Saving Grace

Join TikTok's GKBarry every Wednesday for absolutely outrageous conversation with a selection of very special guests! Grace Keeling walks you through her WILD life, filled with embarrassing stories from Uni and beyond...

48: ShxtsnGigs Talk Walking In On Parents, DISGUSTING Would You Rather & MORE!

48: ShxtsnGigs Talk Walking In On Parents, DISGUSTING Would You Rather & MORE!

Wed, 15 Mar 2023 17:55

The hosts of ShxtsGigs James & Fuhad are here to spill the tea. They don't hold back sharing most horrendous embarrassing stories, disgusting would you rather & walking in on their Dad with the DOG!

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Guys if you're watching this make sure you subscribe if you want to watch the whole thing watch it on YouTube Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Welcome back to another episode of Saving Grace. Today we've got the ops on who sits and gays. For you a haze! Wow! Wow! I like to take it as a compliment. That's a big compliment. I'm in the space. I reached out to you guys and I said hello. Would you like to come on? Tell me the response. What did I say? I think it was something along the lines of yuck. Obviously not. This shows dog shit. Yeah and also it's not like you put it for like a minute. And then we're like joke it. It was like 20 minutes. Okay in my defense. Right. I was like what the fuck? So what I did was I left it out because I thought this could get bad. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I thought I'm going to leave it open. And once I know she's seen it then I'll reply. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But what you didn't know is I'd seen it and I was like oh my god. Yeah. How did it make you feel? Yeah. How did you feel? My boyfriend's always like, I'm a big boy. Don't be scared to reach out to people. What is the worst thing they can say? The worst thing they can say is no. We were together and I went the worst thing they can say is no. Yeah. Anywhere I'm really sorry. And then he said, Jokey was like, what did I fuck? I'm just gonna shut up. Bro, this is like, yeah, my that was like my favourite day of all time. Oh god. I was so excited. Were you? Yeah. I can sense the sarcasm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're sick. Yeah. And yeah, I'm sorry I had to have that effect as well. But no. Okay. It's all good. We're here now. So it's all good. Yeah. We're going to take it back to the very beginning. Oh, that's right. How did it site you to a couple? How did you guys meet? Judy. Oh yeah. We met so many. In 2009. 2009. Yeah. Yeah. We're older shit. You're old goats. Great skin. That's why you wouldn't know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like couple length things. Yeah. So what can you do? What about? I am going to crack and watch it. And that's the issue. I asked. So what did you do? We won the same course. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But I was in the science. Yeah. I've heard people men that do sports science are dogs. Were you dogs at uni or not? I actually was in a relationship pretty much the whole of uni. Really? Pretty much the whole. Hmm. Why you? Two years. No. What are you having a bit? Yeah. A year and a bit. Yeah. We're there for four years, bro. All right. That's a dog for the other bit. I was a dog for the other bit. Yeah. Yeah. To be fair though, I was, yeah, I was in the ratio, in most of it. But I was a dog for like, I was, I squeezed a whole thing in like six months. Yeah. Yeah. The last, yeah, the last six months were there. Yeah. Imagine you made up for your time. I made up for it. I don't get it. When I started uni, I had a boyfriend. I thought you've got a guy. Really? Straight a while. I started off fucking about with that. Yeah. Yeah. You've got to be, I knew some people at uni. It was getting mad. And they had girlfriends, but they, you wouldn't think they had girlfriends. Oh, yeah. You needs to watch West. Yeah. Yeah. That is, it's horror. It's hell. Yeah. So you guys are friends from there. Yeah. How did you start podcast? That's a longer story of longing down the line. Yeah. All right. Let me, I've said this enough times. I should be able to get it like three more on now. Straight away. All right. Cool. So if you had moved to Manchester for work, so I used to go visit him all the time. And then one more there would just get pissed. And then, of course. Yeah. When we were hanging over, hung over the next day, we'll just tell us shit those stories. And just laugh and laugh and laugh. And then I was ball-steeping podcast at the time. All of them didn't know I was going. Yeah. Yeah. I was obsessed with podcasts and I was like, all right, cool. Also, I had a really shitty job and I needed to have a grain of hope that there was another way out of this. There's a lot of this life. There's a lot of this life. But I don't know if hope I'm going to jump. Yeah. So I was like, cool. Let's do a podcast and he was like, no. So about six months of asking, the venture he was like, all right, cool. We'll do it. And then, yeah, that was it. Bought the shit and then it started in his living room. Yeah. Really? It started from the bottom now. You're here. Bro. Bro. That's what that helped. Yeah. Bro. That was what it was. That was what it helped. So what is the most, because you guys love to talk about people's stories, problems, whatever. What's the most embarrassing thing that you guys have ever done? The most embarrassing thing I've ever done. That's a shit. That's a shit. The first thing that comes to mind is when I got absolutely plastered for, was it called? Was that Ray Fkaudini? Carnage? Carnage. The Barcral. The Barcral. He was the... Compatible. That was embarrassing. That was... I've said it on a pot a few times. And the quarter trifecta I was done. I was absolutely done. So let me paint a quick picture. I had never been to said Barcral before. Right. James and Opinacol. Barcral is a dangerous spot. They are. James and one of our friends had gone the year before. Right. And they were hyping up the whole thing. Like, okay, say less. I'm running through next year. Got the teas and everything. So I'm gas, gas, gas. So around, we had lectures that same day. So I just lit you straight from lectures, got home, and I was drinking as soon as I got home. Let's get ready. Let's get ready. Let's get ready. You drinks for Barcral. This is it. Me. I was overzealous and excited. So I will drink a bottle and a half of Amaretto. Because I like sweet liquor. Sick for first of all. Yeah, literally on its own. I was a bottle and a half, and I was thinking, okay, I'm ready. I'm ready. But he hit me later on. And I was going from, let's say, 100 meters, we walked from my house to our house to one of our friends' apartments. Because that's where we're going to leave from. Yeah, that one road away. One road away. And there was a car parked in front of it. I literally fell over on the car. Toby's got a picture of that till dates. Got in. They were chilling, getting ready. And I was like, boys, I don't think I can make it. No way. So they lived on the 7th or 8th floor. And they had, obviously, they had a window, but you can't open it too wide. So it was just literally a jar. And I had to fit my lips through and just threw up all the way down, all the way down from top to bottom. And I was like, okay, now I feel a little bit better. But let me lie down. And I was lying down, lying down, I was like, fellas, I can't do it. And I was like, we only just lived down the road. They said, oh, let me take you home. There was like four or five of them. They couldn't pick me up. My dead weight is side-offs. Yeah, it's absolutely something. Can you buy a bit of? A bread? Hover? I wasn't thinking. Yeah, nothing was happening. To be fair, nothing was going to help. I was going, he was done. Yeah, he was done and he was done. Comato's done. That's ridiculous. That's gone. Yeah. And then the unthinkable happened because I needed to use a toilet. But again, let me give you context. Yeah. So in the apartment we were in, it was a union apartment, obviously. So all the rooms are locked with key cards, but they share a living, slash kitchen. So that's where we were chilling. Obviously, these men had gone out and then he'd used a toilet and I found a bucket in the corner. So I did what I needed to do, fell asleep, woke up and dipped. Long story short. That is. Long story short. Long story short. Long story short. Long story short. Yeah. There's just piss and shit in the bucket and there's only one person. I want shit. I'll try it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll try it. I've threw up the shat and pissed. You did like to try our flogger. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Disgusting. Yeah, yeah. This was going on. I'm not sure if you did go the year after and actually, I think we. You did go the year after because the year after was the one that I got. Yeah, it's all in spite of you. He's a fucker. He threw the fuck up next year. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't care. I don't care. That's his day somewhere. I don't care. It's that hole. Yeah, yeah. I remember I was blind drunk. I was stuck in a bendy. I didn't know how I got there, but I just had chicken in my hand and I was ringing my friend like help. Oh, that was disgusting. Disgusting, but yeah, that was probably the most embarrassing things that happened to you as well. I don't even know the most embarrassing that happened to me. What's too many? There's a shitload. Yeah. Throw it, Jen. Central C. Okay, that's pretty much that was like last week. Yeah. What? All right, say less. Wow, what's up? Wow, you're a mug. Wow, wow, wow. Okay, say less. Why is what has to be yours? All right, cool. Oh, that was what I was in Bistar a few weeks ago. This is to be fair. This is on the rounds on TikTok. It's also fine. I was in Bistar a few weeks ago for Christmas shopping. I said a few weeks ago. Just before Christmas. A few weeks ago. Yeah, yeah. Just before Christmas. And, um, oh, it's just so embarrassing. This is actually the most embarrassing thing. So, I was walking down the road and these group of girls were like looking back at me. Yeah. And I was like, oh, f***ing hell, here we go. Like two famous. Clown in my god. Clown in my god. Clown in my god. Clown in my god. Clown in my god. Clown in my god. Clown in my god. Clown in my god. Clown in my god. They keep going. Keep going. I was like, right, this is actually embarrassing. Now I'm going to have to like get out the way. And literally as I'm like moving out the way, they're still looking where I was standing. And I was like, turn around, f***ing central seas stood there. And were you making it obvious that you were making it obvious? I was making it blatantly obvious that I was incredibly smug about the fact that I'm too famous for Bistar Ville. You got that. I'm like, yeah, guys, let me shot. Yeah. In bees. Yeah. Maybe live a normal life. Yeah, let me be a civilian for once. But, yeah, so that's, that is probably in the moment I've never felt more involved with that. Today's episode is sponsored by Gusto. Gusto gives you all of the ingredients you need to make some incredible home cooked meals and it is perfectly portioned so there is no waste and you're not over it in or under it in. They have easy to read recipe cards and you can also choose from over 250 recipes and get them delivered to your door any day of the week. Gusto makes it easy to plan meals, whether you're a uni student, a mum, or just work in 9 to 5 and you don't want that added stress of what the hell am I going to have for dinner tonight. I haven't bought anything. It's already there and it's easy to use and you know there's going to be no waste. Gusto ensures that all of the ingredients are fresh and really high quality. You can use my code Grace at to get 60% off of your first box and then 25% off of your next two boxes. So that is Grace at Thanks Gusto for sponsoring today's podcast. That is like when you're someone's wavering you wavering. Oh that's happening so many times. I don't waver. Even if it could be towards me I'm not doing it. You're just sterile. Because I'm like there's no where I'm risking that embarrassment. And I can't see as well. If there's someone in the distance I have to get like this class to be like all that. Yeah yeah yeah. That's Janice to actually clock. Do you know my glasses? I do but I look like you see I'm going to be better. Yeah America Ferrera that's a real name. Yeah yeah that's exactly what I'm saying. I don't know. I don't know. I'm just a random fact. I'm thinking I'm going to need to dress up as well. Why don't you change like the shape of the glasses I've been. Because none of them suit me. Got contacts. Stocked to my eyeballs. Had to not peel it off my eye. Because no one tells you your eyes get dry. I was just like their moist like I can that's the thing. Yeah. If I can cry there's water in there. And I went to peel it off and I had to wake my dad up and it was like surgery. They were like squeezing it. I just went off top it there but yeah it was horror. So I'm just going to be blind. I'm just going to get laser what the fuck. Yeah I'm scared. How much is it? It's expensive. Yeah laser per eyes like five bills. Yeah I'll get that. Oh that's not bad. 500 pound an eye for vision. Yeah but the thing is you can go blind. You can go blind is a risk. Oh please imagine paying to go blinds when we could just accept being blind. Alright say let's go. What's the odds of going blind now? I don't know I'm not just a part of it. Oh my god did you watch that? Yeah. I don't think any of them were. That was so good. I want to have you met Mr. Beast? No I would not. I want to be Mr. Beast. I'm just going to ask you a question. No I've never met my famous YouTube. You'd be surprised. I feel like people have met Mr. Beast. People surprisingly so people actually have met Mr. Beast. He was here last year. And he's just like your five rounds and you're like yeah. Do you think you could do one of those videos where you have to stay in a circle for like 50 days or whatever it is? Bro what one did I watch the other day that resonated. It was you to a tee. It was the plane one he did with a house one. The plane one I remember when I was one. I was done in 30 seconds. You said fuck this. You said fuck this. And then he gave him his card. That would have been you. Definitely. If I could sit down I'd do it. But I just stood up fuck that. And it's cold outside. Bro I'm not doing a stand up. Those stand up ones are crazy. That was when we went to IB for a couple of years ago. I went to Aswaya. The whole shit's just standing up bro. We've got like a table too. Bro so we were broke a shit as well. So we went there and we had to go there with a free ticket. You said a boat pipe before. Yeah. So we were at a boat party and then we're like, oh come to this boat pipe. We're at the worst boat pipe. Why? Bro I'm just gonna leave it. Yeah he's a pipe. One thing you should know about if you're going to head he only throws up. Oh I'm sorry. He's saying it. The reason he was like is bonnet. Fun fact I threw up this morning. On my life let me tell you the story. Let me tell you the fucking story. On my day. Yeah so I've sent the story on the plot. Yeah literally it's crazy to me. Because I've sent this on the story. Sorry. Fun fact I threw up this morning. Wow go on. So I said to James on the pod before. Do you know how I know I can never be gay? Because if I brush my tongue and I gag. Oh that's the ugly face. I have no gag reflexes. So I was brushing my teeth bro. I brush my tongue today and I didn't go that far. I know I didn't go that far. But you know when you shake a little bit. I said fucking I dropped the toothbrush. My skin was shaking. And you know what you're trying to catch your breath. But every breath you take. Oh you still have. It feels like. Yeah. So staring at myself. You look at me looking at me. I was thinking please please please please please please please. I just got out of the shower as well. So I'm telling you everything. I was like oh god I feel like I'm going to throw up. And then I just spat. I think I coughed and I spat in the sink. I was like okay it's gone. Took a couple breaths. Took a couple breaths. I was like and I took a deep breath. I was like oh it's back. It's back. I was on my hands and knees. But this morning I was on my hands and knees and I toilet. The room up and I was shaking. I was brushing your teeth. I went and I promised you I didn't go past like it. And sighting just happened. Why? I don't understand how that happened. I have no idea. Can you normally brush your tongue? Yeah I brush my tongue every day. I was going to say you might have stanky breath. I brush my tongue every day. But I don't know what happened today. It just went too far. This is... Yeah you're just vomit. I was on my hands and knees as well. You were shaking. We're going to cut that and just leave that in the air. The reason I know I'm going hands and knees as well. Oh my god that's hilarious. Do you guys have like a moment together that you'd say is your funniest moment? Good question. That's a very good question. You've had moments before. Yeah. Because we've had you always laughing. Yeah. He's the funniest person I've ever met. He makes laugh every day. Funny is moment together. While you're thinking I'll tell mine then. Go on, go on, go on. Me and my friend Tatt write big versions when it comes to Wade, right? Well not really but like at uni we will like we need to act like we know what we're doing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We take the dealer. You're like you're. Yeah, yeah. I was like you got any of that like crazy lemon hash. Yeah, yeah. I was like fully like yeah I googled the. Determinal D. Yeah, I was like I love her 20s. Got it whatever. So that's the level that we're at. Yeah. There's a guy in our area that was like I'm making like brownies or whatever it is. So I was like yeah fuck it we'll get them. At the time I didn't realize he'd put like. Wres in like all of this stuff in it that was like a stupid amount. So you realistically should only have taken one bite to get that effect. We didn't know that so we ate so much of it right. So we're in a room and it no we're downstairs. I'm downstairs with her mum and I start feeling like a wave of anxiety. Yeah. You know when it starts and I'm like my legs go in I feel like I'm going to be sick. But I'm talking to her mum. Her mum's this Irish woman who said she's like so like obviously and when you're high. Yeah. I'm going to make him. Bro. I do what it's right. I'm so like so obviously. I'm so glad to go on. She's I. So I feel like I'm learning panic set. We have to go upstairs. I think I'm about to die like I feel like electricity is shooting through my body. Like you know when you white in your life I'm going to die. This is happening. She's laughing then all of a sudden her throat starts closing up. I see that turns no no it turns out he put nuts in the brownie and didn't tell her what that there was fucking nuts in it. So we're both there. She can't breathe. She's coming out in hives. I'm high prevent relating and we're contemplating whether to call an ambulance or not. And we genuinely was so close to an ambulance and we look back at it and I'm like that's hilarious. But at the time. Yeah. We'd not to be messed with it's like crack. I was going to say I think in when you're talking I'm thinking I'm sure she's the funniest thing that happens. No funny. Good luck. I'm afraid it's an addict shot. You both could have died. That's not funny. It's true. We wouldn't be here today. That's hilarious. No but we were like we can't call an ambulance because everyone's going to know we're high. So I was like you have to die. Wow. I'm going to let the level where you have passed away for me to call that. Yeah. Because what like the an Irish mother's not going to sit there and be like love that. Yeah. If you know what I mean she's going to be absolutely fucking fuming. There's no way. Jesus. And I hope she doesn't watch the part. She probably won't. It's fine. It was like a few years ago. Damn bro. Yeah. Okay. So yeah. If we're talking that kind of funny probably your like drunk and miseries is probably like the funniest thing I can think of. Oh yeah. Yeah. And just like drank his sorrows away. That's always a good idea. That was years ago. Until it happens. Yeah. Yeah. I remember I think I remember fell over in front of his mum's house. Yeah. Yeah. You were passed out on the doorstep outside my mum's house and I had to like carry you into the house. That was more to find. But you're mum like what? In his house. Yeah. Have you ever like a huge high person as well to fall over like while you're in the club. Are you a fuller over? No. Yeah. No. Oh you definitely are. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You give me like baby giraffe. Yeah. Yeah. You give me baby giraffe. Yeah. Just so bad. I'm just fine. I've fallen over one time in a club. I'll be you. Yeah. We were out in. That's so embarrassing. It's disgusting. It's what it is. The work it was my birthday and I remember so we're good friends with this girl who used to be a club promoter at Liverpool. So for my birthday what she went around and did it was told all of the bar managers that she knew and gave them my picture. I was like if you give if you see this guy where every order is given a triple. Oh. Literally. Did I pass a good thing or a bad thing? Oh it was a bad thing. Okay. It was called like the first time but I didn't know why they were doing this. Yeah. I just thought drinks in Liverpool are stronger shit. Yeah. And so by that the third bar that we'd gone to I was fucked. And then we went out in this. We went out in this in this club and they pricked they had like a stage. They had a stage but the step to get on the stage was like this. So it was like this. It wasn't really a stage. And I must have been walking backwards it caught me on the Achilles and bro I was flat. I was done. You were there as well on the stage. So no one else is standing on this platform and I'm literally starfished on it. And you're the Achilles. Why did I take this? I'm your brother. Bro. I was like, okay cool, cool, cool, cool. You're in your back. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I remember I literally grabbed the net trying to get up and my abs didn't have it. I landed back again. I swear to God I needed the whole stage to swallow. That's probably actually the most embarrassing thing I've ever seen. It's difficult in a club as well because there's so many people that have seen this happen. And you know most of them probably will remember that. And it will be in their next morning debrief. Remember that guy that fucking said that that that fell over on the stage and could literally couldn't get up. I was clawing at the net stage stage stairs. Worse to stairs. If I fall down a stair I hope it kills me. I cannot. The same is getting hit by a car. I get hit by a car. Oh, I'm not looking that way from that. I hope to God. I die. Yeah, because imagine having to get up being up right. That is and carry on walking. One shoes missing. That is not in the middle of the A-Pi. It's made up all over the road. Nah bro. I would mirror a smash. Oh my God. And you know everyone's like you were the thing is we're falling over right. It's fine if people laugh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's fine. But it's when people are like you're okay. I hate that. I would jump if I'd have another car. I'm not asking you. I'm not asking. I'll plight the place my head under the fence. Just finish me off bro. Just finish me off bro. Keep it coming. That's more to it. Oh, yeah, that's horror. That horror. I actually forgot about that stage thing until just now. Sorry. Sorry about that. I was there. I remember you being there. Yeah, it was vile. Vile. I like it in my head. Vile bro. And then I remember on the way, oh, this is making people sick. I remember on the way home. On the way home, I was so hammered and I was on the phone to a girl. No. I was just on the phone to a girl I like who one of those girls, of course. It was like one of them on the same car. Oh, man. You feel it like I'm prickling out. Yeah, that was bad. No, calling because when you're drunk, you think it's such a good idea. I put the wettest stuff on my story, like, loving all guys like, you're not changing my life. And then the next time, I'm like, delete that. That is so fucking embarrassing. And the text, the text. Are you drunk textors? Or can you actually check it out? I can't control myself. I can't control myself. It depends. Yeah, sometimes I am. I'm like, I'm a girl. I've said I drunk text on my day, but to be fair, it's actually never been bad. Really? It's never, yeah, it's never been bad. Good for you. You just put it all out though. I feel like, yeah. Or then I, but I refuse to look at it the next day. I will not scroll back. What's been said has been said. That's exactly right. And like, yeah, because I'll cripple it. I'll actually be like, and you know, when you're hung over in your life, I have to die. Yeah, it hurts. Yeah. I can't deal with that. Especially if I know I've also sent a message right like, you can't, like, oh, Oh, I'll die. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's, I couldn't wait. I got to that, bro. I remember, I couldn't wait. I got to that. I remember there was a girl from uni who messes, it was like five years after uni. Yeah, yeah. She was in like a committed relationship. And she was like, I love my boyfriend so much. This is out of the blue. He was like, I remember the morning. I remember this. He said I love my boyfriend more than anything. And I was thinking, it's garbage. And then she was like, but that did. And I was like, wow. I work on the next morning, she blocked me. Yeah. She couldn't face that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I could imagine. No, fair enough. Would you have even replied? No. Yeah, fair. Yeah, fair. Yeah. Oh, oh. Oh, yeah. Every fiber of me wanted to reply. Yeah, I would have been so solid as well. Yeah, you would have been solid. I love my boyfriend so much. But I'm pretty sure it's not send it to you. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You might have looked like a baby. Yeah, that would have sent me. I sent like a baby that night. I was like, wow, I'm really him. You knew you. I'm really him. I'm not guy. Yeah, that was a good one. You might be the boyfriend and seeing I said that you know, I'm impossible. Impossible. I promise you, there's few things that would make me also put my head under that tire. Seeing my girlfriend message, he said, I love my man more than anything. But. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah, I thought you had a gang reflex. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, no, no, no. I couldn't deal with that. Yeah, I couldn't swallow that pill. That's, I hope, that's the worst thing I've ever had. But I'm gonna, I've asked people for some widgey ravers, right? Oh, say that. Oh, sit. Suck your mum's discharge. Oh, for God's sake. Yeah, go on. All your dad's come. And you have to do it, by the way, there's no, like, you have to choose one. Suck it out of the orifice. I mean, I'd, what the fuck? Why do you think you're so much into that? The orifice. Bro, if it's in a, if we're talking cup for cup, or if I should get it out from the, the genitals. You have to, let's make it a little bit nicer. Shot glass. Shot glass. This is Rosie. Mum's this or dad's not. I'm gonna go with, I'm just gonna say, I'm gonna go with discharge. I think I'm gonna go with discharge. Yeah, but there's er, both sides. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just can't drink another man's not. That's the only way I'm thinking about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In fact, you're back in siblings. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're actually, you're back in, yeah, yeah. So that's cannibalism and also, yeah. Yeah, discharge, just like this. Have you guys ever tried your own car? No, let's not even go down this spiral. We're not doing this. I would if I was a guy I would. Why? I don't think you guys would. Just because, like, if I have to hit you milk, I'm gonna take a shot of it as well. Just why can you say, I've done that. Why? To do this. Exactly the same. So, I'm the saving grace poly. You know, I mean, get the click by now. Oh no, I've never, I've never. Would you try a tea milk? No. Yeah, you were. No. So many men when they're girlfriend, they like, let me have a little. They're not, no, no, no, no, no. They don't, they don't. They don't, they don't, they don't, they don't, they don't. I don't know any man that there's, they want the mommy milkers. No, that's correct. No, they don't. There's a rugby player. Ah. They'll play rugby. Sure. They'll play rugby and they all play in Wales. That's right. Facts. Right, would you rather sleep with Astrid or Elbrough? Oh. Oh, El I think. Astrid. Which one's Astrid? Astrid's the one that tried to lips case, I got pie. Oh, El. Oh, straight away. Okay, fun. That pie was embarrassing. Yeah, it was humiliating. Yeah, that was actually humiliating. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Would you, what the, sorry, these questions? Walk in on a dog getting fucked by your dad or your dad getting fucked by a dog. Ah. I feel like I... Would... Rather my dad be fucked by a dog. Yeah. No, I think I would as well. I couldn't see that. Because you want to see your dad get on that. No, I can't see that. Don't get me wrong, Ray. I can't see that. Crazy that he's stuck it in himself. Yeah, but he's on all, my pops are on all fours. Take it a moment. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I'm thinking... You can make up a story of how your dad's getting like plow by dog. He could have accidentally hit his seat. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he could have fell over in the dog. After a shower. After a shower. But yeah, your dad had to... Yeah, he'd like to get him there. Like, yeah, yeah, he's got one hand on the collar. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't try to run, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's this one. See, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. He's running the fuck away. That's the worst thing I've ever done. Oh, no, I like it. Yeah, yeah, okay. Okay. Would you rather be rejected on naked attraction for your dick or face? Oh, someone's asked us that before, I think. For your dick. Oh. Because he... They would have to see your dick first, but they see your face. Yeah. I don't know, both of them are a little bit deep though. Yeah, because if you imagine, like, obviously they're like, feet, yes, dick, yes, like chest, yes, face. Yes, face. Wow. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Your butt is getting in the ass. That's really ugly. Wow. Wow, never. I don't... Yeah, but then like... It's all right for men because you could be a grower. So what they see first, like, maybe we can take it to heart. Oh, I'm a bro for sure, bro, especially on stage in a cold studio. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like I'm in a swimming pool first. Yeah. Oh, that's... That's right, that's right, that's right. So probably... I would say dick. Yeah, I would say dick, but depends. I'm like, going out first. In the whole dick lineup, are they saying no to first? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't think they'll live with that. I would have to do... I would have to do dick, though. I'm going to go face with this one. I'm going to go face. Okay. I couldn't be first. Really, I'd get so much... I'd end up... I'd leave the room looking like share. I'd get so much surgery after. If they pide your face. I'd be like... Cool. Yeah. I mean, it would be rough. Yeah. Definitely go dick. Yeah. You reckon? Okay. And as soon as they say, you're out, they can't raise that bitch up and they're like, oh, we'll be realy yourself, and I'm running off. Yeah, we're true. They can't say, yeah, we never know who I am. With the dick, they'll never know who's here. Yeah, I'm running off. Yeah, no, no. My back is just swinging, I'm running off. It takes just clapping around. No way. Just clapping on the way out. There we go. Oh, God. Things I had the vision, it made me feel a bit uncomfortable. Right. This is the last one of the... Which you are, Mrs. So, would you rather eat someone else's sick after a curry, or eat someone's shit after a curry? Wow. These are true. These are actually really good. And what pick your point? Yeah. Because, like, these are fucking... This is disgusting. Sick. I'm... Sick. I was thinking sick as well, because I'm never eating shit. Yeah, shit is... I'm sure I'm never eating shit. Okay. No matter what the circumstances are. Someone... Someone says, cheery-look. If you eat, and it's like a little nugget of shit, I'm not talking wet shit, I'm talking a little nugget. Okay. If you eat this nugget of shit, I will give you five billion pounds. Yeah, obviously I'm doing it. Yeah, that's... You would have sold me... But it's warm, and it's just come out of the restaurant. Grace? For my... Yeah, you're shooting way too high. I was like, what's the point? Billion, like this. For a nugget. Yeah. Okay, what about a million? One million for a nugget. Yeah. I would do it for a meal after I was too low. It is pretty low. I'd do it for like... Realistically. Four mil. You get tetness after you eat the shit. I'd do it for four mil. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you're a good bye-poor boy girl. Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? To be fair? How much for... I've asked you before for the Dubai Donz. I think I said... You probably said something. I said seven figures, all right figures. I said, car number, why I said, I said seven or eight figures. That's right. You were like, 500 kg, like... No, no, no, no, seven figures. To be the... Yeah. Dubai slave for a weekend. Yeah, it would have to be like, ten mil or so on. Ten mil. Yeah, I remember we had this discussion, because I said, I'll take the money and dip. Yeah, you can't. I've never spent the weekend. And did you see the colour of that shit as well? No, I didn't see any... I haven't seen this in a fact. I just heard stories like, It's green custard. Oh, wow. And she... And she chews. Really? I've not seen this stuff. It's like, absolutely disgusting. And they do it for like a hundred grand and stuff, too. See, that's absurd to me. Yeah, it's wild. It's... They needed that hundred grand. Oh. But like, we all need a hundred grand. I was going to be a hundred grand. Yeah, but like, that's crazy. But yeah, that's insane. Yeah. Shit's a different... How different... I think though, once you land in Dubai, anything's... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. You're really breathing it in. Yeah. Once you make it into a palace, you're ready to do what you need to do. It's a palace. Yeah, it facts. Right. I've also got some of people's worst things they've ever done. Okay. All right. And we can just... That's not true. Someone said through my grandma's ashes down the toilet. That's not true. Okay. So... God, you are blind. Look at the screen. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. The phone's closed. Oh! What's the next... What's the numbers? Yeah. Got a stigmatism in this eye. And just some stuff going on with that one. When last year, to... I'm a hundred percent getting cataracts too. I've got an ounce of that. Really? I didn't even... Do you know cataracts is just dirt in your eye? Who's it? They clean out lashes. They suck out. I feel like that's a lie, isn't it? I've seen it on TikTok. Oh, is it? They literally get like a little... Like a sucketing. Like a little... Needle size, little vacuum. And they suck out all this stuff that makes you blind. And then you can see again. And now... When last year, do you get... Your eyes tested? Cool. Literally two months ago. What did they say? Like what they said? Or... They were like to wrap. They say you need that. Yeah, no. They were like... You need some... You need some strong shit for that. I've got contacts, so... Gang? Yeah. Yeah. She's blind, but now she can see. Right, so... Chucks, my own poo out of my ex is bar from window, because it wouldn't flush. I've heard so many people do this. I've never heard anyone do this. I've never done that. Just to put out the window, because it wouldn't flush. Yeah, I'm not going to lie. If I'm at a boy's house, right? First of all, it's bold to do a shit. Yeah. Like you have to need that shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Fact. But if it doesn't flush, you can't leave that bar from... If there's family next door, right? You can't keep flushing. They know now. Yeah. You've done a fact shit. It's not flushing. You have to throw that out the window. Yeah. That hurt, come here. Yeah. It's just like that. I mean, yeah. Bro, wow. Wow. The muscles are pretty... Yeah. Yeah. You saw it in it. You have to throw that out the window. Nothing out the window. I was giving it a smush in it. You smushed it. I'm flushing. I'm flushing. You're gonna keep flushing. You're gonna keep flushing. I'm gonna keep flushing. I'm gonna keep flushing. I'm gonna keep flushing. I'm not carrying my shit, I'm throwing out the window. I'm not picking anything out of the toilet. I'm not picking anything out of the toilet. Come on. I'm flushing out of the screen. And then you've got like, shit, you water like... Yeah, everywhere. Now I'm flushing out of the window. No, no, no, no. I'm getting the ting and the plunger. Yeah. Smush and it's not. What if they don't have a plunger? I'm gonna keep flushing. I'm probably see on my keep flushing until it's hot. How are we getting it out? Bear hands. I'm assuming so. I'm not getting it out of period. I'm telling you. I don't care if there's a queue outside the way. I don't care. I'll face the consequences. I'll probably show you. We've actually been crisis and you're using that much water. Oh my god. And for that sometimes you have to think what is beneficial here. Oh, that's the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to me. Was that a hit thing? Do you remember? What shit thing? The shit on the bath map, bro. Oh yeah, we've got a video about that. Oh, I forgot about that. Oh, I forgot about that. It's all the story. Okay, cool. So. You said it now. So yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow, I forgot about this. There was one time I was like a girl. This one was like 16. There was one time I was at a girl's house that I was seeing. And I had to shit about 16. I was I had to shit. So I went to a, like my stomach was killing me. I went to a toilet and I was like, right, we're gonna buy this out quick. Like a piss period situation. So I went and I realized that I hadn't locked the door. So I'm like on the toilet and I'm staring at the door thinking, well, I'm obviously not gonna lock it now. And then I started panicking and thinking, I have to lock it. But like I'm crowning. So like I can't really lock it. But then like the anxiety got too much. So I was like, all right, cool, I'm gonna lock it. So I've like, no, kind of just quickly like drop, like jump up, locked it and then gone. And then gone. And then scurry back to the toilet. And as I've gone back to the toilet, there is like three nuggets of shit on the five. Why is there three? I don't know. That's just bad. I was a little bit fiver that day. One I get. Bro, your task was like this. Literally dropping. As he's rolled, it was dropping. The fucking mandolin. That is. Did you pick it up? Did he fuck? Bro, yeah, no, no. I did. I picked it up with, I rolled it, wrapped it in tissue. And then just like plunked and back in the toilet. But then each left like stains. So then I had to get all they had was bleach. So then I'm trying to like, I'm pouring bleach on the bath mat to like scrub it out. And now there's three bright white yellowy patches on this bath mat. Oh, fuck off. It was on the mat. It was on the mat. For the mat. Oh, bro, I saw it there. You had to have the bath on the mat. Yeah, I was like, fuck. So to this day, I think that was actually the last time I ever saw that girl as well. That would be last time I see her too. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's not me, it's you. Yeah, 100%. No, it's not you, it's me. Right, this one's horrific. I recorded myself pouring and put it on Instagram and captioned it. This is my poo face when I was nine. What? That's crazy. What's the fact that you recorded yourself shitting? Why? People do not stuff. Why? I mean, maybe, I think the recording bit's not the weird bit. Fine, maybe you want to see what you look like while you're shitting. Like, haha, but like putting it on Instagram is different. But then again, back in the day, Instagram wasn't serious. Wild West. Instagram was wild west back in the day. I remember. If it had a bit of a seepia tone to it. One of the first Instagram posts, this is when Instagram was brand new. One of the first pictures I ever put up was this is actually dread. Because I didn't even realize this is how I'm actually thinking about it. This was an electric and one of the girls in front of us had back knee. Oh yeah. Crazy back knee. Okay, okay. And I'm talking like yellow right one. I'll be right back. Crazy back knee. Not back knee. And then back knee. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But this was wild. Like some of them was screaming to be parked. Okay, I'd like that. Like, oh my god, literally I was like, fuck. I just want to. I'm into it. Yeah, yeah, it's Jesus. Oh, good. And I remember I took a picture of it and put it on Instagram. You never. I did shut the fuck up. I literally took a picture of it. I had like seven followers. You know what? I just put it on there. And put it in everything. You're evil. I'm not. I didn't even think about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, fair enough. Oh, it's actually mad. I just posted it like this. I was posted like this. She saw that though. She'd be like, cool. She'd be like, wow, you hate me. I would just say it's not your back. Hey, bring it back. Bring it back. It's your back. Before you chat to me, your back knee. Bring it back. That's exactly what I'd say. You she can't see her in back. How are we going to solve this? She knows what that back looks like. How are we going to solve this? We can't sleep through it. Oh, that would be really satisfying that I can sleep knowing I could just pop that. Yeah, I'll just assess of it. I was obsessed with it. Made you all need that. That's jokes. Right. I, wait, I was having a set of a guy bent over. He tried to shove it in my ass. I jumped back and said no. I must have tore his banjo and there was blood everywhere. And it wouldn't stop. He had to get circumcised. Do you ever snap your banjo? No, this is a common thing. How common is this? Oh, you're fine. So do you not have a banjo? I never know. I don't understand what to do with a psych-sized penis. What do you mean? How do you toss off a circumcised penis? Because you use the foreskin to toss it off. Back, bro. I've asked this bear times. I don't really understand how you just just say motion. No, but what if I, what moisture do I... Okay. What? Is that, but that's the standard. No one's ever gone in dry. What? No. What like a tug? Yeah. I hate handjumps anyway. Yeah, no, no, no. I don't want a solo team is just a handjob. Fuck off. I don't know what I mean. But, yeah, just a little... Oh, what was that? Oh, I don't know if I have that much saliva in my mouth though. Like, because you're like, I need a lot. You've got to find some. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, but I've asked you this like nine times, I'm sure. Yeah. I'm used to it. What do they do, bro? They spit, bro. Every single time. Yeah. No one's ever gone in dry hand. I've done that before. Really. Yeah, I know. That's fascinating to me. Oh, they... They know the game. You're picking winners. Yeah. You're picking winners, bro. You really are. They've been around Dix as well. They know what they're doing in it. I don't know what to tell you, bro. They've been around Dix. Fair enough. Okay. Someone had 18 wanks in one day. Wow, that's impossible. That's impossible. I think I've done like five. I was gonna say five six. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was right. I was destroyed. Have you heard of it? I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. Have you played? Yeah. Is this normal? Yeah. You see how many you see. Yeah. Yeah. I do time. I need to leave the house. Yeah. This is when you're a teenager. I don't think you're gonna stand with it. You clearly don't. You don't. Right. Right. Okay. Fine. The poor accessibility was well back. It was just... It was different. It was different. Okay. Fine. Have you done this? Shat myself while driving. No. I was like, oh, fuck. And he said he had a dodgy career, sat him. Damn. I need to borrow. He pulled up to my mum's and his girlfriend got out the car. She was like, oh, he shit himself. Wait, his girl said to your mum. His girl said to me. I was at my mum's house. His girl came out. She's pissed at herself. And I was like, what's so funny? She's like, oh, Lord shit himself. And I was thinking, oh, like something happened. Yeah. He's scared. Yeah. Yeah. He bumped a car. I was. I'm big bro. I was like, what's happened here? And he was like, I don't want to talk about it. He walked past me and Dan is jeans, soaking at the back. Soking where? Cheese. No. Bro. Bro. That is disgusting. Why, you're. Why you have so three? He soaked it through. He spent the next 72 hours in his bedroom. He was done. It's the fact that his girlfriend laughed as well. Yeah, yeah. She was out of it. Are they still together? No, no, no, no, no. No, because I know he's now known as the ex that shot himself. Yeah. I need to put that in 100%. That's awful. I couldn't believe it was that level of information. Oh, facts. You have to marry your daughter. You've won it at two. You won it at two. I can't let that mouth leave it. That's disgraceful. That's so. That's. Jeans, bro. Butter's bro, blue jeans. The seat was the, no. No, no, no, no. The whole car was destroyed. You had to, you'd have to burn it. You can't take that to the course. That's no for bringing it to the bathroom. He had this fabric seat. Yeah. That's the fabric seat. Yeah. That's the fabric seat. Yeah. That's the fabric seat. Yeah, that's the fabric seat as well. No, no, no, no, no, no. It was tough. That's the same thing. I would have pulled over and shot somewhere. Bro, he, because he, no, he actually, when he shot himself, he shot himself at a service stop, but he just didn't make it. Oh, because he was in the car. I'm sorry. I've never been in that position where I could, I have needed a Pope. I have never needed a shit to the point where I've shot myself. Oh, you've never had a real physical name. Maybe I've shot it once, but shit myself. Never. I've had never shit myself. There's one time I had food poisoning. Oh, okay. Yeah. Boy, I was at work and this one I was PT in. And in between sessions, I would be like, okay, cool. We're going to do 12 reps of such and such. And then they'll be like, all right, cool. And I would sprint to the toilet. I promise you. Shorts down. And you'll be pissing out of your office. Yeah. You just be pissing. Yeah. That, that was wild. And I remember that one. I'll take it off. Take the dial. Oh, no, no, no, no, I couldn't. These are the owners of that work for the savage. Yeah, they were like coming on your set. So I literally was in between sets just pissing out of my ass. Wow. It was crazy. And I remember thinking, this is how people in Uganda die. You ever heard when they're like, Tyria kills people? And that's impossible. Bro. Bro. I was like, this is how they die. Because I can't just hit you to one swig of water. It was coming straight out. This is how people in Uganda die. I can't believe that just came out of your mouth. Bro. I said, it's good. In Africa, bro. People die in diarrhea every day. I'm even bleeding. Yeah. Some of your one-liders, bro. Right. They sweep me so much. I used to float as a dill dye. What? Float. I wonder if it whistled. If you quived, it would whistle. That's a good fact. I feel like. I feel like. Yeah. I feel like. Yeah. People at school used to toothbrush, then it went round. No. Then it went round. No, I mean, as in the video it went round. Oh. Not everyone's aching. I was aching. Bro. You can go too. So I can't go too. Yeah. Bro. No, there's always one that uses like rogue shit, though. My I feel like my school was tame, man. Really? I was here stories about like one video from a girl in your 9 fingering herself like, I never saw anything. I never saw nothing the police were just in and out of our school for like under eight four. Yeah, they were like again for under age because obviously you're like What are you like 14? Yeah, and they're be they've been sending around videos of girls like Send the police after coming which is even more embarrassing. He's crazy. You've got officers looking at you for Joanna That's that's yeah, that's wild. It's I don't even think anyone would hear so a nipple. Yeah, that's crazy I can't speak on that. Yeah, yeah, we had police officers in for PE teachers and stuff though. Oh always always There's always a PE teacher always Bro It's nice Wow, this is our last one. I farted in my boyfriend's face while in doggy and then passed out How would you Because it's not gonna be in your face I think each like bounce I'm saying I think Vibrio never no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, we've had like a couple I've had a couplequeous situations But like no, like a long like a long one you know, he tried just power through it Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's going you like okay, we got we have to talk about it Yeah, I've had long queues as well, but I don't really want to like talk about specifics because just I don't think this is the Post-it or space for it But yeah when you spread cheeks and he just that I'd be mortified though to pass out that Passing to make your name kids your name, but I think she faked it. I would Out 100% I think she Passing out is worse than The person I was worse than the father is concerned for you Fight it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, 100% You just held a breath of something 100% what do you mean you're fighting in person? Oh it makes sense You need to be Every day you fight every day, so you say you you potentially pass Smart move Because I bet out No choice T-Part Each guest leaves some tea anonymous tea in it and we talk about it. Oh, okay cool. I'm gonna try and find a good one I fucked Kate Moss in a lift Nice do you know who that is? Yeah, yeah in Tokyo Never happen now though Surely that would never Okay now, so I feel like Kate Moss, Kate Moss now I'll be talking to she not yeah, how long he's older to be fair. How it was a while ago Yeah, yeah, probably when they were both in the Peng How many floors are you going up? Because in some of them that would be in out true. Yeah, there would be no I don't remember I'm gone. I don't know. I was in a lift. I was long enough for a bang even like a puppy Yeah, yeah, I Wouldn't even be hot Get up and I don't think yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I would have time for it. That's too much pressure Yeah, wait You know when they press the emergency stop and movies and show the balls to do stuff like that Yeah, I don't pray balls because I think it's never gonna start working again We're just talking between four and five yeah Yeah, and some of them have CCTV. Yeah, yeah, I'm pretty sure most of them you CCTV really yeah, they just see me in the mirror They're playing at some bar I say okay. I like to end the pods with What advice would you give to save grace can be any advice? Laser high surgery cool Right To be fair I mirror that Your eyes out because you're the phone was here. You're yeah, we're off never seen I have no shame like when I'm on the train and shit. I'm still like madness. Yeah, that's crazy Yeah, I would pattern those eyes Okay, because then this whole all your fears about like tripping over and getting hit by cars like You're gonna realize I'm reality yeah, yeah, okay, so just sort my shit out. Yeah, okay fine. Yeah, you've been great Go and have a listen to shit some gigs And then mine after Like if you've been watching like and subscribe and if you've been listening give it a five star review and A follow don't know why I forgot that anyway. Bye. I