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Nick Kroll

Nick Kroll

Sat, 11 Mar 2023 11:55

Nick Kroll is a brilliant comedian and one of the minds behind Big Mouth and History of the World, Part II. We Rick Roll Nick Kroll, that is, ask him questions about roles played by actors named Rick.

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I'm the boy of God, the one he has on his......poise band. Bill Curtis. And here's your host at the Student Maker Theatre at the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois. Fill again for Peters. They go, it is Nagin Farsad. Thank you, Peter. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Bill. Thanks, everybody. As Bill said, I am the Nagin Farsad, sitting in for Peter's Tale, and I am so drunk with power that the script is full of tautologies and dangling particiables. Eat it, Peter. Later on, the hilarious Nick Crowell will join us to play our games. But first, it's your turn. The number is 1-888. Wait, wait, that's 1-888-924-8924. Now let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, you're on. Wait, wait, don't tell me. Good morning. Hello. Who am I speaking to? This is Ben Corey from Everett, Washington. Ben Corey, what do you do in Washington? I got a couple things going on. I'm an owner at Pop Skatechap. The best skatechap in Everett. I teach ethical philosophy to the third, fourth, and fifth graders. And I'm a white. My spare time. So, so, like, what kind of lessons do you teach third and fourth graders? Third and fourth graders about ethical philosophy. Well, we try to dive into what makes a good friend, the value of honesty, why Betty keeps cheating at four square. Amazing. Okay, so Ben, let me introduce you to the panel. First, a senior video editor at The New York Times, where he says he is somehow still awaiting a fair contract. It's Shane O'Neill. Hey, Shane. Hello. Hi, Shane. Hi. Next, she writes the syndicated Ask Amy Advice column and publishes the coziest newsletter on the internet. You can find it on Substack. It's Amy Dickinson. Hey, man. Hi. And an actor and comedian co-hosting the stand-up show we fixed it at caveat in New York City on March 23rd. It's Peter Gross. Hey, Peter. Hello. Hi, Peter. Hi, Ben. You're here to play Who's Bill This Time? Bill Curtis is going to read three quotes from this week's news in his Willough, Louis Dullsett tones. And if you know two of them, you'll win our prize, which is the voice from anyone on our show on your voice mail. And no, I'm not offended that I'm never asked to be that voice. Okay. Ben, are you ready? I'm ready. Okay, your quote is from Tucker Carlson. Texting about someone who, on air, he said he loved. I hate him. I shouldn't. This week, we learned Tucker was one of many Fox News personalities talking trash about who. Oh, yeah. What's Daniel Trump? He's just a robin. Donald Trump. Oh, yeah. That's right. Daniel Trump is right. Tucker Carlson was on a text thread with Sean Hannity and Laura Ingraham. It's like your family group chat, but everybody is the crazy uncle. Have you guys been following this story? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I mean, only with like rapturous glee. Okay. Well, let me explain what's going on. So we're seeing private text from Fox News host, not because we're being punished, but because Dominion voting systems is suing Fox for $1.6 billion for defamation. Basically, Dominion has to prove that he's going to be a Dominion has to prove Fox hosts were saying things on air that they didn't believe. And boy, were they? Well, Tucker and his colleagues were saying the election was rigged when they knew it wasn't. He also said stuff like, Trump is a demonic force. He's the world champion of destroying things. I truly can't wait to ignore him. And if you think what Tucker Carlson said about Trump was bad, I tell you, you hear what normal people said. It's a little too like on the nose for me, almost. It's like, oh, they were literally saying everything that everyone else was saying just in private, but then going on the air and saying the exact opposite. It's like, you could not have written it to be more stereotypically BS. Yeah, we're just lying, liars lying about a liar. Yeah, it's as if... That's like a challenge. Can you say something very descriptive, but only use one word? Also, Rupert Murdock, too, was admitted that he knew it was all BS. Yes. It doesn't get any bigger than that. What I found really amazing about the Rupert Murdock thing is that, first of all, he's still alive. I didn't know. Right? Remarkable. And he actually wasn't aware of any of this because he doesn't get his news from Fox. Right? He admitted that. Like a good drug dealer. Like, you don't get hired in your own supply. He probably reads the Saturday evening post. That's not like that. If it's not in Reader's Digest, at the Supermarket Checkout aisle, I don't see it. All right. Here's your next quote. The old rule was really outdated. You could create any kind of Frankenstein. This is from The New York Times reporting on new FDA guidelines. The first updates since 1994, which say we can't call certain what? Healthier anymore. Food? Yes. That's right. Food. Under new FDA guidelines, packaged foods, including spaghetti, certain sugary yogurt, and cocoa puffs, would no longer be able to use the word healthy. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. So every single thing you named is an important part of my culture. So I'm not good with that. But Amy, I do want you to know that in a generous concession, they are allowing them to keep using the word food. So you get to keep that part. You literally can't say these are healthy spaghetti-os. Should your tongue light on fire if you say that sentence? Well, okay. There has been pushback, the makers of fruity pebbles and lucky charms. Are complaining they'll no longer be allowed to say those foods are healthy, which is weird because, wait a second, they were actually saying that those foods were healthy. They're also not lucky to be sure. I eat those every morning, waiting for when the lottery. I have not won once. Peter, they are magically delicious. You have to grant them that. That is true. I would also say, I mean, I've never eaten fruity pebbles and look at me now. I get nature versus nurture. There you go. When is the FDA going to weigh in on that? I'm surprised that people are like, I would never give my child fruity pebbles. I mean, this just seems like a crackdown on the best place to sleep over when you're a kid. That is true. Can I just say as the Iranian on the stage, people would come over and be like, oh, cool. So we're having a walnut, pomegranate chicken. That's great. Nagine, these. More, more farina. Okay. So your last quote is from the New York Times describing a star-studded event that will take place this weekend. The ceremony is over long with grown and deucing banner between presenters. And to a feeling of bloat. What is the ceremony? I think that's a really mean thing to say about, wait, wait, don't tell me. Oh! Go. Are these the ethics you're teaching your third graders? He came to play the Oscars. I believe, right? That's right. It's Hollywood's biggest night where we root for the one movie I watched over the holidays and winning over a bunch of movies I only watched the trailer for. It's a night to celebrate Hollywood's biggest stars and Andrea Rysbro. Honestly, it's going to be tough to top last year's excitement because slapping isn't going to cut it anymore, right? At this point, we really need someone to get stabbed. As long as we can all vote on who we think it should be, that would be the interesting thing. And this comes in a weird time for Hollywood, like the latest Marvel movies I've tanked. And some people are saying it's the end of superhero films, which is sad because Kate Blanchett already signed up for the eight movies and the Iron Tar expanded symphony verse. Okay. Bill, how did Ben do? You know, Ben not only got three right, but he gets a bonus point for turning the joke on us. Yeah. Good job. Thank you, Bill. Thank you, everybody. Thank you so much for coming on the show, Ben. Goodbye. Okay, panel. It's your turn to answer questions from the news. Amy, a new business is allowing people to use artificial intelligence to write what? Love letters? Oh, so close. That's my next business, by the way. It keeps trying to make you say, till death do us part. Marriage? Proposals. Wedding vows. We'll give it to you. Wedding vows. Wedding vows. For $30, you too can have your wedding vows written by an AI chatbot. That way, you can spend time on more important things, like tying 300 bows to folding chairs. Oh, my God. It's a great option for people who are offered a time-honored script for wedding vows. But said, our love is too special to be captured by pre-written vows. And then said, never mind, I need a robot to explain to me how I feel about my wife. Yeah, I wonder who's doing this more. Men or women? My love, direct. Yeah, just the AI give like a really good guess of how long the marriage will last. Right, till death do us part in two years. I went to my straight college roommate's wedding. And their vows were so beautiful that I started crying. And afterwards, I was like, where did you come up with them? And he's like, oh, I googled it. It was actually for lesbians, but we liked it. Oh, my God. It was actually for lesbians. With a warning, I was like, straight couple. Do not use. But that's the thing is that I'm a traditionalist. That's how I want people to find their vows. Right, by googling it. The old fashion way. The googling lesbian wedding vows. I was like, you're supposed to do it. I bet he was googling lesbian something. It is white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white, white. Coming up. The name's listener. Bluff the listener. Call 1-888, wait, wait, to play. In mere moments, we'll be back with more. Wait, wait, don't tell me. From NPR. Support for NPR and the following message come from GoodRx. If you're looking to take control of your health, GoodRx can help you stop overpaying for your prescription medications. With GoodRx, you can compare prescription prices at over 70,000 pharmacies and instantly find discounts of up to 80%. And even if you have insurance or Medicare, GoodRx may beat your copay price. So for simple smart savings on your prescriptions, go to GoodRx.com slash wait. From NPR and WDBEC Chicago, this is Wait, wait, don't tell me. The NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Amy Dickinson, Peter Gross, and Shane O'Neal. And here we go to your host, a Thustuda Baker Theatre in Chicago, Illinois. Fill again for Peter's sake. Oh, it's the Dean Farsat. Thanks Bill. And now, it's time for the Wait, wait, don't tell me. Block the listener game. Call 1-888, wait, wait, wait to play our game on air. Hello, you're on Wait, wait, don't tell me. Well, hello. My name is Mark Ruchoff. I'm from Murphy, Missouri. Hello, Mark. And what do you do in Murphy, Missouri? In Murphy, Missouri, I am a lazy husband who stays at home and takes care of things. However prior to that, I was a paramedic firefighter. Oh. Oh, that's not lazy. No, dude, you deserve it. That is a... And what is Murphy known for? Being unincorporated and in between the City of St. Louis and......nowhere. All right. Well, it's so nice to have you with us, Mark. In this game, our panelists will eat share's story, but only one is true. Bill, what's the topic? Shaken, not stirred. Being a spy is about more than ejector seats and being annoying Leo CD about your martinis. This week, we learned a startling secret from the world of spies. Our panelists are going to tell you about it. Pick the one who's telling the truth, and you'll win our prize. The weight weight of your choice on your voicemail. Are you ready to play? Yes, I am. Okay. First up, it's Shane O'Neal. In 2007, a CIA agent monitoring online forums hit a gold mine. A small but active community called Melon Heads, buying, selling, and trading large amounts of organic marijuana across state lines. The agent gained the trust of the Melon Heads and eventually deciphered their codes, Watermelon Met Indica, Cantalotment Sativa, and Honeydew met a hybrid strain. After months of preparation and coordination with the DEA, the agent set up a sting in Pittsburgh to bust a delivery of Muskmelon, a particularly aromatic strain of cannabis. The sting went exactly as planned. Literally. Agents were greeted by a truck filled not with weed, but with literal Muskmelon. Apparently, in Melon Heads, Lingo, Watermelon Met Watermelon. Cantalotment, cantalot, and Honeydew met someone out there actually like Toney Do. The Melon Heads were not, in fact, speaking in code, they just liked Melons. The Melon Heads themselves were equally confused when they learned at the sting. I live in Vermont, one of them said, weeds everywhere. Melons aren't. All right. A CIA sting about marijuana that ended up actually being about Melons from Shane O'Neill. Your next story of a spy secret comes from Amy Dickinson. A story in the LA Times reported this week that a small crew of fashion-forward FBI agents have been moonlighting for years during Oscar season as gown spies using their elite covert skills to get a sneak peek at red carpet looks. The most infamous of these is known only as Agent 15. In an exclusive interview, he reported that he has been working for TMZ and people magazine for the last decade. This year, the stakes are huge, he said. I got a look at Kate Blanchett's gown by putting a GoPro on one of those land-mine-sniffing rafts they use in Afghanistan. I named him Larry and had been working with him for several months, training him to stick to the perimeter, avoid blends, and had right toward the silk sharmouse. Larry came back with some great intel. So, what is Blanchett wearing this year? Agent 15 says, well, Larry liked the Alexander McQueen, but looked for Balenciaga with a tiny bit of rat poop on the head. Alright, FBI agents moonlighting for TMZ from Amy Dickinson and your last story of a covert mission comes from Peter Gross. According to a new book released this week called The Dirty Tricks Department, back in the 1940s, a SS, a forerunner of the CIA, experimented with wildly creative ways to best the Nazis in win-World War II. But it was in the area of psychological operations where their methods dipped into truly unorthodox territory. According to the book, the OSS came up with a plan to inject female hormones into Hitler's food. The goal, to make his infamous mustache fall out, to turn him into a soprano, and to cause him to grow breasts. That's right, their plan to end World War II give Hitler booze. They wanted to turn the ubermensch into an uberfrau, a furofrau. Hitler with breasts, can you imagine that? I bet Tucker Carlson can. I bet it's what he has written in the My Ideal Woman section of his Tinder profile. Ultimately though, the plan was scrapped and the OSS put all their energy into trying to get Ember, Hero Hito, into a sleeveless white dress, that have him walk over and air-grade where the wind would send the fabric billowing up the paper. Okay Mark, you've got from Shayne, a CIA sting that turned up melons from Amy, the FBI moonlighting with TMZ, and from Peter O'Cover to give Hitler boobs. Which one is real? I'm gonna go with Peter Gross's OSS. Alright, and to find out the correct answer, we spoke to someone reporting on the real story. Well, the whole idea was that if he could inject these female sex hormones into the vegetables, it would make Hitler's voice turn soprano, it would make his mustache fall out, it would make his chest grow breasts. That was unbelievable. Crazy. That was John Lyle, the author of the new book, The Dirty Tricks Department, who researched this story and is a history professor at UT Austin, talking about the Hitler boobs scheme. But Mark, you not only earn a point for Peter Gross, but you've won our prize, the voice of whoever you choose on your voice mail, and it's usually not me, which I'm obviously totally okay with. Thank you so much for playing with us today. Alright, thank you. I appreciate it. Goodbye. And now the game where big names do something tiny. It's not my job. Nick Kroll spent years playing characters that were anything other than Nick Kroll, before playing a fictionalized version of his middle school self in Bigmouth. He's now one of the creative minds behind the sequel to Mel Brooks' History of the World Part One, which is called Shockingly History of the World Part Two. Nick Kroll, welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. I'm holding for applause. I'm holding for applause. Nick, so you were, I mean, I'll just start with Bigmouth because it's such a huge hit, and it really resonates with a lot of people because of how accurate it is to the middle school experience, like how much of the show is based on your own awkward experiences. Oh, a tremendous amount of it. I would say, I mean, all different things, you know, not all that happened to me or my partner Andrew Goldberg. Did we have a friend who would make love to a pillow? Yes, we did. And I think now is the time to use the name? Yeah, see. I was going to say, say, you have to name somebody from your childhood, but, beat me to it. So you were one of the creative forces behind History of the World Part Two. And I noticed that you were actually a history major at Georgetown. So were you, like, primarily brought in as a history consultant? No, I was not. But I do love history. A lot of my work has had historical elements to it. But I think it was really more of a passion for Mel Brooks than history. That got me to get a gig, I think. Were you intimidated? Were you afraid about making him laugh and what was going to land with him? Oh, yeah. I mean, pitching a joke to your hero is when you get a laugh from Mel Brooks, it's the best feeling in the world. But when, you know, he tells you, no, that joke is stupid. It's a real roller coaster. No, explain this to me. History of the World Part One came out in 1981, over four years ago. Is this the longest anyone that ever waited for a sequel or what? It's possible. I'm currently working on Gone with the Wind, too. The time is right. The time feels right. Especially for the white dude, I think it's such the right call. I guess a good chance for me to tell my story. A Jewish boy from Rise Take on Civil War. So, okay. Are you going to go to the Oscars this weekend? Are you invited? You know, I'm my Popeye. My friend will said I could be a plus one. What's wrong with you? What happened? You might be watching it from the parking lot. I won't be there. Are you rooting for all the quiet on the Western Front? I'm assuming. You seem like that kind of guy. You know I'm a Western Front head. That's where I'm on draft kings. That's where all the other ones are. So, you're known for your characters. You do so many of the great characters on History of the World Part 2. What are some of the characters that have been thought of but haven't made it onto your work? Well, I mean, I build my characters from the name up. That's the most important way. Some people want to be like, oh, this is where this person is from. This is what their family is like. And I built a character in History of the World who's a Russian Jew in the Steadle, sort of a Fiddler on the Roof, a parody. His name is Schmuck Mudman. And the idea is like every Jewish family grew up with like the story of how one of their family members had to escape Russia because they had killed a cassette with their bare hands. And I thought it would be funny if Schmuck just nudged a cassette. I wanted to do a Sir Isaac Newton bit that we never could quite crack. But he just, Apple falls on his head and he, what he discovers is Apple Sauce. And the tepid laugh of the audience is exactly why it is not in there. So, after all this, do you plan on working on History of the World Part Three in 2063? That's the goal. I mean, only if you guys will come and join me and the whole audience will play part in the game. First of it. For just $100 a person, you can apply to Trump University, the interest police base, the part of History of the World Part Three. All right, Nick. We could talk about your shenanigans forever, but we have actually asked you here today to play a game we're calling. Nick Crowell, meet Rick Roll. We're going to Rick Roll you. By that we mean ask you about Rolls played by actors named Rick. Answer two out of three questions correctly and you'll win our prize for one of our listeners. Bill, who is Nick Crowell playing for? Aaron Con of Los Angeles, California. I was very excited. I love Aaron. She's one of my dear friends. All right, here's your first question. Jesse's girl singer Rick Springfield also played Dr. Noah Drake on General Hospital starting in 1981. But Springfield never sang on General Hospital until 2007 as a part of what storyline? Was it A, he was kidnapped and tied up next to a bomb that could only be diffused by singing a certain frequency? B, a rock star who looked exactly like Noah Drake needed emergency surgery so they convinced Drake to fill in for the singer at a big charity concert? Or C, he was abducted by aliens and sang to prove that humans were a worthwhile species? Everybody knows in the wait to wait don't tell me universal how big a general hospital fan I am. So I'm going to say that it was B. That is right to the rock star. Rick Springfield of course played both Rolls, Noah Drake and the singer Eli Love. Here's your next question. Rick Moranis of Ghostbusters fame was fired from the role of Carl the janitor in the breakfast club. Why? Was it A, he insisted on playing the janitor with a cartoonishly thick Russian accent? Fake gold teeth and a gigantic ring of keys? Was it B, he was too short to be seen behind the big trash can he had to wheel around? Or was it C, he spent all day standing outside the bathroom in character and loudly complaining each time somebody used it? I'm going to go I'm going to go with A. That's right it was the Russian accent. After a couple of days John Hughes finally asked him, Rick have you read the script? And he was like no I have it. Why? Jingle, jingle, jingle. Okay for your last Rick Roll, Rick Overton is a veteran character actor who has played almost 200 roles including Deacon Williams in the 2015 Lifetime Original Movie Lethal seduction. What was the tagline of Lethal seduction? Was it A, never going to give you up? B, never going to let you down. Or C, never going to run around or desert you. Well of course this is a joke about Rick Astley, the original Rick Roll. I don't appreciate you guys not taking the game seriously. My god is this A, never going to give you up. You know what, it was none of the above and we were taking it seriously but we are going to give that point to you. You better, I'm taking this very seriously. I don't know if you guys joking around. It was the tagline by the way because I know you're dying to know. The tagline was actually innocence can be deadly but you can't reduce to that. Yeah, like I didn't know that. Like Lethal seduction. Lethal injection or whatever. Lethal injections. Right. Bill, how did Nick Crowe do on our quiz? Nick, you might be surprised but you got him alright. You're a win in our box. I'm going to be out of feed you guys. I'm not surprised at all. This is what I've been training for my whole life. I was never letting her in down. I came here to dominate Rick Roll. I came here to embarrass Pete Gross. I feel like I've got a problem with her. I love this audience again. You guys are all going to be on history of the World Part Three. Just said that $100 cash to Pete Gross has from the bottom of the E.com. You can see Nick Crowe in history of the World Part Two on Hulu. Thank you so much for joining us on Weight Weight Don't Tell Me. Thank you, Nick. In just a minute, we hear crickets in our listener-limmered challenge game called 1-888. Weight Weight to join us on air. Stay tuned for more. Weight Weight Don't Tell Me from NPR. From NPR and WDV Easy Chicago, this is Weight Weight Don't Tell Me the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We're playing this week with Peter Gross, Shayne O'Neill and Amy Dickinson. And here I get a share host at the Student Bakery Theatre in Chicago, Illinois. Philigan for Peter's Segal, it's the Dean Far-Sop. Thanks Bill. In just a minute, Bill gets limmeric rolled. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888. Weight Weight, that's 1-888. 9248. 9248. But first, we have some more questions for the panel. Peter, new research from a behavioral scientist says the best way to deal with your anxiety is to embrace your inner what? The best way to deal with my anxiety, personally. To embrace your inner anxious adult. I'm going to give you a clue. Okay. Just grab a club and relax. Caveman? That's right. Okay. Caveman. The theory suggests that we all have primitive parts of our brains that are constantly worried about survival, food, and shelter. So, like, don't beat yourself up about your anxiety. That's the part of your brain that used to get chased by saber tooth tigers talking. You can't help it. Just take a Xanax. Zanax. The way the caveman did. Just take a Xanax. Absolutely. The caveman, Xanax, is like a club to the head. We just want to get passed out. Okay. Amy, scientists were shocked this week when a Jurassic era insect was found alive. Where? Was it clinging to the outside wall of a Walmart? Yes. That's exactly right. And then after I caught it, I like to put pins in the screens so it couldn't fly away. So, Amy's absolutely right for whatever reason. She knows this. But you really can't find everything at a Walmart, including an old bug everyone thought was dead. Scientists were shocked when a giant lace wing was discovered at a Walmart in Arkansas by a Penn State professor of Walmart studies. The bug was likely attracted to the super store because of the unique habitat surrounding the location and because there's a good chance something was sticking in the parking lot. So, it's a live bug that is prehistoric or it was like this amber thing that's stuck on the side of it. It was thought extinct. At least regionally extinct. Yeah. Amazing. Yeah, and the guy caught it and then walked around with it in the Walmart so he could digly shopping. He was like, I have ammo to buy. And cereal. But wait, so did he just take a bug and literally walk around with it like this? And the bug was like, I want to go home. Is he just letting me shop? What was the name of this bug? Troy. That's correct. Yeah. Shane, technology can be a lifesaver. When a Volkswagen was stolen with a toddler still inside, police were able to call VW and ask them to locate the car by activating the car's tracking feature. It would have worked perfectly except for what? The toddler had driven it off-grid. No, that's not true. Where were it perfectly except for what? Can I get a hand title? Yeah, yeah. Insert credit card to locate your child. The child was microchipped? That's awful. That's pretty convenient actually. Honestly, honest. Like the owners of the car had not done something. Like a monthly thing that you do that's annoying. That's not getting your period. Yeah. Oh my god, they hadn't paid the bill. They had it right. The owner's free trial period had ended. The police called VW and VW said, sorry, can't help you. That's a subscription service and the owner hasn't paid. So the police had to get her credit card, give it to VW and get the subscription activated. Just minutes after the toddler was already found safe and sound in the vehicle, which had been abandoned in a nearby parking lot, she must have been so relieved to get in and drive him home. But as she drove away, she wondered, she paid the break subscription. Yeah, what's the subscription that the find my car service? Is the subscription? It's like a, yeah. I mean, it's part of the Disney bundle. Oh, sorry. So I'm not sure how he had it. And I love that this wasn't a kidnapping, but VW still held the kid for ransom. Exactly. Like how weird to go from farfing nougat to, we have your kids. Next up, we're playing Lightning Fill in the Blank, but first, it's the game where you have to listen for the ride. If you want to play on air, you can call or leave a message at 1-888-8-8-8-8-8-924-8-924 or click the contact us link on our website, weightweight.npr.org. You can see us here most weeks at the beautiful Studebaker Theatre in Chicago and will be at T-Pack in Nashville, April 27th, and at Tinglewood in Western Massachusetts on June 22nd. Take its information at nprpresents.org. Hi, you're on weightweight, don't tell me. Hey, this is Laurie Brasell, and I'm coming from Harvard eGreys, Maryland. Oh, Laurie. Hey, you're on weightweight. Hey, what are you doing, Maryland? What do I do? Well, I'm a toxicologist. You know what, before I say this, I'm a DOD toxicologist, and I have to say, I have to give you the disclaimer here. My participation is of my own accord, and anything that I say is based on my own opinion and not the opinion or representation or the official position of the DOD. Oh, okay, Laurie. You, I can't, at this point, I don't even remember. You speak fully on behalf of the Department of Defense. No, no, sorry. You absolutely do not. Okay, so we are so glad you're on the show today, Laurie. Bill Curtis is going to read you three lemurics. The last word of phrase is going to be missing from each, and if you can guess that word of phrase correctly on at least two lemurics, then you win. Here's your first lemuric. Our budget, ice cream, many do pick it. The protein and crunch is the ticket, playing vanilla, we blend with Pinocchio's friend. And our top flavored ice cream is... Crickets. So nice. Wow. Good job. That's so fun. You can now buy Cricket Ice Cream in Germany, and to be clear, this isn't just like a clever name, like Moostrax or Rocky Road. Cricket Ice Cream is vanilla ice cream and bugs. It's the perfect dessert for the person disappointed Turtle Sunday. You didn't have real Turtle. Why Germany? I mean, haven't they done enough back? Thank you. Okay, here's your next lemuric. Here's a tip to make times with a broad list. First off, on a date, get the nod fast. And don't link to your show where you rant with your bros. Don't tell her you're hosting a... podcast? Yes. Yes. How about that? This week, the New York Times reported more women are starting to steer clear of men who identify as podcasters. So all of them... And actually, that may need some fact checking because it suggests women were ever interested in podcasters. There you go. Women making fun of podcasters, they've dated is so popular that male podcasters are now lying about what they do on dates. Some men say they work in digital media while others use the more comments in an infer podcaster, unemployed. Alright. Here's your last lemuric. Clean surfaces do not impress. And condo is done causing stress. Now my heart is a flutter. We're all loving clutter. I brag that my place is a... Math. Three of the row shoes on the weather and the champ. According to the New York Times, messy and cluttered houses are not only acceptable now. They're actually cool. It's no longer... damn girl, you live like this. It's now... damn girl, you live like this. I've been wondering why architectural digest is following me around. Bill, how did Lori do? So, impress people can send her a bottle of weekend edition, Kevin. Lori, congratulations. Thank you so much for playing. Oh, thank you. Goodbye. Bye. Now it's time for Lightning Fill in the Blank. The last game of the show and let's be honest, the most stressful. Each player has 60 seconds to answer as many fill in the blank questions as they can. Each correct answer is worth two points. Bill, what are the scores? Shane and Amy have two. Peter has three. Alright. So, Shane and Amy, you're in second place. Grocery, you have the most points and I'm going to mix things up this week. That means you're going first. Okay, fill in the blank. Following several trained derailments, the National Transportation Safety Board said they were opening an investigation into the rail company, Blank. Norfolk Southern. Right. On Thursday, Auto Giant Blank announced a $1.5 billion buyout program. General Motors. Right. On Wednesday, the Governor of Minnesota signed an executive order protecting access to Blank Affirming Healthcare. Gender. Right. On Wednesday, House Republicans held their first hearing on the origins of Blank with a focus on the LabLeak theory. COVID-19. Right. This week, the Wall Street Journal reported on a snow plow in New York that citizens have named Blank. Rudy Giuliani is an insane maniac. No, no actually. But it's a Fogeta plowdit. Close. So close. On Thursday, a new report found that the original source of Earth's Blank was likely interstellar. Just vibe. Vib. General like vibe. I'm going to give it to you. Water. This week a policeman in the Netherlands who thought he was monitoring a Chinese spy balloon from his cruiser eventually realized Blank. It was a child's birthday balloon. It was just burp poop on his windshield. Like permanently on the pool. I'm doing such a good job of following this thing. The cop was convinced he was seeing a giant white balloon silhouetted against the blue sky. But was baffled that no matter how much he drove, it didn't change in size. It wasn't until he stopped that he realized it was just burp poop on his windshield. He immediately got an eye exam, which he failed because he thought that every oh was also a spy balloon. What's amazing is that he told people about it. I know. Oh my god. Bill, how did Peter do? Peter got five right with ten more points and a total of 13, he's in the lead. And pressure. All right. Amy, you're up next. Fill in the blank. Following a fall at a DC hotel sent at minority leader, Blank was hospitalized on Wednesday. Mitch McConnell. Right. On Tuesday, five women filed suit against the state of Texas over their Blank ban. Abortion. Right. This week, Iran told UN officials that they would be reinstalling monitoring equipment at all blank sites. Nuclear sites. On Wednesday, NASA said they were monitoring a blank that could collide with Earth in 2046. Asteroid. Right. According to a new report, regulators are investigating electric car company Blank after reports that their steering wheels can fly off while you're driving. Tesla? Right. This week after pop star Rosalia didn't book a tour stop in Peru, one fan responded by Blanking. Put on a Rosalia mask and performed it instead. Oh, so much more than that. They spent $100,000 recreating every detail from the show herself and performing it for 3,500 people. I feel like I should get that. I was so close. It was close. The Disappoint Advanced spared no expense in recreating Rosalia's show hiring eight backup dancers and spending over $100,000 to make sure every detail was perfect. It just shows how much easier it is for people who are independently wealthy to break into the spending two hours lip syncing to someone else's music industry. Bill, how did Amy do? She has a total of 12 that means Peter is still in the lead with me. So close, Amy. So close. And so, Bill, how many does Shane need to win? Six to win. Okay. Okay, Shane. This is for the game. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, Russian missile strikes knocked a nuclear plant off the power grid in blank. You can do right. Right. After a proposed increase to the retirement age nationwide protest broke out in blank. Fonds. Right. This week, the White House released its annual blank proposal. A budget. Right. After over a year of GOP opposition, Gigi Sone, Biden's choice to serve on the blank with through her nomination. Tenous Court. The FCC. According to a new study, 59% of long blank patients have organ damage. COVID. Right. On Thursday, Topal best known for playing Tevya in blank passed away at the age of 87. Fiddler on the roof. Right. This week, CNN reported on a researcher using the power of AI to explore how US presidents throughout history would blank. Party! Close, they used AI to figure out how the presidents would look with a mullet. I think I should get that one. Yeah. It was a sociable. Totally. It's a sociable. Totally. It's a sociable. The day of the year. Bill, did Shane do well enough to win? He got four right. Eight more points. His Ten isn't quite good enough to reach Peter, who is a champion with 13 this week. Nice, Peter. I would like to dedicate this victory to my son who I did not hang out with today But I love you and I'll see you later in a minute We'll ask our panelists to predict who is gonna get banned at this year's Academy Awards But first let me tell you that wait wait don't tell me is a production of NPR and WB easy Chicago in Association with urgent haircut productions Doug Berman benevolent over Lord Philip Goadeka writes our lemmricks our public address announcer is Paul Friedman our tour manager Shayna Donald Thanks to the staff and crew at the Studebaker Theatre BJ leaderman composed our theme our program is produced by Jennifer Mills Miles Dornboss and Lillian King special thanks to Blythe Robertson and Monica Hickey Peter Gwynne also looks great with a mallet Our intern is Vaishnavi Neh Do Technical direction Lorna White special thanks to Gary yet our CFO is Colin Miller our production manager is Robert new house Our senior producers Ian Chalagg the executive producer of Wait Wait don't tell me is Mike Danforth now panel Who's gonna get banned at this year's Oscars Shane O'Neal Pedro Pascal and Jennifer Coolidge band preemptively for fear that a joint appearance would literally Slay any gay man watches Amy Dickinson Merrill Street she knows what she did And Peter gross due to new health restrictions the FDA will ban the following people from attending Betty Crocker chef boy our Dean and captain crunch And the penny in that happens panel we're gonna ask you about it on wait wait don't tell Thank you Bill Curtis Thanks also to Peter gross Shayna O'Neal and Amy to consent and thanks to all of you for listening I'm the game person out in her theater say go and we'll see you next week This is NPR