Mon, 14 Nov 2022 15:00
Cheers to Rhondson at XFMRadio on YouTube for compiling all the DATs (that's digital audio tapes) of unheard clips. Find the original video at youtu.be/bFjaJLSmUV8
Timestamps: 0:00 S1E16
55:33 Christmas Eve on BBC Radio 2
56:02 New Year's Eve on BBC Radio 2
1:01:00 NME Test Broadcast
It was me, but it's bad repeating now. I'm white stripes. Phone number the girl, one XFM104.9. Well, it's five past one of a Saturday. That's true enough. So, it's the Ricky DeVay show with me Steve met. Oh, yeah. Now, Karl Pylke didn't say his name. Karl Pylke didn't. OK, I was just getting a little bit annoying because they're writing up now and heating the scene. I know, the scene is still hot. I mean, it's sort of like it's the Karl Pylke didn't show with Ricky and Steve, so let's, you know. Has he won multiple awards? Yeah, it has not. Exactly. Is he one of the hottest comedy faces on TV? I don't think so. No, no. Does he eat too much? Yeah, he eats things, I think. Does he eat bloated old fat for you? Oh, I don't think he's stupid fat for a dog-alied for it. Oh, you'll be happy. The worst was a little bit of a comeback. No, listen, right? There's a sign to his advert and they sing a song. It's the worst or singing a song of that something. A phone in. What's the number, Karl? Oh, wait, 700, 800, 1, 2, 3, 4. Phone in, if you know what I'm talking about. Just in general. Yeah. And if that's a new competition, it goes on. Can we just repeat that number every 30 seconds? People can just explain what the last link would have been. Phone in, if you know what we're talking about. Yeah. Phone in, if you care what we're talking about. So what's the worst or story? What's the deal? No, I just thought of you, because they, and it's a song that is a modern song I think I've done. And I can't know what the song is, but maybe, since what you mean it's them doing a modern hit in the start. But it's just an advert. It's just an advert. I think it's the Worsals. I thought of something as well. You know that I drove my tractor past your A stack last night. I'm not that familiar with the pricing. What sort of person lives in a haystack? Maybe they don't live in it. Maybe just saying that's your haystack. Well, yes, they're probably a farm owner. But the problem with the world is, it's like, you know, if you come from the West country, you're just constantly cursed by this. You must love the world. So do you like the words? Who are? And it's like, you know, but they're like, Why do you do your hair and your sideburns like them? If you don't like them. Well, you know, smocks are very comfortable, Rick. But you know, I don't want to be kind of, you know, tight. I mean, there's lots of famous things that come from Bristol. Obviously, you know, tricky and massive attack and port said from the area of port said. Yeah. No one seems to flag them up every time they want to slag off the West country. Do you still make your own clogs? Yes, I do. That's fantastic. You used to knit your trousers, didn't you, when you used to go? Why was that? Because it's just like cheap material. What? It's a straw-ish cheap thing there. But we got a great show lined up for you, have we? Yeah, I was bluffing, I don't know. Rick, you know, we sometimes worry about the record library here at XFM because we tend to go in and try and find something, you know, it'll be like a... Oh, God, I'm so sorry. Because he gets sick Monday morning. But it's very hard to find anything out of these things. I think most of it's been nicked by people at Sturgis. So, otherwise, it's just bad. I don't know who he is that's buying the series. What was fall on Blond's big single? Exactly. Oh, yeah. Some of that. Yeah. Excellent. Tonight, Matthew, I'm going to be fall on Blond's point. Oh! Wow, good effort. Yeah, I don't think you'll be returning to the fish factory on Monday. Will you, Steve? No. Yeah, you will. You will. But anyway, so we've got it. Yeah, fall on Blond's, we've had a lot of in excess, like they're on the XFM record library. Guess what I found today, Rick. Go on. The very best of Tony Bazel. Oh, there's one track there. Well, yeah, her hit was Mickey, obviously. Oh, Mickey, you're so fine. Yeah. They've managed to pack out 18 tracks. First tracks, Mickey, number of other tracks. Track number 17, Mickey, Spanish version. Right. Track 18, Mickey 12-inch version. And then the track track 19. Dicky. Yeah, similar tune. Exactly. But I'm not a completely different person altogether. Look at this. They've stuck a proud property of XFM sticker on that. The best of Tony Bazel. Even Sturgis wouldn't nick that. Come on, Carl, what's the story? It was good in its day, wasn't it? Why is it in the XFM library? I'm not even thinking about Adam and the Anz in the day. It's important, money. I remember that being out in the charts. It was all right. Yes, I know, but it's meant to be fun. Fine, let's play some strokes, then. Let's play Mickey, then. If you're so happy about this car, should we play Mickey? Yeah. The Spanish version. We've called you black. Oh, yeah. No. Oh, then if you know what he just said. Rick, I believe it's generally acknowledged now that I broke Princess superstar. Sure. She's since had successful single in album. I'm trying to do the same here with Nerd. In search office, the name of the album, released on April the 8th, or should I say re-release. Some of us had it. A wild battery. You may recall. They've obviously worked as hip hop remixes and producers with Jay-Z, with PDD, with Kalease, ODB. Kalease features on the album. That was called Things Are Getting Better, and it's Dynamite. It's worth getting. I've been trying to break Bob Dylan and Avaline. We can get ahead in all those. Yep. How are you getting on? All right. It takes. Bread. I'm making it with you. Great track. It is a good track. You can't argue with that. I think Bread defies slightly my test, don't they? The lead general, please welcome to the stage. Because Bread is a pretty awful name, and yet obviously they were very successful. Oh, they're pretty big. I think they are. Yeah. You're not confusing with the sitcom. I'm afraid I'll forgive you. I always associate the two, and that's never a good thing. Yeah. The game's getting ad. Because someone was dealing with losing card. Is that recorded by Bread? I think so. The cast of yeah. I think so. Right. When it. So I don't think he's gone. Yeah, I think about that. Yeah. God of bread. Dude, dude, dude. To bread. I think he's facing lighted up. Did you like bread? You tell him in A Stop, Feed, it's not interesting. You've seen the theory of to bread. Yeah, that little manks like the Scally sort of scouts. Do you have a little way, is it? No, no, I don't like the Scouts. Why not? Why can't they live together? Why can't they all live together? I've tried, and then I went to, um, where's that place? I've placed the fly as the size of, you can't get me the matchbox. Ha ha ha ha ha. Well most news agents don't put flies in matchboxes. I mean, what do you mean you can't get them matchbox? Do you mean by a, to back in this? No, no, no, no. I remember being there and thinking, God, the fly is a big ear. What, what? I can't remember, but anyway, there was a scout bloke there. What a country or? Yeah, abroad. Right, okay. Fly as a massive. And there was a scout bloke there. And I was quite absolute like things, you know. We don't get on, but it's like, I'm on all. I do, we're in the same town. Let's get on. Yeah, can't stand me. Name was Alan. I think he lives in London now. Come be doing with him. What did he do with the... He just was like, oh, but you're like, man, you're nighted. And it's like, well, yeah. And he's like, I, the rubbish and going on about, my town's dark. It's like, when did you go? If it was the winter, it would have been. Yeah. Is it idiot? Ha ha ha. I'll take you to the office. I've never seen Carl like this. He's annoyed there. I'd say Alan, Alan, if you're listening, you really well, Carl. You do not want to get on the wrong side, though. I really want to take him up. Anyway, that's pretty much it, isn't it? For this week's class, the one that is indeed. Do you want to watch your... Yeah, something like this week, taking on from your bread, really. Same kind of loaf, you know, acoustics kind of sound. It's, uh, Keyes of Convenience, toxic girl, beautiful track. Just got time for this. Bye-bye. See you next time. Yeah. From the album Insert Show, that's Nerd, and the track is Bobby J. Love it, it's... DIV. DIV. There goes the fear on XFM104.9. Now, Steve, I know you're keen for to play the new M&M single. Absolutely. Can I... I want to play you some adverts first, though, because I just think you should hear about these products and just consider... Oh, keen to buy lots of bit-curt. And what's the benefit? Buy some of these things, and we'll play M&M straight after. OK, all right, yeah. DIV. DIV. DIV. Lily White, by Cat Stevens, off Mona Bohn Jack on album. Er... I... I's lovely, but I'd rather have some more ads now. I'd rather have some commercials, man. Can we have some of that? And coming up after that, we'll explain how you can win this celebrity-endorced bag. Also, White Van Carl, and some more chat. Ha-ha, lovely. BANG. BANG. BANG. Black Star, by Radiohead, off the bends, with my favourite. We're going to be playing lots of our favourite tracks, aren't we? Also, I've put together some of my favourite favourites. I'd like to play that all city show, the BT advert, something about low-transport, and what else have you got in there? A blockbuster? Have you got a blockbusters? I'd love to do that. Let's get that together. BANG. BANG. Tom McCray, End of the World News. Yeah, I love that one. I hope you enjoy the music. We're loving it, aren't we? Indeed. Still to come, we've got another entry to Room 101, Cars Fine Entry, and then that giveaway, the famous giveaway, with Enhanced Cars Live. Can I have an advert today first, Carl? Oh, I'd like to have an advert. Let's do that one. Flaming lips. That's the Pinot look track this week, Rick. Yeah, so we've got you off now. Yeah. I'm sure there'll be more high jinks and great conversation next week. I can't wait. In an effort to persuade people that Bruce Springstin really isn't the laughable rock a lot of people think he is. We play one at the beginning of the show, it was cracking. This is what I'd like to leave you. We're the song for the ladies. Start this on the edge of town from the amazing album of the same name. Springstin. See you next week. Bye. Aquilon XFL, 149. You've been listening to Rickage of Eyes. Well, we're still with you. Wow, just let's get on. We're not doing that together again. It's rubbish. It's not cryptic. It's what I'm thinking. It's there's not a cryptic clue. That was a silly foot. So you've got it right. Yeah, but with all the clothes, it's like, it said it's definitely the type you're wearing. Yeah, anyway, he's feeling sorry for it. Well, that's sympathy. It's not a cryptic clue. We're not doing it again. It's rubbish. You brought the whole tone down. We started off with a nice taking the mic out of fat people. We went on to gluttony records and people being killed by justics. It was going really well. Yeah, and you've been holding it down with a stupid competition. Give away. That took me ages to make that video. Sorry, Carb. I agree with Rick. It's not happening. See you next week. Do you want to come up with a new one for next week? Could do. Come up with a different competition. Just in the Simon Mayo in the week. And see if you've got any ideas. A little ad-zette exechem. Has anyone made a follow-up? Advertisement. Oh! Rocking. Car what have you done? Sunday. A date for divine inspiration. Your wardrobes in need of a complete overhaul. Kansas. Carry on your wayward son. Oh, I'm very hot chillies there. Oh, yeah, indeed. There's a song, Ray Lachili, as an exechem. One in 4.9 on Ricky Gervais with me, Steven Merchant, and all that. A little Karl Pilkington. Indeed. See the right-up in heat this week? No, is it good stuff? Uh, basically Karl's show. Yes. Which he's fair enough. No, I mean, he's the only one doing anyway. He's in a country day. We thought no one had noticed. But he might eat or on it straight away. Yeah. They picked out. I read it to him over the phone. It said two hours of music and everything like. And Karl Pilkington, he does educating Ricky, where a strand where he educates Ricky. And rock busters, which is loosely based on block busters, says, you know, basically you'll be tuning in for that. And I read that to Karl and he went, oh, and I was going to drop it. You were. I don't believe the hype. He believes the hype. Yeah, I think you've got a minute slide. You've got to make some. You've got to make some. A lot of people are saying to you at the moment, you're going to do another series of the office. It's kind of like that. I've got to decide. Well, that was right. I should be on that. Or do something different. He's dead in the water. Yeah. So what's your decision? I mean, maybe you could. Well, probably keep it for this week. Sure. And see how it goes. Okay. You've got anything else on the back burner any other way, does? Nothing. You were in the middle. I was going to play the game with the load of game. I was one that was based on fast food. There was a, yeah, the, the, the, the rice is right. The rice is right. No, just run the rules. Pat me again. We had to identify whether it was a Chinese rice or steam rice. Well, it was a Chinese restaurant or an Indian restaurant. But is it true that you played this at home with your girlfriend and it was clear you could always tell which was which. Because one had an Indian saying. I think that there was Chinese saying. No, I'm honest. It did work once. I managed to pick some sort of duck dish. Yeah. Sounded a bit Indian. Right. But then it wasn't for the. What made that was it? Which is that actually a piece of fish. You don't know. You don't know. He wouldn't let me put, you know that whipped cream in the fridge. I saw that. I thought that was fun. He wouldn't let me put it on him. He was shaving for. Yeah, but every week we have this. Do you know the other week, Steve? I didn't tell you this, right? He comes in straight away. You know, I'm trying to talk about what I'm going to do. Are we going to keep it good for two hours and that? Grub's a penny. He says, let me draw six, six, six on your head. Because you can see the scout. No, I said, don't do that. He goes, all right. Then how about we meet halfway, put three, three, three? Every week it's the same thing. But I quite like the cream. Did you get any cream on them at all? No. Is it a spray cream in a tree? Yeah, he said no. Can I just make some, like just spray glasses? Oh, well, I'm just going to do that. Just spray glasses on your face. Oh, well, well, well. Father Christmas! Hello! Hello! Come on, it is Ricky Gervais's show. Yeah. So you play record and then come back to this Mayhem. It's a crazy Mayhem. Yeah. Oh, I'm sorry about that. Is it skipping? It's skipping all over, place. Embarrassed. That's Papa Garcia. Natalie Nussie released. This week, but the CDs all scratched. I can only apologise. Carl's a little bit disappointed. And the thing is, you know what? I know it's me about that. It's something that's not in our control. That's real in the show. Yeah. Because the show is so slick. And you know what I mean? We put a lot of work into this. Not a effort. Sure. And then just a little bit of dust. Oh, I know. I frustrated you, because you are a perfectionist. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then that is excellent. It's excellent. Rhymes. Ms. Jackson. Xfm104.9. Neatermand Vets. Now. It's excellent. Bronze H Fox. Sunshine May the Desert. I've enjoyed that. I love the ending. That's really great. I love that chorus, but it's really good. Rick, I know what you're thinking of. Well, you'd love someone, wouldn't you? Yeah, I'd love it. It's excellent. Dabs. Caught by the river. People are going to think you're thick, Carl. Well, they can think only one, because if they do their own research, they'll probably find the story. Because they won't have happened many times. But Carl, think about it. I mean, how could an old woman have a pork chop structure asked for five years? No, she said she couldn't remember even making one. So she was as surprised as the doctors were. But hold on, though, she presumably must have sat on it naked. Did not, didn't that bring back any memories? Yeah, that's weird. But. Carl. Carl. But why would it stay there? Why wouldn't it fall off when she went about for a short break? What about a bath? But why didn't the doctor realise that when he first looked at it? Was he not paying attention when he said, I think he's a cheater? Carl, listen, think about it. A pork chop stuck to your ass for five years. You're naked, you sit on a pork chop, you go, nothing. You know, nothing weird about that. I can't fear anything. Even if you had a dead leg the time you sat pork chop, what else you got dressed? Well, she might have not done that that much. She's old, she probably just sat down and didn't move for a bit. And over time, it's stalking and the day... What do you mean over time, it's stuck? Do you think the bone was something there, the more it stays there? Look, I know it's... That's why a pork chop goes, well, we've been here a year. I'm not going to move now. I don't think we're going to move now, but I'm quite attached to this butter. I think I stay here for another four years until some doctor works it out. They got her into hospital, they gave her the bed first, they got her ready for the operation, they ate her out. They were just trying to take the scissors or the knife, make the incision, hang on a minute. This is a pork chop. This is a pork chop. Right, well, if you're happy with it, then I'm happy with it. Fine. That happened then. So did the shaved monkey who got off with a wife? Fine. Rock busters, then, we've got a problem with the email this week. So they see my problem, then? They're not coming through, so I'll give out the clues again, and then you can call in on 08700-1214-3. I'll be calling it 08700-3, you can write them off. We'll do it during the next record, so the number is... 08700-800-1234. 08700-800-1234. Right, okay, so you've got that. I'm calling it 08700-1234. I'm calling it 08700-1234. Yeah, the three just to recap. I've got three other jumpers like this one, the initials FT. That bunch of people can't make up the minds if they want to sit in the sun or not. That's C, and the Jamaican fellow adds some aspirin. Why did they do that? That's FD. So if you know them, give us a call, and it's just the first with the three... Wow, well, that's an echo in now, Carl. So play a lovely record and take some phone calls, and let's get this... You want to throw this whole blue-loo track? Oh, yeah, don't laugh when you hear blue-loo, because this is the Managed Soul of the Wars by David Bowie. It's a good version. Written by Bob Dylan, of course, the mighty queen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the man for the man. Totally true. You will not see nothing like the mighty queen. Nothing, man. Springsteen, I've got the rising album, or...adverts. X-A-Lan. Jesse Malin, song called Brooklyn. Coming up, some monkey business, indeed. Ryan Adams, I can't get enough of him now, Steve. He's brilliant, isn't he? I've just been buying up everything. I love him, and that was answering about coming up after the ads and that. How I see some that, brilliant. X-A-Lan. Richard Astroff, the biting bottles, and X-Felm 104.9. Well, you might not have Karl, but I think we've got a few ads, haven't we? He's brilliant. We've got quite a few. He's miserable now. Would you share a toilet with Marisi? For Managed, do you ever talk about one here? No, no, no. We've had an email, Rick, from Jim, and he's just simply said, what about a separate cubicle for bold mancunions? Wow, makes a lot of sense. Yeah. You just have your own toys. Strokes, someday. Do you malign if you've got any of these? Because most people have only got three out of the five. Only one person's got four, and they haven't got the second bit. The this, of theirs, this area trying to kill their wreck, and if you've got that, I realise that I've only got four, I've got that one wrong, so that's the one to get. All right? Bigger than that. Small faces all the time, finishing this week's edition of The Show. Is that because Carl would love to see fix the people with small faces? He'd love anything, would it? Anything. For whom? I'll tell you what, go to the basement of Waterstones or foils. Go down to the books with, you know, sort of congenitally honesties. You'll see some brilliant pictures, I'll tell you. Hot tip of the day there. I'll put it in the box. Is it a move saying this after? Excellent. As it come to this, could I just extend Rick, my apologies, and now to both the Chinese community and any Welsh people listening? Yeah. I'm sure that list will increase as the show goes on. Excellent. You think we're just emailing, that's called Wendy. Excellent. Basically, they then go on to give shoutouts to lots of players. Yeah, sweet. So, we'll end it there. That was Rappen Fattay and the song Players Club from 1994, still saying it's brilliant. It's still hip-hopperty, though, isn't it? It is indeed, Rick. Let's have some adverts. Thanks a lot. Back together. Little Baby Bird. On XFM1 and 4.9, Jive's merchant, Pilkinton. Jive's your cancerous. Yes, I do. I've really changed my view. I used to dismiss these out of how these are bang on about you. They may have remarkable teeth, perhaps prominent, irregular or in some way unusual. They've got quite strange teeth. Who doesn't know when they're English? Even if slim, may appear broad or plump. Maybe plumb or tend to put on weight very easily. Correct. Bavron Prisonality traits. Loves to lose weight. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. Bavron Prisonality traits. Loves delicious food and drinks, but almost always dribbles even when perched baby food. How specific is that to end? It's true of you, though. I know why that is. You know what I mean? You know what I mean? Because I was born in a certain time of year. And that's what happens. I tend to dribble. Yeah. Well, no, that is fair enough. I think it starts to fall apart, though. Why? It says, intelligent handsome. No, no, no, it just says, takes work seriously. And does not like frivolity. I mean, a man who spends most of his time squeezing people's heads and struggling them to the floor. Yeah, man, it's not fair. I did squeeze his head. I did squeeze his head many, many times. Well, though it does say that you, it says about your loves and your loves and hates your likes and dislikes. You apparently like anyone who loves his or her mother. It's so specific. That's brilliant. What do they go? I have some vibrats. Please. Excellent. That's for you, Carl, because you're going all day. Do like to be besides Seven Seas arrive by Queen. Rick, we've had an email from number one fan, Richard Anderson. Oh, I'm overfinning it. I have read it. He's loving it, isn't he? What does he say? Well, well, well, well, well. Well, well, well, well, well. He likes it. He's from Richard Anderson. It pains me to admit it, but your show is no longer appalling. Go on. Congratulations on being only slightly rubbed. Excellent. Hey, we're winning him right. Yeah. I think we're going to love that. I know what he's a big fellow. Well, I'd love us. Yeah. Excellent. Neil Young, man needs a maid. What a great track, man. What are we going to listen? We've got some ads against it. Don't worry about that. Oh, no. After that, though, the brand new single from Radio Ed. Okay. I'm excited. I'm excited. I'm excited. I'm sure it's wonderful. I haven't heard it yet, but. Wow. I'm not going to put it on the mic. I'm not going to put it on the mic. Yeah. And we've got tickets to give away to a new Spike Lee film, which is we've both seen 25th hour. That's good. Which is great. So, you know, look forward to that. Yeah. I thought climbing plus I would imagine a bit more chitchat. Chattens of the great records. Happy each time. Yeah. Happy AXM now. Welcome, part of the world. The lead role. Hey. Oh, wow. That's it. That's emergency embarrassment. Not mind you bought that any. You want to play a little bit of pink Floyd? I went, well, yeah, it's a great track. It's a great track when it plays all the way through. It is playing all the way through. Is that a bootleg? Well, it is playing now, but, you know, do you want to run the risk? Stick with it. What's a great song? Okay. We'll get back to you. Toast. To bean Floyd. Happy Easter. Forget about tomorrow. Feeda on XFM104.90. Evader response from Dickie Anderson. Dickie Anderson, our number one fan, although not a man who's, you know, he's not afraid to criticize constructively. Yeah. And he's simply emailed in, sure your show is bad enough without bringing back rock busters. A valid point. Pretty in pink. Psychedelic furs on XFM104.9. And we're going to make it to race with Steve Merchant and our little pet monkey, Karl Pilkinton. It's Karl. So, 20 quid, 10 a.m. Steve will pay good money. Well, we'll see you all right. I reckon that even Andrew Phillips, the head of XFM, would probably give you an extra 20 quid if this is entertainers. I think it will be to the listening public. Do you take undo my shoes? Steve is going, Karl's now just gently undoing the legs. He's releasing the tongue of the shoe. Don't preempt anything. So come ring then, Karl. He's gently pulling down the slug. You just said you do it. Oh, come on. You said you do it for any reason. You said you do it. Oh, so you worked me up like that. And then you just come on. You'll have a shoe and socks off and pull it down to pull the sock down slowly and go, what lovely ankles. So, we had that check yesterday. Come on, Karl. You just said you do it. Yeah, but I don't really need, if it was more money, I might do it. Oh, that is typical. Okay, firstly, we had a little wage on the Sony's and you owe me 10 pounds. So, my 10 pounds is a lot of that. Exactly. So, that's my 10 pounds. So, you already owe me that anyway. So, I'm demanding that instead of giving me the cash, you do this. Yeah, and I'll give you 10 quid just because I've got a bad back and I need someone to help me take my shoe and sock off. Because I think I've got in that airplane thing on my feet, swallowing up. Yeah. You've been auditioning people for that job only all week. Come on. No, Aronic passed shoes on last night, right? Because I knew you were going to do this. Yeah. And I said, would you be an id if I, you know, I know we need a new kitchen and that. Yeah. What can I leave it? And she said, it's up to you. You do what you want to do. But I'm not interested in what shoes I'm thinking. Yeah, I don't know. Karl, you just said that you would do it for 20 pounds. We are offering you 20 pounds. I mean, I assume you'd take that off as a mate if I twist to be an ankle playing football and I was, I was, I was back. I'll go take my shoe and sock off and you go, yeah, no worries mate. I assume you do that for a mate, do it with her as ankle. Yeah, but it's not the toy, yeah. Toia bound Wayne Sleep's foot when he was bouncing on his bed and hurt his ankle. She didn't expect money from it. She didn't want Sleep to pay out money. The singer of mystery does not need Wayne Sleep. Probably our greatest dancer since Lionel Blair to pay money to help his ankle out. I thought we were mates. It seems to me that you've already lost us a Sony this week. The very least you could do is bend down there. Take your shirt off. Move on. No, come on Karl, seriously. It's gone up to do this. Take the shirt off. I'm not doing it. I just think it's too. Karl, why not? I'm so angry. Yeah, because you said you would. You've waged on the thousand pounds, showering with Johnny. Don't even know about this. So Johnny's probably lost out on money. I suppose you'd split them up with him for having the shower with you to get you the money in the first place. So the problem is this, Karl. People now are listening expecting to hear this. That's what we did when awards. Because you'd never go through with it. You've promised them something and you're not going through with it. Play record. You're just like all the girls I speak to. That's across the great divide from the band. Rick, I bought a little treat for myself today. I've been meaning to buy these ever since I moved to London. I'm sure everyone listening has seen them. Maybe you don't have them in your own collection. Karl, I don't know if you've come across them in the past. But it's the postcards. Now, if you're a tourist in London, you see the postcards. I think there's one with a punk, isn't there, with Greene? Yeah, from 1977. Yeah, there's one which is probably... It's probably a grandfather now. Probably something like a view from London at night and it's just black. Oh, yeah. It's a classic. I'm a fan of the baby covered in spaghetti. Brilliant. That happens a lot in London and the old East End. That's a baby outweigh. There's a spaghetti. Brilliant. A wonderful memory of London. Yeah. But I was into myself, how would I best want to remember London? Yeah. If I were a tourist from Prague, maybe. Exactly. You're a tourist from Prague. You want to send something home to your nan, to your nan, to your mum, to Gorsky. Exactly. You're sitting in IME in Beatroot. Yeah, you want to say I've been to London. I've been to the home, the birthplace, or some of the great names. Dickens. Dickens, yeah, I've seen Big Ben, I've seen the Hoeser Parliament, I've seen the wonderful things. The best way for me to remember that is a picture of a woman's breast with pictures of cats painted on them. They are the most grotesque things. You've seen these before, come? They're awful. You can find these on any postcards. It's just a woman's breast draw on a face on it. I think it is that, all the breast from London. So there's all the breast from London and the other one Carl, I think you've got there. What does it say? What's the little tag? We're a couple of swells. Oh, we're a couple of swells. But it's just, when were that, I mean, they've been around so as long as I've been in London. I just don't know, I don't know who took them. Maybe the woman should just point this out into the name. If you've not seen them, don't think that it's a topless woman. It's just a disembodied breast. Or in the case of a couple of swells, two breasts. I know. I want to just awful. It looks like a snapshot. But what was me is that what happened was that she was probably the equivalent of Carl and she had two mates and they went, oh, how much would it, if we've taken your breasts, how much would you do it for, a 20 quid? Yeah. And they took a picture. And how much would it cost for us to paint some faces on them and then take a picture? Yeah. Oh, that's always wondered to myself who that person is. Oh, probably kind of London getting to modelling or something. I think if you pamph her down, she's actually wearing a pair of your pants. I think if you pull out, she'd probably be unconscious with a needle hanging out of her arm. But I just imagine. See now that would be a fair representation of London. XTC and Senses working overtime in the present climate they should be happy with the work. I'll XFM 104.9. I'm a good device with me Steve Merchant and Carl Polkinton. Carl, you're poised there. I know what you're dying for. I know what you're dying to do now. You're dying to play some adverts aren't you? XTC. Radiohead. They're there. They're there. They're their new single. Nice. I'll XFM 104.9. Now listen. Some DJs are a little bit lazy. They get play listed. Or they get people to phone in with requests. I mean they sort of work out what they're going to say. We choose our record, don't we? But we are very lazy. So I thought why don't the people phone in say what do you want us to talk about? Clever. Yeah? Clever. I mean because I'm out of stuff. I didn't come in with any stuff anyway but I mean I'm out of just... Yeah. What's the number Carl? Sorry, are you out of breath? Having finished that sentence? No, I've been squeezing his head. All right. As long as there's a decent reason. What I do, my technique, I'm only allowed to squeeze his head between one and three on a car. Yeah, that's right. And what I do is I get ready. There's one I do the clamp either side is the temple and I squeeze. And that's dangerous because I think the head isn't as strong that way. So I don't go too fast. But then when I put one on the forehead and one on the back of the head and I squeeze I go really hard, don't I? So do you call in with stuff to talk about? I know 8700. 8100.1234. See, I don't know what Dr. Fox is talking about. I can't believe any of the award winners have ever spoken about the various techniques to use what was breathing a person's head. That's that. I didn't want to talk about. Evan Dando in the lemon heads. That's a track called Rudy with a flashlight. Of course, Evan's got a new album, mate, but working for an alternative radio station, Ricky, it would be ludicrous to think there was a copy of that line around. Oh, yeah, I mean. But email only the rock busters. That's what this is all about. Rock busters. Coming up soon. Of course, indeed. Plus, of course, I have very special guests this afternoon, Tattoo. Oh, yeah. I mean, anyone who looked forward to them. Adverts? Yeah. Excellent. Just because Jane's addiction are back then. Yeah, excellent. And so are we. All right, I'm Ricky Gervais with me, Steve Merchant and Karl Pilkin, to impressing the buttons on XFM104.9. Well, I'm looking forward to the day. Because not only have I got a bit of belly, a bit of spring steam, not the hoople, pretenders, are, yeah, and out on John Classic, don't laugh. Right? But we've taken Dr. Fox's advice and paired the show. And I've got a big list here of amusing observations coming up after the next record. A fairly observation about describing your looks. Brilliant. All right. Oh, before I just say, Ricky, just an email, beach buggy. Your last chance to see them on Thursday for the June, all right? So don't miss that at the garage. No, 45. Your last chance to be funny. Fourth coming single from the white stripes. I just don't know what to do with myself. Worth checking out the webcam. Ricky's made Karl some kind of, I don't know, how would you describe that? I don't know, he's like a new thing. It's sort of like a scarf sort of bandana. I just invented it. I don't know what to do. Talk us through it, if you would. Well, all it is, it's a length of toy to buy, where you can use silk or whatever thing. And you just put it around his neck and then round the back. And up over the years and tied to a little bow jaundly on the side. If you could actually stand up, just in case they got a webcam shot of it. You can, you can see that there. What would you call that? I don't know, it's sort of like a bandana, but I don't know. And neckadana, neck chief. And neckadana. A Karl chief. Yeah, yeah, I don't know. Well, we'll be marketing those if anyone's listening. So, would you do them in a variety of different colours for gay people? Thanks a lot. Flaming lips. Fight test. So, uh, end of rock wasters probably, I think. Well, I didn't announce a winner. And I would like to give the prize to Mark Blackwell. Because I think Mark treated the quiz with the kind of contempt it deserves by emailing in the right answers after we'd given them out. And that seems fair enough to me. That seems really... I'm still surprised I'm not right. It's amazing. So, well done, Mark, you get those fairly mediocre prizes. Adverts, I'd love to have some adverts. Yeah. Monkin News after this. Well, maybe. Animal Night Trate, by Swave, we've got to go. Goodbye on the day that we saw the end of rock wasters and monkey news. Next up is Alex Zane. It's got the body of the mum with the face of a lady. No, no, no, no, no, no. See you next week? Watkins X1. Every Dando on the track called All My Life. That is beautiful. I can't get enough of that. That's pretty. Great stuff. Adverts... World Party, is it like today? Still to come? We've got Monkin News, is that right? Yeah. We're guaranteed Monkin News. But I tell you what, I know I can look the look in your eyes. I wanted to play this advert for you. My next FN 104. Thank you. Well that's about it. We've had some tears and laughter. I mean the only real thing that we learnt from today's show that's corroborated and is absolutely true is that remember, mancunions take off more sick days than any other area. Eleven days per year compared to sort of like eight Liverpool. And from that which, I believe, do not trust mancunions. Well I'm not saying that. I think that's a bit harsh. I'm saying, you know, make sure you get in right in that they're not going to have more than sort of like the average number of days of per year. Yeah. Or they start taking those off fire them. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? I like Carly better good day. We're going to have a beautiful song aren't we? Just to show our all still friends. It's Jimmy Webb and his version of Galveston. See you next week like this. Bye. Welcome from the album Yankee Hotspot. That's a song called I'm the Man Who Loves You. XFN Wonderful Point Man. XFN. Varrel William, he speaks from J. Z. That's a new single in front and that's released on the 4th of August. It's made me sort of feel funky but in the chill that way. Yeah, that's perfect. He's my advice though. Oh, that would really help you. Yeah. XFN. Last tune from us this week. The eels know we came for the soul that's FN Wonderful Point Man. Yeah, you've been listening to Look at your A Steve Merchant and Karl Pilkington. Karl, been a good show. Well, I hope you've learned. What have you learned from the last two hours that you'll take away with you? With what we've talked about a lot of stuff. Yeah, go on then. But what's Sankin? I'd want to know what a Sankin the last two hours we have talked about a lot of stuff. But what will you take away? What will you learn or think about? What resonated for you? Probably the kid that turned out to be a monkey. Right, that was C. That's probably up there with them. Right, you brought that to the table, wouldn't it's rubbish? So next. What have you learned? Not what did you say? Just reminded me that I prefer to watch the people in Wheelchair's playing swing ball. That's still sort of floating about. More your sort of things, well, more that you brought to the table. The oldie had in your head that hasn't changed. I'm more thinking of what I did. Did I hit anything out of your head and replace it with something useful? Did gay people be in good parents and that? If gay people had a kid, they'd be good. You obviously also are now more aware of the difference between determinism and fatalism. Have we taken that away with you? I thought. Yeah. And the animals, you know, if they don't get their rights, you know, they will, what will they do with their march or will they like, you know, try and stand for office themselves? What do you think they do if you say if we didn't allow a chimp to enter the Tour de France? What do you think we do? Who's going to stop it? It's not I mean, who's going to stop that? I mean, you're asking me if it'd be president, what would it do? That wouldn't be high up on the list. So let the kid have a go. You know, I mean, let him have a go in the race. What arm is it doing? Not a kid though, this is a chimp. Well, you know, I mean, can I also just remind you of something else we've learned today? No, this is from the listeners. Turns out Chris Moles is a bit of a prick. See you next week. Yeah. Thanks a lot. This year at school, apparently, according to Carly, hails from Bow. If he's listening, good work. I hope you have a number three hit with that. XFN 104.9 Ricky Gervais reading a magazine, Carpeoking Turn in a good mood today. So we're going to play for some adverts. Thanks a lot. Thanks a lot. Thanks a lot. All right. Here we are. One o'clock. Hey. Thanks a lot. I'll tell you what you should play. No, I'll tell you what before you say it. Before you say it. Yeah. We're back then. We're back in town. Well, that was what I was going to say. You should play boys and back in town. This is boys and back in town. You should play that, though. That's just it. It's a classic. If I can't change your mind from sugar on XFN 104.9 Ricky Gervais to you. Oh, moldy. At Brazil's trick. Right. In the shugs. Yeah. Yeah. Here, Carl's, Nick, that film. Come on, Carl. Come on, hurry up. Work your half hour and then you get Monday off. Come here. Well, happy now about that. So Ricky, dock, your name is at xfm.co.us. What's Carl's email address? Is it Carl.pilkintern at XFN? So everyone sends an email on Monday. Just so he gets back and he's got to do something on Tuesday. Yeah. Maybe he should have overtook the load off on Monday. I don't know. Final track from an album called 1972 by Josh Rex. We're waiting for him to... XFN. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Ads. The clash, train in vain on XFN 104.9 Ricky Gervais to you. Carl Pilkintern coming up after the ads. The return of rock busters. How excited are you, Rick? Pretty good. And he's got another one as well. He's returned. Have you know how many appears in that little film? Sure. He's done that. He's got a shopping or something to do. I can't remember. Shoot off now. The thorns. I can't remember. And that's beautiful. On XFN 104.9 Ricky Gervais with me are Steve Merchant and Carl Pilkintern, two for the price of one. All right, so there you go. Okay, still to come. Carl appears in a film that's marginally distracting. That'll occupy a very serious moment. That'll kill 20 seconds and he can win some more. Every other DJ in the country got sent. Because they're trying to get rid of them. Yeah, I can't even say you also hear the phrase of sharp car play record. In fact, sharp car plays meds. All right. I got to do you want to. Yeah, just answer that. I got to do that. I got to do that. I got to do that. I got to do better than what you had to say. Yeah. Thanks a lot. Learn to fly by food fighters on XFN 104.9. Look at your base, Steve Merchant and Carl Pilkintern. Well, Carl, I think it's time for another competition. We've got some great prizes to give away. And you've got your film quiz. Yeah, we'll be doing that in a bit. Take a classic film. My favourite film ever, this one, probably. Okay. Sort of edit it. I mean it. And you have to listen to it carefully and that. Because there's a question at the end of it. You win some stuff and that. So we'll be doing that. I've just got some ads and that's going to be a good one. Oh, brilliant. Brilliant. Dynamism. XFN. Let's mark a stipend for his boys from Rapid Eye Movement. Bad day, I hope. You're not having a bad day. It's Saturday. It's 5 past 1 on Rickage Vase with me. Steve Merchant and Carl Pilkintern on XFN 104.9. Big up and a big thank you to Alex Zane for the last three hours. How could you keep going with that? That's it. That is it. Alex Zane, we came in while he was doing his last link. And he's an absolute pro. He really is. I was watching him. At home, you probably think that he's giving you his full attention. He's not. He was looking through a listings magazine, probably figuring out what movie or theater piece he's going to check out, you know, with a lady later. Yeah. Probably going to get used down there with a couple of, you know, chicks. And he really is an absolute pro. Yeah. Looking at you, Ricky. And it's like you can sustain it for a while. Yeah. You know, you're a talented performer. But it's sort of, I don't know what it is. Is it concentration with you? It just ebbs away almost instantly. And you try to do two things, three things at once. But normally on air, that's you eating. I'm taking a fluff, everybody but I never want to. We're on the set. We're with the office. And I'm trying to put off actors, just coming up waves. Instead of, like, memorizing, coming up waves to sort of ruin the show or make them laugh. And you come out and then Rick, Rick, it's like having your own TV show isn't interesting enough for you. It's just concentrate. It's lunching now. Yeah. I mean, you're right. Well, the radio show even less so. I mean, yeah. Really heavy board. How long do you think your interests sort of, you sustain your interest? I can add to it. I can add to it early because I've got board just before we came on air. Sure. Okay. So you came into early. I've got to stop getting the cabs up early. Yeah. So you're forward. I think I've got to get about five to one. And then I think that allows me to do about half one. Again, as you were saying that, he's not giving you his attention. He was kind of leaning back. He's put his feet on the desk. I got to have an eye and this CD racks in the way. Sure. Well, you get yourself comfortable now. Get yourself settled. And then sort of flat. There's a lot of people who will move them up. There's the microphone. You might ask the squeaking going on. You're broken the CD rack. You can actually, of course, you could move the CD rack by getting up moving it. No, that's too much effort. I'm trying to do that whilst I'm angled on the CD rack. I'm getting laying down. It's almost horizontally. Most you can get. Well, I'll tell you what. I don't know what those listeners are thinking of what Steve Merchant say, but don't believe a word. Oh, nice. Yeah, classic. Classic. Yeah. Five minutes pass. One of them. Oh, that's okay. One of them. One of them. No, I'm looking to make Steve Merchant. Carve it. Can't be open to me. Yeah. All day and all of the night from the kinks playing that for Jonathan Ross. I'm sure that you'll give him a call later, so don't worry, Jonathan. Because you can leave it at him for three hours. Oh, yeah, less. Adverts. Adverts. Excellent. Ryan Adams from his new album, Love Is Hell Part One. That's his version of Wonderwall. Rick, I know what you normally enjoy about 20 to 2. Some ads. You love them. Excellent. The specials, Rudy, a message to you. Alex, FN104.9. Still to come, Rick. I know you're excited. Carl puts himself inside a movie. Why don't we throw the cookus nest? Not throw the cookus nest. I think you could imagine him in an institution like that though. Not much of a stretch. Let's have some ads. Excellent. You single from Evan Dando. That's called It Looks Like You. Excellent. Wild is the wind by David Bowie from Station to Station on XFN104.9. Adverts. Excellent. Wonderwall. As performed by Ryan Adams. It takes your breath away, it's over, doesn't it? Brilliant. Is that of the album? Well, it's her. Which album do you mean, Rick? There's so many at the moment. What was the next track on one album? The track after this one? Yeah, when I was... You're thinking of this album, Love Is Hell Part One? Yeah, can we play the track after that? We could possibly do that. That's how it's just amazing. But later on, yeah, there are various albums at the moment. But rock and roll is the big rock 80s style rock album. Or it's not great, but this is much better. Go for this one. Not as good as Adverts, though. Do you know I love Adverts. Oh. Oh, fuck. Thanks a lot. J Hawks, same for a rainy day. We had a lot of emails, Rick, saying, Is Carl the fat bloke from the office? Oh, Keith. No, not at all. No, no, no. Carl has no discerning talent whatsoever. Carl presses the buttons. Yeah, that guy's a funny sort of comedian. Yeah, yeah. We've also had an email that says, Sack Carl. Your thoughts? It's not worth it. What difference do you make? What does that mean? So alive, Ryan Adams, Alex Affen, where by ourselves? Where's Carl, Steve? Well, if we can get through this link, Rick, there's no need for him whatsoever. I'm adding the desk. You're over there providing the chick and the comedy. Yeah, love the entertainment. Carl is making us a cup of tea. Yeah, he was too late for that even. Yeah. He was providing very little for the show. I think he's threatened to be rock busters back for one last time. Looking forward to that. Normously? Yeah. Now, I like Ryan Adams, but I prefer his sort of like melancholy sort of modern, alt country sort of vibe than that one. Yeah. Which brings me nicely to this. Okay. I've got sent a CD in the week. Yeah. All right. Just play this. You want me to play it? Yeah. Pretty girl on the hood of a Cadillac. She's broken down on freeway night. A second look. She's got a wension started. I leave a permanent and I roll on by, by, by, by, free, love, I'm on the free love freeway, the love is free, and the freeway is long. I'm the hot, the hot, the hot, the hot, the hot, the way, I'm going home to smile, baby, it's gone. And that's great. It's brilliant. I love that. It makes it sound like a real song. Yeah. I need just a phone to ask permission. Of course, I said yes, but on his website, I don't know what he's doing, it's names Ben and Sullivan. And I think it's part of a live gig, but it's just stuck right on a CDR phone. That's great, isn't it? Yeah. He's got a great voice as well. It's brilliant. Can you do it a bit more? Oh, it's bad, bad, free, the free love freeway, the love is free, and the freeway is long. I got some hot, the hot, the hot, the hot, the hot, the way, I'm going home. It was the explain for you to probably don't know why we're playing this. It's actually a daily bent sound from the officer and his, in his cover, it's got a... It's got a poster. There is one, of course. And both the series one and series two is still available on TV. You have to. We don't need Carl. You know, you're absolutely right. Can you just play a record without going wrong now? Let's see, we've played that. We're talking... Why didn't you choose the Long and Wind and Road? This is the version from that remix, let it be album, where they take all the strings off of the Phil Spectre version. I see if I can. This is Long and Wind and Wind, by Beatles, where this is the one where they've taken all the strings off that Spielvector version. Spielvector. So close. Michael Frampton in Spirithead, everyone deserves music on XFM104.9, giving away some prizes for the first time. That's what a boss is saying, everyone deserves music. Yeah, XFM. Absolutely. Choose two CDs. Yeah. Whatever you want. Well, the two that Carl's chosen are, of course, Kings of Leon's album, and the best of Bob Marley. And Paul from Basil D'Onexics, we're going to give you the 25th hour on DVD, Dr. Serrub Fierce, Lord of the Rings, the Fashow farewell tour, and the complete second series of the office that's still available on the shops. What's that on DVD? That's on DVD. Nice to go, yeah. Plus, I think there's probably a best air guitar album in the world ever as well, which we can throw in on a big treat. No DVD of animals, selling out fast. I couldn't get one myself. So what about some adverts? What? Ricky is Steve Aher. Carl Phil can turn it as a way today. So Mr. Ian Campfield. Stop it! This is my signing off link. Right, look, I'm running into your show now. It's your fault. Mr. Ian Campfields with Ricky and Steve today. Jimmy Carlson, X-List, you, each of my, if you didn't get a request and I'll see you 10 o'clock next Saturday. Merry Christmas. Thanks a lot. I'm going to raise with me, Steve Merchant. Here are some advertisements. Thanks a lot. Darkness growing on me. Love that. Love the darkness. This is the best off show. 1XFN104.9. I'm Ricky Chimayas with me, Steve Merchant. Yes. I hope you're enjoying the best of. Star Sailor. Silence is easy. 1XFN104.9. Now, we've got a few ads coming up, which is really loving that. It tells you what to buy and, you know, when to get it and everything, which is sort of an information service. But after that, a welcome return by popular demand of rockwusters. That really, what do you mean by popular demand? Well, one person said to Carl, I used to like that, so he went away and started on it. Sure. Really? Yeah. Brilliant. Get a vote of Penny Money. Yeah. Thanks a lot. I'm looking back there doing their original offer back for Good from the enemy war child charity album. I like it. It's a good cover. I've been on it, Steve. I prefer the original. Well, I don't think I would dispute that, but I think McCann wants voice is well judged. And you have the exact work is no slouch. But I'm just saying that take that, Lads. I prefer their vision. All right. But I'm just saying that, you know, that was interesting. It was worth listening to. Well, that's the sort of thing you might get with our musical show. All right. It's a taste of this. I've some ads. 6-1. Milk Shaking, Colleagues, on XFN104.9. Which is a huge difference. Carl Pillsington, still to come. Munking, musical, a swip. I know you're father. You're some other great... What are you saying, Ricky? We've got feeder. We've got any-man. We've got Neil Young. You know what I mean? Yeah. It's like, it's wicked, don't it? It certainly is. 6-1. Bruce Brinsteen, no surrender. So, unless like the album, all amazing gig. I know you're going tonight, Rick. You can't wait. You'll have a while at the time. There's a lyric in there. I know it's using some... We learnt more from a three-minute record, baby, than we ever learnt in school. Probably not paying attention to be fair, but that's certainly true of you, Carl. I would have thought, isn't it? Well, he learns a lot of his stuff from... From records. He only likes records with the story. His favourite record is Killing a Georgie. Where was it to it? Yeah. In the ghetto, by Elvis. Living in the city, mostly wonder. And a babushka. Well, I hate babush. It gets the story. Yeah. We looked into the story of that. What I was saying was she dresses up. And the husband falls for her. And what did you say? Just saying it wouldn't work. I'm just wondering... I mean, we should play it really, so people can hear it and sort of... Or we can have a little bit later on then. And we can analyse those lyrics. Coming up on XFM London's alternative new music station, babushka by Kate Busch. Brilliant. Hey, sister. Rick, I know you'd like to occasionally share your musical tastes with the audience. Yeah. And just talk about what you're reading about in the moment. But I can't get enough of this bright eyes album. I'm wide awake. It's morning. It's beautiful. It's beautiful. And I know it's a great tune. It's one of those albums where it actually holds together as an album. You want to listen to it from the beginning to the end. It's dying the mic. I'd say I got it on by. Oh, I recommend it to anyone. Talking about going out and buying stuff, Rick. Well, you wouldn't know about that. Well, no. This is why I had to put out that appeal for free stuff. And you know, we did mention that at the beginning of the first show. Oh, yeah. Because, you know, we don't tend to get sent. A lot of the usual kind of treats that a lot of radio stations and really DJs get sent. So, you never get sent music, Rick. I mean, we're probably one of the only DJs on this station. I like it. We're totally unpaid. I know. I know. I know. But we do get sent now. I'm pleased to say some other stuff. I'm going. People are now beginning to see that, yes, if you do send us stuff, we will shamelessly plug it. We've just been sent the book of British hit singles now, but that's a problem you were given. A great gift. That is not a CD from an unknown band who pressed it in their garage. Yeah. Exactly. That is not a... We review this book. I've done about a heath of punk. It's a lovely... I could easily give that as a gift. The Christmas tile and so on would think that... Now you think... You think you'd say... You could probably say... Easily. Well done. Well, I mean, it's a lovely day and, you know, if anyone's thinking of it in a barbecue, could I suggest a lovely ban rock station wine? Okay. If you don't know about it, let me tell you about this. You know, Tony Scharley, the manager of Ban Rock Station. Oh, yeah. Well, he comments, being an Australian wine brand, we have very much proved the outdoor way of life, enjoying a barbecue with a bottle of wine amongst friends. And I agree with Tony Scharley. And it's a lovely... They do go to bed and why... They do, but I love the full-bodied taste of the ban rock red with maybe a fish dish. What? Well, I've made now. What am I doing drinking red with fish? Oh, come along. If you've perhaps finished the barbecue, we've got some guests right in the night. It's still a balmy evening. Perhaps you'd care for some hope and green wood confectionery. I would love some... What sort of things are involved on that? You've got some delicious chocolates from Herb Greenwood. They do make, as you can see here, there's a wonderful presentation box. It is lovely. So, again, you need perhaps to take a gift to a perhaps a wedding or someone else's kind of barbecue party. You know, I'd have thought a lovely bottle of ban rock station and some hope and green wood would be the idea. I do have got anything to share with you, Claire. We've only got two weeks left. So, I'd like to share some of the things that are worth it. Things we can drink, please do send it in soon. Tom Petty in the heartbreakers on XFM free-falling, Rikijub Aestimic and Karl Pilkington. Coming up after the ads, Rik, you'll be loving it. Go on. It's nob news. Excellent. That's beautiful. It's really a mini-michael and the river. Merry Christmas, everybody. We're back next week at 10am on New Year's Eve. So, from me, Rikijub Aes, Steve Merchant, yeah, Merry Christmas. And the shaved chimp that is Karl Roundhead Pilkington. The news on 88 to 91 FM. This is Radio 2 from the BBC. Katie Tunston on Radio 2 and suddenly I see Rikijub Aestimic and Karl Pilkington. The question to win the Red Hot Chili Peppers Platinum Disc was what again? What'd you call yours? Sure. Okay, we've had some answers, everyone. I call my whatever you like. Can I just have the chili peppers Platinum album, please, please, please. Marika from Cambridge. Right. That's just begging. I have, as long as I can remember, called mine, Percy Thrower. Never knew why. Adrian from Stoke. I like that. Yeah, that's quite a lot. I mean, but I'm actually going to the doctor and saying, I've got a pain in my Percy Thrower. Yeah. What bring him in? Yeah. It was always my thingy. But like Karl, I tend not to refer to it now. Michael from Holland Park. I've got one from Stephen King in Portsmouth who say, you know how, that girlfriend's parts are referred to as the unmentionables. So it like disney's the Incredibles, which actually is what I call mine. I call mine Tuppens. Love the show, Claire from Essex. Yeah, that's quite sweet. That's good Tuppens. Right. But this is my favourite. Okay, this is from Kim. Okay. I think this wins. Okay. Because I've never heard this before. But it's okay. My man calls his Twig and Berries. Twig and Berries. Yeah. It's quite festive actually. I know. Yeah. It's quite sweet. So he gets the platinum. It's weird actually we're talking about this because it's just for putting my mind when I went back to Bristol, Christmas site and take my car in for an MOT. And although I'm sort of working class from origin in my origins, I always feel intimidated by anyone who's got any kind of skill. You know what I mean? An engineer, a mechanic, a tradesman, a carpenter. Anyone with overalls on and a bit of a loyal man. Yeah, really intimidating. And I'm always terrified that because I basically look like a 30 year old student, they're going to see me coming and they're just going to fleece me. Do you know what I mean? They're going to see me walking in. I'm six foot seven. They're going to go, this guy, we're ripping this guy off. So I always, and I do this thing where I had some builders working on my hand. You pretend to chew. I pretend to chew and I just start coming out with these sort of, sort of, trying to sign working class. And I'm sure I was saying things like, oh come on mate, you give me a quote. I was like, come on mate, come on mate, don't pull my dongle, you keep her. No. Stupid phrases that come with chief. Come on, suddenly I'm calling people chief. Do you have a dumb yourself down? I just stay as I am, no matter who it is. I went to, I had to get some glass from a glass shop. Again, I was worried he was going to fleece me and I went into this glass shop and I started pulling out the sheets of glass and looking at them. And the guy went, don't do that mate, you'll cut your end. I went, oh if I mate, you went, don't do that. And he come over here, one of those big sort of falconers type gloves and he pulled the glass out. I'm sorry about that. And I, anyway, then I pulled out another sheet of glass, I've forgotten. And I cut my hand. And the glass, right? So, so the thing was because he was just staring at me from across the room. And I didn't want, like, to sign up movies. Yeah, yeah. And then I was like, what are you doing? It's just under the, just a big bloke. Yeah. Just going to growl it. And so I was worried that he'd see that I'd cut my hand and I didn't want him to realise that I wasn't, you know, buying glass every other week. Yeah. So I said, I just got to make a phone call, right? Got my phone out. Went out, went to the news agent next door, found some plaster, right? Right? Rapped my hand up in plaster. Then I went back in, then I thought, wait a minute, I don't want him to see that I've got plaster on my hand because he'll realise that I've cut my hand. So I came back in having a fake conversation going, all right, chief or chief, yeah, all right. I mean, they're now, the rest of the transaction, including signing the credit card slip with my other hand so that he never saw my bandage hand. It's so pathetic. That is so new. Well, I was just getting to the stage, sort of about 36 onwards where, you know, a bloke in a lorry would let me back them in. Right. You got that. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. And I could nod at policemen. Yeah. But then I got famous, so I can't do it anymore. But I was, I think you've got to be like that. But I still look too young to start calling kind of landlords, governor. Governor, yeah. You've got to be a certain age before you can say you might have an age. You might have an age. Yeah. But if you don't go the usual, okay, so he goes, I don't know you. He's a specky little git. Yeah, that's always the worry, isn't it? Carl. Do you think Carl, because I'd like to see Carl try and pass himself off as perhaps the other way, instead of working class, more sort of that market? Well, it's not to do with class. I just think educated. Yeah. I just think we could sort of get Carl sort of, I mean, it's not even like a Liza Doodle sort of because we just want to bring him up to par, really, to bring him up to a normal human being. Yeah, but it really doesn't matter, does it? As long as people know what you're going on about, it doesn't matter. Well, that's there. You see, there's the, that's it, really. There's the rub. So you say something, Carl. Say something really posh like, thank you so much for inviting me. It's a wonderful, so I won't say that. No. But I'm actually going to have to say that. I'd say you were talking about being at the Queen's house. Yeah. I'd go up at the end, go, you know, just cheers for that and a good time. Good luck. I'm actually here. Good luck. Good luck. Good luck. It's the same thing though. It's just all words that someone made up, isn't it? Oh, you are so delightfully quaint. No, but I've told you before, there's that long word, probably the longest word I know, is that anti-dipity or something. I don't really know it. Anti-dipity. It's not the longest word, though. It's the longest word you don't know. Yeah, that's it. Radiohead, Jigsaw falling into place. You're listening to Enemy Radio with Mick and Jive A. Steve Merchant, Karl Pugleton. Great music. That's what it's known for. That's what the enemy's known for. No, it's not. It's known for jumping on any trendy bandwagon for three months and then we were under something else. Don't slag them off. What are you talking about? Don't slag them off. NME, new musical express. Comes to you fast. Comes to you fast every Tuesday. Wednesday. I always always more of a fan of the military maker. You wait till Wednesday. I'll get on Wednesday, Mick. Of course. Passay. Then some of the bands are out of date by the time you buy it. A magic ring.