Off Menu with Ed Gamble and James Acaster

Comedians Ed Gamble and James Acaster invite special guests into their magical restaurant to each choose their favourite starter, main course, side dish, dessert and drink. Ever wanted to eat your dream meal? It's time to order Off Menu.

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Ep 183: Motsi Mabuse

Ep 183: Motsi Mabuse

Wed, 15 Mar 2023 04:00

This episode gets a 10(!) from us. Strictly Come Dancing judge Motsi Mabuse is this week’s guest diner.

Motsi’s book ‘Finding My Own Rhythm: My Story’ is out now, published by Ebury. Buy it here.

Follow Motsi on Instagram @motsimabuse

Recorded and edited by Ben Williams for Plosive.

Artwork by Paul Gilbey (photography and design) and Amy Browne (illustrations).

Follow Off Menu on Twitter and Instagram: @offmenuofficial.

And go to our website for a list of restaurants recommended on the show.

Watch Ed and James's YouTube series 'Just Puddings'. Watch here.

Hosted on Acast. See for more information.

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Welcome to the off-menu podcast, taking the burger of Great Chat, squirting in the catch-up of humour, but not before removing the gerkens of evil. Ed Gamble there? I'm seeing the podcast in quite a controversial way, I'd say. I'd say that would be the earliest that some listeners have gone, what? Yeah, that goes on the most bit. You know, I agree with the listener. Yeah, yeah. But I know some people don't like gerkens. So it's very nicely done. I love gerkens. But I'm pink people who I love them. I'm a gerkim boy. Yeah. This is where we both agree. We're both gerkens, jerkins. We're gerkens, jerkins, mate. No, I'm a sturkin. That is Ed Gamble. My name is James A. Castor. This is the off-menu podcast. We invite a guest into our dream restaurant and we ask them their favourite ever starter main course dessert, side dish and drink, not in that order. And this week, I guess, is Motsy Maboozi. Motsy Maboozi, a professional dancer. A professional dancer. A judge on strictly. An incredible judge on strictly. My favourite judge on strictly. No shade to the earth as it is a very closely-owned contest. A lot of the time the judges have to say to the celebrities, this is such a tough decision. It's so close. Yeah. And that's what you're saying as a judge of the judges. Yeah, I'm splitting hairs here. That Motsy, I'm afraid, the other two judges, she is my favourite. Yes. Yes, she's brilliant. Can't wait to chat to her. Also, author. Yes. Finding my own rhythm by Motsy Maboozi is out now. It's her story. It's her life story. There's so much in there from like when in dance competitions all around the world, becoming a strictly judge, living in South Africa, Germany. What a life. Such a life. Such a life. Such a life. Such a life. And you know what? You have a little bit of insight into that life through food. That's the show. Yes, that's the show sometimes. Sometimes that you know on our good days the show is a tour through people's life via food. Yeah. On the bad days, it's stories about poo and wee. It's nonsense as well. Yes, yes, yes. So we'll see where this one goes. We love Motsy Maboozi, but if Motsy says the secret ingredient, an ingredient which we deemed to be unacceptable, we will have to throw Motsy Maboozi out the dream restaurant. I never remember. I just burped. You better keep that in when Motsy's on. Oh, listen, but the time Motsy comes in here. I'm keeping on top of it. Okay. You're a fan. You're actively a fan. Come on, that's the fan. I'm not burping in front of Motsy Maboozi. Yeah. And you better take that stomach as well. Oh, god. I don't know. I better eat something. Yeah, eat something, man. But this week the secret ingredient is microwave vegetables. Microwave vegetables. Now this has been suggested by a listener. No. No. Me. That's a good suggestion, Moldon. Thanks. I've got a lot of props to the listener for that. But I've got a list of it. That was you. Probably some sort of versions of it that work fine. But every microwave vegetable I've had in the past, so sad. You got to put a hole in the bag, put it in the microwave. Soggy. Soggy, horrid. No flavor. Soggy, sad. I would rather have any other type of head vegetable. How are you doing your Veg at home, James? Well, that's a good question. The other day I fried up some asparagus. Sure. I'm going to do some broccoli, I'd roast it very rarely to I boil veg now. It used to be my go-to when I first moved out of the A-caster. Perth? Perth? Perth? But now I will roast or fry my vegetables. I'll griddle, I'll regularly griddle. You came over recently in the difference. I did some charred broccoli. Beautiful. Beautifully charred broccoli. Just in a dry griddle pan and put another heavy pan on top of it. I'll light five minutes, flip them, five minutes again. Beautiful. I went on a Claudia Wincoman radio to show. Yes. And she said, she bought this up, I think, expecting a rise out of me. She said, a gamble came on this podcast. He said, he's a much better chef than you. What do you say about that? I was like, yes. I think she backed me into that corner. I said, yes he is. And I don't think that's true. And when I was there, well, for example, I said, I was there last time, he griddled some broccoli. Did Polenta for the first time and it was delicious. And he slowed cooks some beef cheeks and they were delicious. And there's no way I'm doing any of that. Never. Yeah. Look, you've got to have me over. And I want some of the classics. Look, if you don't have me over for a tree, though, fucking broccoli pasta at some point, I'm going to kick the hell off. Joe, what? Yesterday I did. So I had my tree, so broccoli pasta and ages. And I was really hungry in the evening. And so all we had was the ingredients for that, because my girlfriend's the most the ingredients for it. That is mad that you know, we didn't go to nothing in the house, apart from all the ingredients for tree, they're broccoli pasta. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Listen, one of the only ingredients you've got in the house is a broccoli stump without their head. What's going on? But I didn't have the pasta. All I had was some noodles. So I made sure it's a broccoli pasta with noodles. Trees are broccoli noodles. Yeah. And it didn't not work. It didn't not work. It didn't not work. Oh, it did not work. It didn't not work. It worked. Well, it didn't work either. But it was the departure. So we'll be doing it again. Had noodles broccoli. Surely you had some other things to maybe make it like a like a East Asian style dish. This is the thing. This is why you were right to say the Claudia, you're a better cook man. Yeah. Because I was in a fort. Well, I know how to make that. Did you have ginger? Did you have soy? No, no, no, ginger. No, soy, soy, yeah. Garlic, yes. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Chili, any chili? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can really nice, that's a chicken beef. We had no... That's enough. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, the chorizo broccoli noodles it is. Yeah. And the beef. We're very excited to have Motsi in the dream restaurant to chat about food and a little chat about her book as well. This is the off menu menu of Motsi Mabousi. Motsi Mabousi. Motsi Mabousi. Motsi Mabousi. Welcome Motsi to the dream restaurant. Thank you. Welcome Motsi Mabousi to the dream restaurant. We'll be expecting you for some time. What do you think of the journey? I mean, the explosion. That was a welcome. Usually when I get somewhere, there's always music. Yeah. That jingle that follows me. That, that, that, that. Sounds like something coming up now. That was perfect. We should enter like that, like the judges do. Yeah. Like, yeah, when I do a little shimmy, then sit down. Sit down. Can you show me? I can do a little shimmy. You know, the, the, the, the listeners can't appreciate. Or I do what Anton, Anton does a very classy, just like, blotzer kiss. Doesn't, the blotzer kiss, kind of stands there and just does a... Classic. Yeah, yeah. Well, as you free up to come with a different move each time. I mean, when the music plays, you have to move. What else is there left to do, you know? And I can do that, you know, Anton. Anton is probably not allowing himself that freedom. No, he's to, yeah, rigid, he's too rigid, serious. Yeah, he can only blot a kiss that guy. Shame. Do the go-to move that you would do in that situation when you hear your name? I never planned anything. I just kind of, whatever happens happens. And mostly it's the same kind of, okay, hey, everyone. Actually, you know what? I scream, but thank God, I mean, everybody knows I scream, but. But thank God, at that set of moment, the mic is off because it's, it always feels like, you know, that, that, come on, let's get ready. And then I have to wake myself up. So if the mic was off, we'd all be in trouble. Oh, it's a very, very, very live TV having to come up with a little share me to do. I don't know what I do. I don't even fall over my trousers and come down with it. Well, it's the thing as well. I mean, yeah, live TV, and you're, you're all having to, as the judges, give your thoughts on something you've just seen. Yeah. And one of the things that, I don't know, this is probably quite a boring thing to say. But I can't believe how none of you ever really ever say, um, or, uh, or, or you just go straight. It's like, it's like you're reading straight up a script. You just do it. Bam. No, it's good. And it's like, these are so well thought out, uh, observations and opinions about the dances. They're not faltering at any point. You're not going all over the shop. No, no, no. You know, I speak English and I speak German mostly. Like I would say 80% German and then 20% English, but then I communicate with my daughter in English. So I'm always translating everything. Wow. And I'm always stressed out because my tongue has become so German. So it feels like my tongue is a leather belt. And I'm just softening it up and I'm thinking, do not make a mistake. And the worst part is that myself, African brain still corrects me when I have done a mistake and I'm just like, it's too late. You know, I can't change it. It's like TV. So I'm always fighting that. And in times of pressure, I have slipped. I have spoken German, but I'm just like, come on, it's a continent. You're all here. Everybody understands a bit of German software. So it's happened quite a few times and I hear like what's going on with my tongue. And I have this other African accent. So it's a mess. It's a complete mess. I was as someone who only speaks English. That is such an even a weird idea. So imagine that you're talking about your South African brain and German tongue and having an internal dialogue about the languages. And I'm just sat here sometimes I can't even think in English. No, or speak in English. You're probably not. Absolutely. I can't do any of it. Well, the thing is you also have to say, you're not going to speak English. You all speak differently. Every time I'm in the country, I really have to concentrate. Some people I just don't know. I'm just like, oh, he's speaking the same language. I mean, there's a lot of accents here, like different types of. I struggle with mostly on Strictly. I really struggle with people that come from the North. Like I just like, I'm like, can you please translate at this point? Because it's so strong and I just don't understand really. I'm being honest. It's like, your stuff was, hello, and then it's over. But the language of dance is universal. Yes. When AHA duty was on it, was that quite difficult for you? Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes, yes, yes. But there have been quite a few people from the North. So I'm always asking Craig and stuff. And I'm just trying to understand and positive. But it's not easy. You're so clearly talented at sort of picking up new languages. But in a couple of years' time, you'll probably be speaking like you're from Leeds. I don't know. You can go back and learn the Leeds dialect. Well, I always, with my team in my room, I always put on what I hear is the English accent. And I'll be just like, hello, everybody. How's everybody doing? I love it. I love it. That's all. Because they're just like, what is going on? I was like, this is how it sounds to me, how everybody's speaking. Well, you're sitting next to Craig for a lot of it. Who's a very, very posh English voice. Darling. Char, char, char. Yes, I know. Your new book, Finding My Own Rhythm. Yeah. Which is it too late to call itself African-Brain German tongue? We can change the title. Yeah. Yeah. You call it that? You know what I'm excited about. Well, what was it like, right, right, right, because I mean, this is like, this is like a feather saying it's like a life story. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Well, it was interesting because I had to go. I had to look back again. Obviously, some things I had forgotten and why you're right and you remember certain things. I feel like it's a diluted version of the truth, kind of just making it readable. Because I think some of this stuff would really went on in South Africa and the dancing world is a little bit harsh. And people, you don't want people to be scared. But it's a kind of a leading, giving away for people to see how it was back then. Yeah. Because in South Africa, you did the dance competitions as well. Yes. And one of them there. Yes. What's that like, Antuna Dump? Because like, I think, strictly looks stressful for the dancers. I actually dance competition must be even worse. I mean, that must be like crazy. Well, you know, when you're young, I'm the one that wanted to dance. So when you're young, you kind of go with it. I just feel like it started go crazy when you start pre-impression yourself. So the first one, you're like, yeah, I won. I'm the African champion. And then it's all fun. And then you start. You say that like that was your first thing you did. You're like, well, I'm African champion. Yeah. Well, I've never even danced before. There I am. African champion. No, like the first comp I won, I won four categories. And I have four trophies. I made four my little brain at that time. I'm like, wow. How about you? I was between, I'll tell you, between 9 and 11. And after like three months or something. So you know, like I was quite competitive in school with different things. I did running, swimming, I did, you know, when you have a like debate and I did all of that stuff. And you got one gold star or something, but four at the same place. Yeah. Like this is home. So immediately I got stuck. I think it got worse later. But in the beginning, it was just lots of fun and discovering every like you want to wear the pretty dresses. Your hair gets made up and all of that as a girl. It was nice. Mm-hmm. And do you ever see like when you're judging on Strictly, you ever see a dance and you think I could have done that when I was nine? Yeah. Well, it depends who's doing it. Some of the dancers I think I could do that, you know, with a cloth in front of my front of the door. No, it depends really some stuff. Yeah. I mean, the beginners, right? Yeah. The people that never dance. So it's okay. But I have to say this year that the standard is high. Yeah. I have to start practicing again. The year and last year. Yeah. Very good. My favorite thing about watching Strictly is when they say a less talented celebrity on dance wise and the composure that the professional dancers maintain during the dance when they're, you know, say just dragging someone around the floor basically or dancing around them. Just the absolute composure like the person there with is also a professional dancer. I just think it's incredible. Yeah. Tony and Kat, yeah, this year, one of my favorite things to watch ever. Yeah. I absolutely loved it. And I mean, it's fun for us to watch as a professional. In the week. Because I did the show in Germany as well. And I had, let's say, a kind of Tony Adams. And the people loved it. They thought he was entertaining. And the best part is that he was a great guy. So we could sit and talk. And my dance and brain, I had to just tell, forget it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like just make this about joy. But all dances, I think most dancers are quite competitive. So the hard part is like telling your own kind of ego and your own kind of competitive side chill. Yeah. This is not going to be that. And what you learn later, this is entertainment. So Kat, you're not only never won. But I mean, they were vibing, they gave an energy that we will all never ever forget. So it's something that you know, you impress for a while. Some couples were really good, but you've already forgotten them. We won't forget them. No, no, for sure. No, no. No, no. Well, we won't forget some of the moves. Let's see that. Are you a big food fan before we get into your dream venue? I love food. I mean, I do look like I love food. I love food. I just think that it's a, if you have that opportunity, it's a pleasure of life. So I enjoy. I mean, don't tell us any of your choices yet, but we're going to have some different world cuisines in this and maybe from where you live now, from where you grow up. Yeah, I try a lot, but not too much. Like I've been to Vietnam where I kind of also have to step out. I'm like, okay, go ahead, husband, you do that. I'll watch. I'll have to do. Do we have to get what dishes in particular? Oh, man, I've seen it all. I have seen it all on a plate and my husband's like, come on, try it out. And I'm just like, no, I mean, I'm brave, but not that brave. Like, like really honestly, I've seen it all. We've been to markets in Vietnam where you kind of choose what you eat. And yeah, you can imagine. But people have fun. Egg would love it. Oh, love it. You would love all of that. Yeah, I'm very, very much to be honest with you. Really? Yeah, if there's something new to try, especially if people are being pressed or disgusted that I did it, absolutely. You do it. I'm a show off. Oh, no. Love it. Do you love that reaction? Have you been to Vietnam? Never been to Vietnam. I should go. You do that. Yeah. What are we talking like weird animals? Like animals we've like see animals also that I haven't ever seen. Like don't know where the orientation, I think they're from the sea. Yeah. Yeah. And sources and spices that I appreciate. I appreciate, you know, kind of there's something different or I appreciate eating something here and then trying out in like China or in Japan as a, oh, it tastes completely different from Thailand. I love Thailand. So it's just that I kind of have to recognize what I'm eating. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I'm coming from the sea that you've been accounted for. Yeah. No, I know the name. Wonderful. No, no, no. You don't want to recognize it, guys. No, no, no. Oh, no, no, no, no. Oh, no, no, no, no. It's dangerous. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not that far. That's when I wouldn't eat it if I was like, I've met that guy. Yeah. Guys, I'm still talking about food. Yeah. Well, let's start with your dream menu. You always start with still of sparkling water. Sparkling. Still water is dead, guys. Oh, wow. I'm so sorry. That's fairly, that's fairly contrary to what a lot of people would say. Yeah, a lot of people have come in. They really hate sparkling water. Sparkling water is the strictly of water, so isn't it? Effervescent. I guess, but then I would imagine that if you were dancing, you would want a still water to quench your thirst. Yeah. Well, in the good times when I have a choice, it's always sparkly. If I'm working out or something like that, I have still water, but it's always sparkly. I drink still water all my life, like all my life. And I just, like, I cannot. It feels like a step back. Yeah. No, I can't. I have to enjoy it. Come on, let's be honest. Water is nice when you're thirsty. Like, like, we drink water because we have to. Yeah. And if we had a choice, we would not drink water. I mean, the choices are taste. I quite like. I don't mind it. Yeah, sometimes I don't sit down for a nice, less water. No. To be fair, I do have three drinks in front of me. I mean, that's the thing, you have a choice. And this is the healthy choice. If we drink it for health. Yes, I mean, you do know that there is someone who works, like one of this strictly team who doesn't have a drink water. Really? Yes. Who? Giovanni? No. Actually, this would be a fun guessing game. Giovanni. No. I think Giovanni drinks water. Water. Is it a dancer? No. Then it's Anton. No. Craig? No. Surely? No. Who says? Claudia Winkelman? She doesn't drink water. She doesn't drink water. She thinks it's disgusting. You see? She thinks it's disgusting. And she says she can't kiss her husband after he's drunk some water. Because she imagined he has a big swollen tongue full of water. No, but it's a necessity because the body needs it. But if we had a choice, we wouldn't drink water. We've got fizzy drinks, coffee, we've got wine. We can go on. Well, would you have something else for your water course then? Because now you do have a choice. A sparkling water with a bit of lemon and ice. A bit of lemon and ice. To start it off. Crushed ice? No. Just the cubes. And would you agree with Ed that it's the strictly of waters? Yeah. It's great. It gives you life. You know, it's something bubbling and you're like, oh, yeah, it's not just plain water. There is something happening. Strickly is a fizzy show. It's a fizzy show. It's a, it's a, we sparkle all the way. Exactly. We have one sparkling. Do you want, as well as bubbles in your water? Do you want some actual sparkles in there as well? We can put some glitter in your water for you. Oh, wow. There's never been offered. I will never say no to sparkles. How can I? How can I? I'm assuming on all the little bubbles in your sparkly water, they all look like glitter balls, like the strictly, this global. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. At this point. Just realised I met to shout popodoms. So normally I shout popodoms or bread. I guess this is the first time you've ever tried it. And I literally forgot how to come up as I was doing it. Oh, yeah. Because we're talking that. I mean, I don't really mean that to you, Motsie. But I'm happy because I was completely ruined the timing of it. Yeah. I basically suppressed the birth. They looked at it with very guilty eyes. That was like, I was supposed to shout then. Yeah. What I didn't want to do is shout out and birth. Yeah. And then you like, fucks. Yeah. Yeah. Every time you were strictly from now on, I bumped at that lady. Pop those up. Pop those up. Pop those up. Pop those up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You skipped. Surprise. Even though you knew it was going to happen. Bread, guys. Always bread. Yeah. Bread, bread, bread. Any particular type of bread that you would like on your dream meal? I mean, we have a, how do you call it in UK? Yeah. I mean, I think it's a, um, um, um, uh, there's full comport in German. And it's quite, it's like a dark bread. Yeah. Healthy, nice, thick. And then you have some button. It's, that's amazing when it's freshly done. So warm. Yeah. The Germans do bread very well. It's a specific sort of bread like a sort of heavy. Yeah. Feels like, really feel like you're having almost a full meal with every bite, like proper. Yeah. I love that stuff. And like if you travel out of Germany, you'll like look for bakery. That's got German bread because they just, and there's like, when you go to the bakery, it's just the whole thing is bread. And you're like, okay, what am I going to eat today? What am I going to eat today? Yeah. They love bread. You're like a wide selection in your bread. Yeah. A lot of, a lot of selection. It's a, so I don't know what you live in Germany. Well, I live there because I, I, I landed there. Yeah. I fell in love, moved to the country. And then I was like, okay, it's just for a year. And I was been 22 years. So I've adopted some German mentality and things. What sort of things have you adopted? Wow. I hate being late, like, timeing. And I just also think I think you have to work, like the Germans work, work, work, work. I'm quite, like, that in, in every perspective, I would think it's very low key. It's all about just, you know, what is the function? And it makes things comfortable. And you know, people will not step out of line. Like you can rely when they say, we're, we're doing the, the, you know, we have on Wednesdays the garbage, this garbage and this and this goes to the plastic. And you kind of feel like every neighbor does it and they're like, look. Yeah. And the one African, you know, cranium family in the street. And we were like, okay. So things work because everybody just really, like the bus comes on time and all of that. So that's kind of the German things. Maybe I'm German. Yeah. I think I like the German. I think I like the German. My dad lives in Germany for a bit. Really? And he loved it. He loved all of the different bins. Yeah. And he explained that to South Africans when they visit, I'm just like, oh my gosh. And they think I'm crazy. But they just have a system. The German have a system and then, yeah. And I landed there because it was quite safe. I felt safe. I was in the dance bubble. And then like you can leave your bag in the car. You can leave your car open. Well, it depends probably what you live. It's just that sense of safety you had and coming from South Africa where you're just like ducking every single corner and then going to Germany and feeling like you could breathe. I think that's why I kind of felt, okay, I'm going to stay here for a bit to get used to not looking behind my back every time. Yeah. That must have taken some getting used to that even just like leaving your bag in the car and about that blue your mind the first. So you saw someone do it. I mean, like even in summer, you got of the car forget to close the window. I'm going to go Germany and steal those of backs. You could. I'm absolutely. You could. Definitely you could. Also, you could even if the window was like open that much, I reckon your arms are so like, you could get through like Mr. Tickle. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mr. Tickle, yeah, yeah. Mr. Tickle, yeah. Yeah, like two dimensional. Yeah, like five-star. The pace, but like five-star. Yeah. And get through there. Is it hard to suppress those are German need for rules and things being the way they are? Is it hard to suppress that on the panel? That's strictly because you're quite a, I'd say of the four, you announced on a more laid back and generous. You laugh at Craig for being very strict. Yes. You're laughing your head off next to him. Yeah, I love all the time because I know him privately and I can't kind of switch back enough because you meet Craig and he's like the sweetest. He's fun. He's so relaxed. He's just, we love a lot. So when he comes on the show and it's Craig and then he does it, I'm always like, man, didn't we just have a conversation like five minutes ago? Who's this person? So I'm always laughing at that and obviously it's the very opposite of what I am. So it feels like I told him you really do make my job really easy because you smash everything and I'm just like, let's build it up again. I want it. So it feels that way. But in my mentality, when I'm judging and entertaining and all of that, I'm very much myself, complete self. So it's not that hard to kind of switch that German side off. It's difficult to be in South Africa. That's always difficult because I have to really literally tell my brains, relax. When people say we're coming later, just know it's later. It's not five minutes late, not ten. They come at three o'clock when you said let's meet at eight. So that's later. So there I have to really kind of, because I get stressed. I'm like, we're living, we're living. We're going to dinner and I'm dressed and my people are not going to take the shower. I'm like, what? So it's that situation. He would be few. I hate that. I hate that. If people turn up at three when they're meant to get there, I couldn't. I wouldn't even bother showing up. If I was that late, but into Ed's house, no, don't. I would just don't take my own death in the town. Try and make a thing called get and never see him again. It's true though. It's weirder though if I try and tell myself to relax about it because if I go like, you just be chill, you'll be chill. And then chill, Ed is so obviously not chill. We're like, oh, hey man, don't worry about being late. That's cool in this house. Clearly not me. The pressure gives you and the people and they, somebody ask you something really, can you pass the salt? You're like, salt? I'm just angry because of this. I'm just going to pop you the salt in there. I'll leave it an hour after you offer it. Exactly that. Man, I cannot stop burping, man. How are you drinking spuckly water? No, I don't diet coke and I bowl the pokey. So I'm really, I mean, I can't tell you much. I'm sitting here being like, if you're sitting here doing fishy burps, this whole podcast, man, you never get it. I'm holding it all in my throat. It's, it's, it's horrible. Oh, James. This is, this is, I want to be relaxed for this one. If, um, one, you saw one of the celebrities burp while they were dancing, like, and it was so obviously a burp and you smelt it a little bit, would you, would you reduce your score for them? Well, it depends if it's out of timing or not. I mean, if it happens and you're in the music, whatever, like, but if you're kind of stop and I'd be like, what's up? Then obviously no points there. They, like, did a flourish with it and it was clearly on time. And then great. Yeah. It was right. Yeah. Yeah. At the end, their arms go out. Yeah. Do the burp on the last night. As the dancer, then my only fear would be if we ended up in the dance off and I had to do it again. Yeah. That would be the only thing I've got to recreate that because they all think it was part of the dance. It wasn't. And now I've got a burger going on. Fake it. Yeah. Let's get into your dream menu because otherwise I keep on asking about strictly and we said we'll do that throughout the episode. Yeah. Your dream starter. You know, the thing is when you love food to pinpoint it to one thing is, it's like awful really. Oh, we know what we ask people to do is horrible. Yes. Yeah. It's not fun for people to be on the market. No. No. We have a love. No. And it's fun. Yeah. I love Italian starters. I love when you kind of have a choice of. And then you can mix it. I mean, you have everything when you have tomato and mozzarella and then you've got, that's what I usually do. But when you've got everything mushrooms and salami and like the whole splatter and then you're like, okay, let's start. See with like a platter. You look like a antipastie. Yeah. Antipastie. Yeah. Yeah. Antipastie sounds like a... Trust. Trust. Trust. Trust. Trust. Because there's a lot of good stuff there. But a young one. Yeah. Right that down. Not horrible. Not horrible. Not horrible. Had a yummy antipastie. You know what? The word is stuck into my head because yesterday we were looking for some Christmas presents, but funny Christmas presents for the team. And I found a kind of very nice tissue out of candy. You know, like little tiny sweets. And I had my daughter and she kept on running around the whole shop. Like, mommy, you yummy panty here. You yummy panty and everybody was staring at me. You know, and then a couple of girls came, are you Muslim, Abu? And I'm like, oh no, no, no, no, right now I'm not. So that's why yummy's in my head. Would you like the yummy panties? The yummy panties on the antipasties? Antipasties? What do you think of this, Monse? Out of friends, when he was younger, like a little kid in primary school still. He went shopping with his dad and it was his mum's birthday coming up. And his dad, it had what it had to buy his mum some nice underwear. Tantalise in sexy, to go to the center. But the dad was too embarrassed to go up and buy them. So the kid, so the kid up to buy some sexy lingerie for his own mum. What do you think about that? Whatever works, guys. No, for real. At this point, think of the goal. And like, how sweet is it? Like, you probably the child's like, yeah, my dad's over there. So the dad gets busted anyway. It doesn't work anyway, but whatever works. It doesn't have to be a mannequin. Put some on the way on himself. Yeah. Yeah. Now do it. Go all the way. That's fine. What else is on this antipacity platter then? So you got some salami. Yeah. Tomato mozzarella mushrooms. We've got, I don't know the names in English. You have to excuse me. The lemon with the proscutor around it. Yeah. Yeah. Melon, not lemon. Yeah. Almost there. Oh, it's like a man with a lemon. And you accepted that. I thought it was something I'm not heard of. You know, I don't even have heard of all the foods. There's been some sort of German Italian hybrid thing. Melon, you were melon. Melon and lemon are crazily close to each other. I mean, pronunciation. You see? Yeah. We've got that excellent. They're just diagrams of each other. That's crazy. Has that ever got you in trouble before? When you went into the lemon, you got a melon? Yeah. No. No, yeah. You want me to put some lemon in your water out there. It is not what you meant. It is not what you meant. What? What a melon. What a melon. What a melon. Melon. You see, they were going melon. Yes. They're the honey melon. Do you want more bread on there? Any sun dried tomatoes? Anything like that? Bread. Bread. Bread. Sun dried tomatoes, yes. I love also, you know, from Greece. They fry like the zucchini. Oh, my God. It's really, really nice. Is this like a sharing platter? Would you share this with someone? Who would you like at the dream meal with you to share that with? One person that eats well is my husband. So he's the kind of person that I know we can order more and we don't throw away food. Like he'll be like, oh, yeah, he is. Because he's just like, you know, when I met him, he didn't care. He was like food, food, just eat, you know. And now he's like, I used to ask how does it taste? And he would just, oh, man, I'm hungry. So now, like, he kind of tells the difference. But I always know that I always order so that I know he'll have the rest. Yeah, smart. So he's like a bin, like he's a big dustbin person. A little bit, a little bit, he can eat. That's my job as well, don't worry. Yeah. Being a table. I'm my wife's dustbin too. It works. It works. I'd love to be in a dustbin. I'd actually, you're prying himself on it. Yeah, makes you feel useful. Oh, yeah, absolutely. A bit about yourself. And more like a sort of garbage compacter. I'd say, you know, like the thing in the middle of the sink that people have sometimes, I was like in, do you remember, like the one in the Flintstones, I guess. Oh, yeah. In the Flintstones, the garbage compactors, Veele and Contour. Yeah. It's a little, it's a little dinosaur, a little pig dinosaur. Yeah, I'm a pig dinosaur. A pig dinosaur. So he's kind of like a little pig dinosaur garbage compactor. But it helps. It's a dime helpful. I'm helpful. I'm a helpful guy. That would help. I'll eat banana skins. I do. No. I ain't a banana skin once. And dried. Dry, dry, dry. Dry my mouth. I saw it in the film K-Packs. There's a film called K-Packs with Kevin Spacey and Jeff Bridges. And Kevin Spacey is a man who's claiming to be an alien. And you're not sure for the whole film if he's an alien or a man who thinks he's an alien. And at one point, he sits down with Jeff Bridges, who's a doctor to talk to him. And there's a fruit bowl. And he just picks up a banana and just eats the banana with a skin on his can alien. So he eats it all like that. And I read that he did it for real. It wasn't like a fake banana that was tasting. It was a proper thing. So I was like, but I thought the way he does it looks delicious. I bet that's delicious. I was like 18. So I did it. And it completely dried by mouth out. But I saw it right through to the end still. I think the whole thing. Wow. But yeah, it was pretty, pretty bad. We're not sure if James is an alien. No. We're going to do some tests. Would you think I was an alien? What planet would you think I was from? Oh, wow. Help me. Just for the listener, but he looked directly at the internet and helped me. And I don't know whether that was about the specific situation or the whole podcast in general. I'd like to say that's the first time it happened on the podcast. Help me. What's the correct answer there? The closest to the planet. The closest to not this planet, but the closest one. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So you and your husband are sharing some antipasti. Yes. No one else. You don't want any of the strictly judges with you. No, why you put me in the squad. I want all of them. You have one of them. You have one of them. You have one strictly judge with you. All on nothing. I'm not choosing. You can't choose between them. No, no, no. I don't want to get myself in trouble. Everybody's coming to the dinner. Yeah, yeah. All three of them. And would Craig be like, oh, this antipasti, it's not the best antipasti I've ever had. This is quite bad. And I'm telling you, it's a 10. Every mouthfully has. Do you love it? No. She only gets the side invite. We eat it together. We do share a platter every time, actually. We do. We do. And we love it. We all love cheese. And crackers. I think everybody calls it crackers. All the judges. Yeah. Yeah. Of cheese and crackers. Grapes. Yes. We have grapes. And hummus. Is that what's behind the desk? What are the things? No. When we kind of like, hey, how are you doing? How was your week? We sit together in the machine. I've seen it when, you know, the score cards go up. And one of them's got a big lump of hummus on the top. Yeah. Flex all over the audience. But we're always clearing up because we got like, you know, there's stuff on the table. Yeah. But we share. You have a great, the wrong panel by mistake. And you've ended up giving someone more or less points than you intended to? No. Has anyone else done that on the judging panel? No. That can't happen. Yo, yeah, yeah. Surely you did it this year. First year, she did that. Oh, yeah. I think she said six and she had seven. And then they asked, which one was it? Or something like that? Or something happened like that. But you can't because you have to, we have a scoreboard. So you have to give the scoreboard and then take the number. Nice. I ride. So you're concentrating. You must love that. Have a fish and that is. It's different. I mean, like in Germany, we don't have a scoreboard. So you can wait until the very last second. So you speak to the couple that go upstairs, they speak to the presenter. And even then you still don't have to decide. So you can like literally, you have like five minutes to kind of reflect and then decide. And then it happened. One of the judges was like dry and he had a four. So now it's like a meme. A meme everywhere in every channel. People like dry. That is life forever. That is life. He walks down the street and kids are going dry. It's very crying. That's the truth. You're dream main course. Is this a shower as well as it just for you? No, you know what happens. So my dream main course is that I always kind of, when we go to dinner, I'm like, okay, I'd love this and this. And I'm so lucky that my husband says, okay, you choose. So I choose both and then we like, we do half half kind of thing. So like he doesn't really like only when he orders like spaghetti, cup of an hour, then I'm like, I'm out. I don't want that. But why do you hate spaghetti? You can't. For me, it's like it's bland. Yeah. There's just one taste. Like it's just. Yeah. I don't know. It's not cream in it, though. It doesn't have cream. It's quite a lot nicer. I have to try it without cream. He looks so. So I'm so I'm thinking about spaghetti, governora. No, I've tried it and it's just, I don't get it. And when he orders, I'm happy for him because that means he's made a decision. But I'm just like, I'm trying. Also, he knows it's the one dish you don't like in the world. So like you said, they go in, I've got what I've done today. I'm going to say something out there. Like, no, fuck you, I'm getting a cup of nothing. But he loves fish. Like he'll take pizza with marinara pizza, like he'd put and that I don't like so much. So there are some dishes that he would take that I'm not in it. But my favourite meals, I would say, the dream meal, Eschnitzler. Yes. This is our first Netsal. This might be our first. But the proper one, guys. So what's the proper one, please? Like it's thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, and then it's crunchy. And then you've got a cucumber salad, cooking and then you've got the red berry sauce and then you've got pommas, like a french fries, like that's, that's good. And what meat is it? Normally it's pork, but you can have chicken. Yeah. But it's normally pork. But the ninth, the new one, with it, with like that crunchy part is actually raised from the meat itself and the minute you put like the knife, it goes, Yeah, it's such a good choice. Then one. Yeah, very nice. Because it's not filling. Like if you have, they're not so good ones, it's just like, yeah, brunch. It's not nice. And do you want your husband to order another dish that you can have half of? Well, if it's good, no. I'm like, you're part-wishnit. Yeah. But you'll probably order it with me. Like if it's good, we order the same. But that must be annoying if it's a really good schnitzel, for example. And you've ordered something for him that you know, you're going to have half of, because the agreement is he then gets half of the schnitzel. Yeah. Do you get half of the schnitzel and you're like, oh, it's going to be an only good buy to the schnitzel. Well, it's straight into the bin. No, I do make sure that whatever he orders is yummy. It's like, it's not like, yeah, if it's nice, it's nice. But like, I really, really have a very, very friendly husband. He'll be like, let's order another one or something. He loves this guy. Yeah. He sounds grand. I love this guy. He is. He is shame. I'm sorry. I am. Who says this guy? I know. I know. Poor guy. What is his very name? Yeah. No, I'll take this. Because I love a lot of stuff. Like I also love spaghetti marinara. But when it's well done, like, like, oh, gosh. Really good. Good, good, good. Yeah. I feel like you need to try a proper carbonara that doesn't have cream. Because in the Stanley Tucci episode on his TV show, I can't remember where it is. He goes to because it's obviously, it's all around Italy. It might be the Rome episode. And he has carbonara done the right way. And it's just, it just looks so good. And him and he's like, this is the best one I've ever had. And it's the same. But it shouldn't have cream in it. Yeah. And they're very, you know, the people he's talking to who make it alike. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I think it's the thing that people try to fit the taste of something to the countries. Like in Germany, if they say chili, like it's chili for the Germans, if they say chili in Thailand, you can't eat that. Yeah. Yeah. Like you run. So I think it's something to do with it. Just obviously just imagining someone going to Thailand and just running. Running away every time they see it. Yeah. What's the difference? I think it's which weirdly and I find really funny. Yeah. And people running is one of them. Yeah. No, no, why? I don't know why the idea is just something strange. It's something to do to run away. Yeah, someone running away is funny. Running away is funny. That's how you know you've had an easy life. The idea is someone running away is funny. Have you ever ran away from anything? Good question. That's a great question. Yeah. Yes. Yes, I have run away. The only time I remember properly running away and being scared was a night out in Ketlingwell and from. Oh wow. Well, so it was a teenager and had some friends who had a flat above a like a Kabbab shop right in the right and the center of town. The story where he's going to. Yeah. So we were all there on a Friday night, me and about probably like this, probably about 15 or 20 of us and all into kind of like punk music at the time. Well, it's been to quite loud punk music and chat into each other and three massive guys who were probably in their 30s, walked past, you know, shirts, iron shirts on from work and all this. They're hammered from the pub and they could see some of us on the balcony and they were shouting up, turn that music down. We hate punk music. And it's just bad luck for the rest of us. They spoke to the malveased ones who were just like, we love it. We're whatever. What you're going to do about it, mate. And those guys were psychopaths. Oh wow. I don't know how it got for us being in a safe flat altogether to all 15 of us running through the town and different places. Why do you leave the flat? Well, I tell you why they're sure I don't know how they kicked the door. Oh, wow. So it was it was full. Oh, yeah. That's not the only time that's happened to you when you've been in a flat, but finish this one. I've happened to be before. Adam, Professor. Oh, yeah. I'll tell you that. Tell me. Guy keeps the door in. We claim we find the police when we haven't. They leave us alone. Then someone does that. Like, one of the drunk punks goes, I don't know, I'm going to confront those guys. He goes out on his own. We all have to go after him to get him back. And then we're out in the open at that point. And then we're all running away. Yeah. That's so funny that you get confronted for playing punk. You're a lot of punks hanging out in the flat. And then within a second, you go, we have called the police. Yeah. They have. Oh no. We fought. We don't believe in authority up until we feel scared. We've got to find a girlfriend. It never works, right? They're always delayed. And then in a professional, someone kicked our door in because a member of somebody who was living in the flat, not me, poured a pint of water out the window onto his head. And then the guy tried to get the door in. Couldn't get the door in. Thank God. But I did have a kind of spray paint on him and spray paint did a word across the door. But fair enough. It's the word you're thinking of. Wow. Wow. Okay. I'm going to bring it back to food. Yes. I've been experimenting with spaghetti recently, Montse. And I've come up with a couple of good restaurants. Is this another sweetly panty story? No, not sweetly panty story. Yeah. Candy. Yummy panties. Yummy panties. Not sweetly panties. You say you've been experimenting with spaghetti. No, we're eating it and stuff. I'm not be wearing it. Marmite. Oh, Marmite in the spaghetti. Cook the spaghetti. Drain it, save the pasta water. In the pan, butter, Marmite, pasta water, bit of cheese, until you've got an emulsion, put the spaghetti back in, mix it absolutely delicious. Really? Oh, God, so good. Oh, my gosh. Now, if you don't like the sound of that. I should tell you, here's a good cook. So probably is nice. There's a nightjala recipe for peanut butter spaghetti. Wow. That is absolutely fantastic as well. Similar principle, yeah. You don't seem impressed. You know what? This thing is with Marmite. I won't get it. I will, I accept that it's there. Every time I bring somebody here to visit, it's the trick. I'm like Nutella, Marmite, and something. And I'm like, I never say anything. Never ever say anything. I'm like, try. It's a delicacy. I think picture is a delicacy, maybe. Marmite, I think probably either love it or hate it, right? I think so. I think so, yeah. I feel like that. That's why I can't imagine it. But also it's salty. Maybe it's not that bad, actually. Yeah, it's pretty salty. Oh, extremely salty. Yeah, it's the pot me would work in the past. Yeah, but if you're diluting with other stuff and then it covers the pasta. It could happen. I've had chocolate that's got Marmite in it. Have you ever had that? It's nice and the nice. It sounds like one of those challenges. Anyway, you're like, do it. I'm not doing it. How much am I getting paid? I've definitely mentioned it on the podcast before, but there's ones where it's just chocolate that has some Marmite in it. Yeah, I've heard that. And they've made it as blocks so that you can get a faint taste of it. It's quite subtle. In New Zealand, for a while, they did a limited edition chocolate bar that I think was it was weird. Weird thing it was Cadbury's doing over there. It's like, you know, a Cadbury's caramel chocolate bar where it's like, it's literally just filled with caramel. Yes, yes, yes, yes. It was that, but Marmite instead of caramel. Oh, I mean, Paul A Young did that for a bit. Yeah. The pockets of Marmite inside. And that was a bit tricky. Yeah. If you respect a Paul A Young, the chocolate here, who did a similar thing, he makes amazing chocolate. You should absolutely seek him out. But he did do a Marmite bar like that. And I ordered four of them because I thought I'm going to love this. I love Marmite. He was too much for me. He was. I love Marmite, but it's just too much. He also Paul A Young did a Marmite chocolate brownie that was delicious and my flatmate at the time loved chocolate in Marmite. That's how I got into it because he would get himself it. It's a little treat. He'd get a bar and I'd last him a couple of months. He'd just have a little block of day. And I got him this brownie because he just, he'd just broken up with someone and I was like, I love you, my friends. He's in love with this. He did love it to be fair. The chocolate brownie went, was good. Cheyden Mo, he did cheer him up. He said that's thoughtful. He was like, yeah. I just, you guys saw me that you're unlovable. He's married now. He's married now, yeah. No, Marmite, I think it's a commonwealth thing. I think like we headed inside Africa when we were young, like, nobody has ever heard of it outside the people eating Marmite. It's like, there's one rule in Marmite club. Yeah. Don't talk about Marmite. Don't spread the word. Spread the Marmite. It's the catch phrase. So you love it as well? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like it a lot. I mean, in fact, like the Arman logo for the podcast for a while was just the Marmite jar that it's saying, say, Marmite, it's said off menu and then Marmite sent us this. Yeah. So the Marmite people sent us our own jar of Marmite that says off menu instead of Marmite. And that's when we knew it made it. Yeah. That's probably all right. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no, not touching it. I'm sure you're just gonna do it for one of those dares. How about you do a sell this book? Yeah. You're just gonna... I'm going to say this. A lot of ways that you can make potatoes taste yummy. Is that yummy word again. But I've got this potato. How do you call it? Like when they've got the potato, then they're mashed like that. And then they fry it. And then it's like, they're smashed potatoes. Like a fondant potato, that sort of thing maybe? Yeah, it's really, really, really, really, very good, very tasty, but it's not a fondant potato. A hash potato. A hash potato. Yeah, something like, yes, yes. Oh, what they do is they go. Yeah, you see, you see, I don't have to speak about these things on strictly. So these words, I don't have them in my mind. So they grade the potato and then they put them like together and then they, rostee, yeah, rostee is great for us. But now we're going to have to which one do you think I'm taking the rostee's guys. Rostee's the good ones. Perfect for a schnitzel as well. Yeah, so you could, so you make a whole rostee on top and skip your rostee in the schnitzel. Yeah. So you can find it in those aren't you? No one's looking down in your for that. That's such an insight to how you think. Yeah. But I think about what I do just in case anyone looks down on me for it. Yeah, I'm very Christian. Yeah. I'm Christian until about 20s. Absolutely. Everything I'm doing, I'm thinking I'm getting looked down on for it. I've got to be careful. He's right. It's a particular place where you've had these potato rosties that was the best and that for your dream meal, you'd want them from that place. There's a really nice restaurant. It's in the hotel, actually, it's in the hotel close to where I live. Königstein, that's where I live. That's where my dad lived. He lived in Königstein for three years. Really? Yeah, yeah. Really? And he's working in Frankfurt and living in Königstein for three years. Yeah, that's amazing. You're right. He's right. It's a beautiful town. Yeah. We live there. What a coincidence. Are you serious? Yeah. So there's a Kampinski hotel there. And in the Kampinski, there's a nice restaurant. And I mean, really, a place to go. For the rosties. For the rosties, for the schnitzel, for the salad, for everything. Oh, wow. So you'd like the schnitzel from there as well? Yeah. For your dream menu. Perfect. Great. Lovely. I've had really nice knitzel in München on Vienna. Vienna, they do some. And that hotel restaurant is very, very, very, very accomplished. And it's fantastic. Do you want a restaurant's called? Sorry. Well, we can find that. We can Google it. We can go on the website. We basically put all the recommendations on the podcast, onto the websites of people if they're visiting. If you go there in Königstein, it's Kampinski Falconstein. It's called Falconstein. And actually, they were filming the crown there. Oh, wow. So a bit of the crown. So it's really, really good. And you overlook like there's a park, and then you can see all of Frankfurt from there, up in the mountain. Lovely. Perfect. If you wanted to pick a location for your dream meal, has there been somewhere that's just had the nicest view that you've been sitting there? And regardless of what you've been having, the view is like. Amazing. The best is there. What sticks out to you? Well, because of the dancing, I traveled a lot. I'm thankful for that. There was a little restaurant that I was in at night. It looked fantastic in Mayorka. I don't know how you say it in English. It's in Deja, there. And they have like these little houses inside the mountain. And at night, you just see like the lamps and you sit in there and their restaurants, everybody has got a kind of duck to go in. Absolutely. Wow. Beautiful. And lovely, lovely food. So there's a nice view that I will never forget. Because Mayorka reminds me a little bit of South Africa, with the ocean and the mountains. And so we went there and then we went dark and beautiful. It's a weird house setting, changes food though and food changes setting because that beautiful New York area you're talking about, if you had a Schnitzel and Rusty, that would feel weird, right? Very. Yeah. Because you need that German surrounding, maybe a bit of cold as well. And sort of maybe a fire of word in the room. And then that feels right, but you can't eat Schnitzel on the beach. No. Like every time I go to South Africa as well and they've got like Schnitzel somewhere, I'm just like, I cannot. Like I won't. Like I feel like it's the disappointment to be like. Yeah. Like if I've been to America, if there's like an Indian restaurant, I don't bother going because we've got so many good Indian restaurants found here. And I just know it's not going to be as good there. Because if I was in India, that would be different. Yeah. But that's the thing also like we spoke before, Indian food because we're so used to the way it tastes here. When I went to India, I was just like, we're doing it wrong. Like there's such a difference, but I also can't eat it anywhere else. Like that's how it's going to be. So what would you eat in America, a burger? Oh, no, no. I think it's. So much good food in America. One of the very, I'm an expert of I did eat some spare ribs last time I was in America. And they were so good. It was in Austin, Texas, me and my tour manager after the gig, we've got a place pinned for tacos. We're going to go there for tacos. Everyone says this is the best tacos we're going to go there. We finish like half nine that gives us enough time. We know that the place closes at half 10. We get a cab over. We get there for 10. There's a short line outside the door. And the last person in the line is like, where I'm in a sign on their back that there's been put on them that says closed. Oh, apparently this is what the place does is that when they decide they're done, they go to the last person in the line and they drape a sign over them. Oh, we don't know. On their back, there's a laminated piece of card. A laminated piece of card that says closed. And this customer is now in charge of telling everyone that they close now and getting shit from everyone. Everyone who turns up is like, the most close at half 10 is like, dude, honestly, I'm just a customer. I don't work here. They put this sign on me and then I'm having to deal with complex. Well, they shouldn't be close. I know they shouldn't be. I mean, welcome. You're allowed in. And I'm not. I take the sign. Yeah. It'd be amazing if he wasn't allowed in. Yeah. Yeah. Look at what you wearing. Yeah. See you later. You're the sign. Oh, come on guys. That's cool. But instead we walked back to the hotel from the taco place and said anywhere that's open we go there. Sam's barbecue was open. We went in there and we was like, whatever you've got left and he's like, the ribs are good. Like great. We'll have ribs. They were, you know, we're on Dream Side dish at the minute. If I was to make a dream menu of that tour that I had in America, they would be my dream side was these ribs side. They were, yeah, I don't have them as the side. Okay. Because they were, they were delicious. But I know what my dream made would be from that. I did do a whole thing with my tour manager. Yeah, when it was like, let's do an off menu for the tour. So we did that and those were my dreams side with those ribs. Do you love that when he went, let's do an off menu? Right. I did love it, actually. Yeah. I wish you could say that. I didn't. That's the brilliant idea. Also, man, that place did Dacaries as well. You'll love them. Take away Dacaries. Yes. In a minifone cup. Huge. You mungus. Absolutely insane that I drank this. Yeah. Like they said, you're like boozy or sweet. I said, I take boozy over sweet. Yep. And they weren't messing around. No. It was like a whole drum full. It was fluorescent red. And I couldn't stop drinking it. But at the hotel, I was like, man, you're really going to make sure I wake up tomorrow. Because I'm going to miss the flight. How did you even sleep? Yeah. So much sugar in me and I'm hammered. Yeah. I'm going to kick someone's door and play and punk music. That's how drunk I am. Everything being in America, everything. Like a glass of wine. I'm just like, is this the glass or is this half of the bottle? Yeah. And with like anything like any spirits as well. They don't use any measure. Measure it. They're just like free pour everything. So you go and have like a cocktail or something and then you realize it's just straight booze all the way up to the top. Great. But it's quite expensive, right? It's good. We went out with friends in New York and I didn't know, you know, so we were like eight people there and everybody's ordering and ordering and I'm thinking, okay, I'm going to spend my money on clothes and shoes and bags. So I'm just going to eat a salad and just have a little cocktail. So and they were eating and we're having fun, whatever. And at the end of the like meal, they're like, okay, we're going to split. Yeah. Like and like in Germany. They never. Yeah. Like 55 cents. Okay. You pay 20 and you have his house like, okay. The next day we went out, you can imagine what I did. Yeah. You got to say you went clothes shopper with them all the maintenance. No. No, no, no. That would have been the incentive to build for the clothes. No, no, no. I'm sorry. I love how I know you mentioned watching sex with the city. Now you've got and I went to New York and I was going to go close. Yeah. This is like exactly that lifestyle. Yes. Sorry. You got to live your dream. Yeah. I did. I did. I did. I did. You never watched every one. Male. I've benefited a lot from what you see when he comes to food. Because every time I go to New York. You only go from that. Yeah. Me and what he didn't think you were going to say that. We're like, oh, you've got a lot from sexy. Yes. The food. The bakery. I go to the bakery and get the banana pudding all the time because that's what I don't know what you two were thinking about. Yeah! Life. Your dream drink, then, we were just talking about drinks a little bit. I have this wine. I love. Like, it's called, I don't know if you guys know it. It's called chocolate block from South Africa. South Africa, man. Yeah. It's fantastic. It's really good. I love that. I think I have heard it. Yeah, try it. Try it. It's just fantastic. I don't know what's happening. It's a very recognizable label. It's like a white label just with chocolate block written on it in black. And it's pretty widely available, right? You can find it. It's fine. Sometimes with wine like you have an amazing glass of wine and you're like, what was the bottle take a picture of it? Yes. And then you go online. There's nothing about it. But chocolate block, you can actually buy it. Yeah. Finally, you get it here. And I take, like, I used to kind of fly over from South Africa with chocolate block. No girls, but chocolate block in the suitcase. But now you find it. So it's really great. Does it live up to its name? Very chocolatey. I wouldn't say chocolatey, but it's got that you know chocolate is got a kind of, well, it's rich. It's rich and it feels like you're drinking velvet. Wow. It's a good description of it. It's a big wine. It's a big wine. Yes. So if I put red wine in my velvetizer, would it taste like a chocolate block? No. Don't put red wine in your velvetizer. Why did I bring the bottle? I shut up. I have one in my room. I think it would be like a... It's like, what? It's like, what? It's the bed. I'm being mean. No, it's Christmas time. I'm handing them out. Yeah. Well, that could be to work with. But that could be a mold wine. I could do that in the velvetizer. I'm going to chocolate block in, because that's still Texas. It's a hot chocolate velvetizer. If I'm going to chocolate block in there, I can plead innocence if I take it to the mechanic or I'm going to get it from the mechanic. Yeah, yeah. So to the chocolate mechanic. Yes. So if I put the chocolate block in there and try and make a little mold wine, maybe put some cloves in there, the orange, the cinnamon, and put it in the velvetizer and see what I come up with there. And if it breaks, I can go in the mechanic and go, sorry, it's a chocolate block on it. It's hot chocolate. Sorry, all the cloves have gummed up the mechanism. Yeah, yeah. Don't know. I'm so confused. Merry Christmas, like. Do you like mold wine? Mold wine, the warm wine, because it's called Glover. Sorry. Glover. I thought that would be like, my accent had gotten the way that people do. No, no, no, no, no, I love it. I just thought I was thinking I haven't had an opportunity to drink it yet. And I'm leaving soon and when I'm back, they don't have it anymore. That was just in my thought. I love, I love, I love, I love, when you said about Northern accent, earlier, I was like, I'm not Northern, but no, no, you caught me. I'm still, I'm still a, I'm still a, I thought I thought I love a bad accent. You have something. You have a sort of accent. Yeah, yeah. Disgusting, isn't it? What is it? I didn't, I never say anything like that. I don't mind if you think my voice is disgusting. No, not at all. I know, I know you think it's disgusting, but you don't need to say it. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Just tell me if it's disgusting. I understand you. Yes. That's the main point. And I understand it's disgusting. Yes. But where are you from? Catcher in a Northamptonshire, in the middle of the country. I don't know. I'm trying to think now if any strictly guests have come from near there. No, you're the only person to have come from Catherine. Yeah, look, I'd be if there's someone near from near there. But I don't think there is really. Gluivine is, is Moldwine right, but the Germans do it in a place Christmas. Over Christmas. It's mainly over Christmas. So it's a European thing. Yeah, I think so. We don't have it inside Africa. Because they have it in Scandinavia as well and call it different things. So my wife's just filmed a show in Finland. And in Finland they call it Glurgy. Glurgy. Glurgy. Glurgy. Glurgy. Glurgy. Glurgy. Yeah, close, close to Glurgy. Glurgy. Glurgy. Glurgy. Yeah. Yes, Slithered Armans in it. Yes. And then raisins. And raisins. Yes. And then poor extra boozing it as well, like con, yeah, because I heard so good. Yes, yes. And with your bears' names. And the wine. Yes. That's weird, because that's like old wine. Yes. Raisins isn't it? Yes. Old wine. No, no, no, I couldn't be in wine. That's why they didn't reach it's potential. It's like, yes, it's weird, I guess. Because it's wine is like really old grapes. And then for the... But then raisins are also like old grapes. Yeah. So they're just like different directions. It's like sliding doors. Yeah, yeah. They know each other and go, this is what I could have been. Mm-hmm. And raisins are then so you find themselves bobbing about in the wine must be very weird. Thank you. Yeah. How would you feel, Motsie, if you were a raisin bobbing about in some wine? Well, well, I'd feel at home, no? Thank you for answering that absolutely idiotic question. You know, what can I say? We arrive at your dream dessert. Oh, this has been such a difficult day. Let's stick with chocolate. Not a yeah. Yeah, yeah. But with, again, my wording, I will have that how do you call that chocolate? That's not really completely baked and then you go in and it's nice and so on. It's a chocolate lava cake or chocolate fondant. Or chocolate fondant. Yeah, it's a great choice. That with ice cream or maybe some vanilla. I'm thinking, because my in my head is like something else is coming up. But I'll stick to that choice. What was the other thing that was in your head? It's like creamy. They eat it a lot in Spain. Like cream catecholène, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I've been having a hard time with some caramel on top. Yeah, it's a bit like a cranberry lay, right? Yes. But in Spain, it's a bit orangey. Yeah, and then you have caramelised like the sugar on top and then you break it. That's so good. Then you're in paradise. Do you want it? You order the chocolate fondant and your husband orders the cream catecholène and you have halfie. Yes, yes. And he'll probably order something on top. If he does, he'll ask us. He does. I'll see what you're so obsessed with him, man. And he's one of him two puns. He does for you. Don't you dare. No, like, yeah. We found the line of what we took to the job. Don't not hurry my husband. Foundries. That sounds great. If you're splitting the the puts like that, big respect. Yeah, you can do that. You'd have one thing to yourself and then something for the table to split. I would do that, but I would also in the past when I have gone, I'll let's both get different ones and we'll have half because I can't decide. Yeah. Whatever one I like the best out of the two are going to order a full one of that again afterwards. So I will do half and half. And then I'll think I really liked that one. I wish I'd had a full one. Nice. Last time I did that was in Lisbon and this is something you might like. Oh, nice. I had a red one in chocolate ice cream. That sounds great. And yeah, I think that would be right up your street, actually in Montse. Yeah. It was very delicious with this amazing, quite thick homemade wafer biscuit and it was so good I was ordered another one straight away. Nice. Nice. Nice. It was like, had to. Absolutely obsessed with the first one. I felt that way about the ice cream that you feel about your husband. You know what? It's funny when he's pick up by the, I don't know. I don't know what one thing I left out that I really, really, really love. It's not like, I don't know where to place it, but that's truffle. Like I, or if there's anything truffle anywhere, I'm like, I had that like that. Well, we could put a truffle on the side with like a little greater. And if you feel like it just, you can grate it onto the food. On the potatoes. On to the whole thing. Yeah. On the rusty truffle. Yeah. Yeah. Mothiners did a dance move, everyone. Yeah. I got to see it in real life. 10. Oh, for the food. Yeah. Yeah. Love, love, love. What they asked for a joke for a bit of a fun. They asked you to enter Strictly One Year. I've done it. Yeah, but what I'm saying, you're not a pencil dancer. You're one of the selects. Listen, I would do it. Like, I keep on saying that every single day, I'll tell you why. Because every time I got out of stairs, I see all these girls and I see all these celebrities and they get fit, right? They get fit. And for me to be like, okay, come on, we're going to go to the fitness studio or whatever home training. I'm just like, but if you have to, yeah, I'm always like, find a show like that for me. I'm to my manager. Find me that. But differently. I do the same thing. I call my manager every day and say, get me cast in a Marvel film. Yeah. All I want is that. And I don't have to be in it. I just want to do the gym bit. Yeah. You know, I'm careful. I don't make the edit. Find me. Find me just before. I work for it. No, I won't say that. Okay. I can't say it. That's a story that was told to me in confidence. I'm going to meet you back to you now, see how you feel about it. Okay. You would like sparkling water with lemon and ice and some glitter in it. Yes. You'll tell me the story afterwards, right? Yes. I've already told it to you. Problems are bred. You would like bread. You would like a selection of German bread from the bakery. But there was one in particular you said that you said that you're afraid of. Focon bread. Yes. It's data. Antipasti to share with your husband. You want a yummy one with tomato, mozzarella, mushroom, salami, honey melon with the shit around it. Yeah. More bread, sundry tomatoes, fried zucchini, main course, schnitzel, nice and thin, side dish, potato rosti with a little bit of a truffle on the side that you can grate on if you feel like it. Yes. And that is from the hotel. Falkerstein, Kampinski. Then you want some chocolate block wine and for dessert, a chocolate fondant with ice cream for yourself, cream catalanna for your husband half each. And then he'll order a surprise one on top of that. Yes. Woo! That's a great menu. I know we stressed you out. Yes. But that's a delicious menu. You got to be happy with that. Yeah, that's food, man. What a perfect way to end the podcast. We are changing the name of the podcast. So that's food, man. We've definitely been a strap month. Yeah, definitely. Thank you so much for coming on the podcast. Thank you, Marcy. Thank you, Marcy. Thank you, Marcy. Thank you, Marcy. Thank you. That was the off menu menu of Marti Mavisi. Thank you so much for coming in. That was great. Thank you, Marcy. Sorry for the burps. Sorry for the burps, Marcy. My stomach behaved itself, though. Yeah, your stomach was very good. I was burping away. I couldn't be thinking about that for a long time. That is mad that she lives where my dad used to live. That's crazy. I don't think enough of a big deal was made of it at the time. No, I think she thought I was lying. Yeah. I was doing a joke, which shows that what she thinks of quality of my jokes, though. Yeah, yeah. It's like, I must be what passes for humour here in the UK. My dad lived there. Yeah. Okay. Cool. Cool. All right. Yeah. Delicious menu. Great menu. Great menu. I don't know what. I'd love to eat that menu while reading, finding my own rhythm by Marcy Mavisi. Lovely. And thank you, Marcy, for not saying the secret ingredient, not saying Michael Vagel. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. Vagel. No, thank you. I'm not a lot of veg made onto the menu, actually, to be fair. Yeah, actually. Why is a bit of salad there? It's not a side salad for the cucumber salad. Yeah, with the schnitz. But mainly meat and potato. Meat and potato for your mates. You know what? Every time I come out of an off menu and think, I really want this now. And it's pretty much the whole menu. So it must have been good. It must have been good. But the schnitz, the rosty. And then we cheat and pick mould wine or glue vine. But I do really want a mould wine now. I've not had one yet. We are recording this in a festive season. Yeah. And I very much would like a mould wine at some point. We talked enough about it for it to be a thing now that you're going to want. I mean, every festive season, everyone finds it. The first time someone mentions a thing to you that you haven't eaten that festive season, yeah, I've got to have it. I've got to have a mince pie. Oh, when someone puts that in your hair, you haven't had one yet. And then you have one. And then you go, not for another year, thank you. Benito, can you make us some mould wine, please? Yes. And some mince pies with your fair hands. Thank you very much to Motsie for coming on the show. Thank you, Motsie. You're the greatest of judges. We will see you again next week. Bye bye. Bye bye. Bye bye. Bye. Hello, it's me, Amy Glentill. You might remember me from the best ever episode of Off Menu, where Sput and my mum and Astro about seaweed on mashed potato and our relationships have been the same since. And I am joined by me and Smith. I would probably go bread. I'm not going to spoil it in case. Get him on James and Ed, but we're here sneaking in to your podcast experience. It's over a new podcast that we're doing. It's called Northern News. It's about all the new stories that we've missed out from the North because, look, we're two NARVANERS, sure. But we've been living in London for a long time. The new stories are funny, quite a lot of them crimes. It's all kicking off. And that's a new podcast called Northern News. We'd love to hear some. Maybe we'll get my mum on. Get a glittles mum on every episode. That's Northern News. When's it coming in? This first day. That everywhere's that blaming.