My Therapist Ghosted Me

Join Vogue Williams & Joanne McNally for a weekly chat with 100% honesty guaranteed.

"My Therapist Ghosted Me" is the result of Joanne's therapist doing just that! Ignoring her calls, refusing to answer the door at the clinic, or speak to her after she'd tracked him down at Enfield crematorium as he scattered his Aunt's ashes. Despite it all, it’s often said that friends give the best therapy so Vogue & Joanne have teamed up to do exactly that (alongside a generous helping of laughter as that too is said to be the best form of therapy). Together they will give 100% unqualified, unsubstantiated but up front and honest advice on the plethora of issues they and many others continue to grapple with.

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MTGM EXTRA! "Which is the tip?!"

Wed, 15 Mar 2023 07:40

Vogue's got her way and we're discussing celebritah-ahahs: the cliff notes of the Selena/Hailey fued, Liam Hemsworth and Miley and a sprinkling of Avril Lavigne. Plus, wanking into kettles, autocorrect fails and a big old debate surrounding an aubergine.

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This is a global player original podcast. Hello and welcome to the bonus episode of my therapist goes to me with me, Vogue Williams and her, Joanne Macnally. Joanne, no, we've got to talk about it. We've got to talk about it. No. And I know that you want me to try and pull back me on the slab, but like that's just the person I am. I know we liked it. We do like a bit of celeb. We can't deny it. We need to have a bit of celebrity. Ha ha. Gosh. So Selena Gomez. What is actually going on with all that shit? You know what? I actually think it's so mean now, because I just think like Hayley Bieber is getting like serious abuse off people. She's lost a million followers and it's all over this thing. Right. So here's what kind of happened. Do you want a little run down? Please, I need someone to explain to break this shit down for me. There's always been like this subtle tension between Selena, who is Justin Bieber's ex and Hayley, his wife, for the feud all started with eyebrows. I love this. This is like the cliff notes of the feud. Yeah. Okay. Hit me. Just tiny bit. Selena posted a better accidentally over nominating her braze. We've all been there, Selena. Well, I haven't, because I've never nominated my braze. Yeah, we haven't been there. That was a lie. Vogue Williams lying again. Sorry, Selena. We haven't been there. Later that day, Kylie posted a video for herself and Hayley on FaceTime showing off their eyebrows, making subtle digs at Selena. What? Where are they making subtle digs? Where do women have eyebrows? Were they just on camera wearing their own eyebrows? Were they actually making digs? Yeah, that's the problem. They were wearing their eyebrows on their face. Kylie commented on a few TikToks saying that it was ridiculous and people started to call Hayley and Kylie mean girls. And Selena commented on a few videos thanking fans for their support. You see that's... She's throwing the flowers. She's stirring. She's stirring the pot there. A few days later, Selena comes off socials saying that this is a little silly and she's too old for it. And a few weeks later, Selena reappeared on TikTok with a makeup tutorial in the videos comment she wrote, please be kinder and consider others mental health. This really made people double down on the fact that Kylie and Hayley are mean girls, so people digging up tons of problematic tweets from Hayley. Oh my god. Then Justin had his birthday party and he handed out lighters with him. So thankful I didn't end up with what I thought I wanted. I had read that and I had... What the fuck is that? You see, this is the thing. Is that true? This is what I need to know because if it is true, that is real gay background. That is shade, but that is not her throwing shade. But people are saying Hayley had this made as it was a surprise. Why is it always the woman? Why always throw her under the bus? I'm sorry, but Justin and Selena went out when they were 11 or something. Although I do know that he basically broke up with Selena and got married to Hayley Bieber within like literally an hour, which is gonna stay. Well, fast forward today, Selena has overtaken Kylie as the most followed female on Instagram, gaining 16 million followers. And Hayley has lost over a million, but Hayley is getting loads of abuse and I just don't know if someone... Like I want... I'm sorry, I thought my boo was leaking there. It's not. It's not. There's no milk left there. Like little empty socks. I know there are socks of empty socks. I hope that I've nightmares this and stuff. I can pump. You could just hear me moving around the gaities. No. No. No. No. Anyway, I just think like seriously, are we ready? Are we back in here? Here we back in. You're being so excited. Who gets a shit? We do give shit. This is we love this shit. I know how do people... I think people are being too mean and just assuming that Hayley... Hayley and Kylie... Like the girls obviously... Like if Selena doesn't like Hayley, who gives a shit? That's her own beef. They're not all abusing each other. I don't think they'd be stupid enough to be seen as mean girls. I don't think they were trying to be... I don't know. I just don't. I don't know. We've had to... We've had to hold ourselves back at home. We were ground women. Like they were kids when they were fat. Like they were really young when all this shit happened. Yes. But they're not kids net. Back in the day, of course. But I don't think they're doing it net. But it wasn't their stuff. Wasn't their videos resurfaced of Hayley kind of... Pretending to varnish when someone mentions Selena Gomez's name and all this jazz. So there was definitely... I haven't looked into all that. Yeah. Oh my gosh. This is... You were doing the Clifnotes. I know. Well, I'm doing the Clifnotes of the most recent fight. But what I will say is we're all like little babies. About stuff like that when you're younger. The kids... As Brandon Courtney said to me, a diplomat thinks twice before he says nothing at all. Say nothing. Say nothing. But then when they do kick off, it's highly entertaining, as we know. A.K.A. Oh, did you hear the rumor that Liam Hammers wrote this potentially sewing Miley Cyrus for a life? I saw that. Liam, listen, if you did that dirty, my friend, I wouldn't bother suing. Okay? This could also be a complete bullshit rumor. I know. We don't deal in fact, Vogue. We're not David Attenborough. Now that I've gotten you on to the celebrity band, did you see... You got one celebrity story, Vogue. I just want more. Come on. Okay, fun. Tiger and Avril Lavina going out with each other. I can't understand. This is the... Remember what I was saying earlier? I don't believe in the moon. I don't believe in the legacy of the moon that it makes us leaner. Then when I saw that story I went out on, there might be something to be said for the whole moon, because that is just wild. I know, but you know what, Spenny, he used to know that fellow Brody Jenner. He said that they hung out when he was going out with Avril Lavigne. And supposedly everybody fancies the pants off Avril Lavigne. You're people love Avril Lavigne. She's because I'd say it's well, because she's so different to us. I'm going to say she doesn't give a Hollywood. She doesn't give Hollywood. She's this kind of like skater, kids. Tiger. I don't know. Because you go from Kylie Kardashian to Avril Lavigne. That's stupid to go for me. What is she? She was with Mad Son, and then she went to tell me. She's engaged. I know, and she's been married to that other fellow from some 41-year-old girl after my own harsh. So Tiger, he used to be on only fans, by the way, and he used to make $7.6 million a month. Sorry, I just saw this under his name. His ex Black China makes 20 million a month. So, Joanne, I'm not coming off only fans, I'm not doing it. I know. I'm not doing it. I know. What would you put up on only fans? I can imagine in our based songs. My River Island. My River Island-ass-caughting pants. I think they look great. I think they look great too. Do you want to hear some emails from our lovely listeners? Okay. Okay. I think you're driving this. My head's not in the game today. I'm distracted. You're doing a great job. You're doing a great job. You're up. You're not complaining about being tired, which I would have mentioned 460 times. By nothing worse. By nothing worse. Thank you. It just, it says, it says, it's a great job to be working. It's a great job to have the work. It's all going to work. Absolutely. For the job that you love, it's fantastic. Fantastic. When you love your job, you don't work a day in your life. This is so nice. Okay. He dumped me over Garlic. Auto-correct problems. Which is the tip? Catal Wanker. And that's it. Let's go Catal Wanker because this is all the back of me finding out the people are the knickers in Hotel Catal. I'm not really sure. I'm sorry. Joanne, we need, we need a follow-up section on the pop because when we do something on the pop, then someone, they send in their kind of follow-up stories. And there was a lot of talk, a lot of talk in the DMs about the fact that Hayes Keeper and Hotel have one cloth to clean the hall room. And so they're like, they're clean at the toilet and then they're down and they're cleaning the cups. So she was like, she said, a rather tall one, so we'll take a shit in the catal. Because you know not to touch the catal, but you're using those coffee cups and she was like, and that is the same cloth that's been used. Think about it. I will tell you something, right? I already don't really like staying in hotels because I just want to be at home all the time. And I'm actually going to buy myself one of those because I saw the girl's catal. He has this kettle that's a flat pack. It flattens down. And then he lifts it out and it's a kettle. So I'm going to get a kettle for our tour and I'm also going to get his two cups. Groud. He has his own, um, don't disturb me sign for a hotel door and he also has his own lock to lock himself into a hotel. That's a good word. So you've real notions about yourself, don't you? I said, who the fuck are you breaking into your room if I need to get broken into it to me? Give me that thing now. Oh my god stop. I already don't like staying in hotels. We're going home. Actually, not to be fair. I'm staying in a hotel this weekend. I'm going away. And I'm working with my mom in Limerick and in Cork. And I've stayed in a hotel and I actually can't wait to get the most amazing gym. I can't wait for a buffet breakfast. Oh yeah, yeah. I was in staying in a hotel and I learned a reason to create a great buffet. I never have to go. A great buffet. Yeah. What are you doing with Sandra? What are you doing with Sandra? It's Kizzi. I'm working. It's from Mother's Day. Okay, it was one thing you couldn't get involved in, Royce. I'm fine. And you know what I'm doing? I'm taking Tee away because I'm trying to do stuff. Take him away. No one likes my marriage. Go mad here. I'm trying to do several things with the kids. So I told Tee that I'd take him away. I was like, and then another time I'll take Shiji on her own. And then I'll come to I was like, well that's not really how it works. I just don't know how to get out of the house. Because Shiji will be freaked if she sees me in England. Yeah. Anyway. Anyway. Okay. Catel Wanker. Hey, ghosty girlies. Oh no. Cut that stuff out. I like that. Oh, I love this. Sorry, L. John's. I'm just a bitch. L. On the topic from last week regarding hotel kettles, I would be very cautious using them as I worked with a fella who would rank into hotel kettles just because he could. But I know people who also boil eggs in the kettle as well. In summary, I think we need to desenter a communal public kettles from our lives. Thanks. What the why would somebody whink into a kettle? Because they can. I know, but I told you, this is what I told you about the the bad spreads. The ones that don't get washed all the time. Oh god, they being at all. There's a lot of stories about and I know we might but I know we're still on the kettle chapel. They have people like Lads, but he's named Kettles more because he just couldn't be as fine as the toilet. Anyway, listen, you know, once it's boiled, everything's safe. That's, I have the kind of medieval approach to help. No, you know, I'm not. I'm actually, when I saw you use them one this week and I thought, I don't know how you should go in there. Now I'm looking at whinking into kettles and pissing in kettles. It's just, it's really not up my street. Joanne loves a whinky kettle. That's just her thing. I do. I like a spy like a spicy tea. What can I say? Oh my gosh. I feel that too. I feel that too. I feel that too. And if you don't, I'd rather use sperm as rather than that, that you hate to teem ilk. To cool it out. Oh my god, you're a fault. That's actually a fair point. Yes, exactly. I don't like. Auto correct problems. Oh yeah, please. Hey, Logan Joanne. Love the part. I keep having frequent auto correct issues when emailing for my phone. It frequently changes my name when I'm typing Patrick. So I've regularly sent work emails signed off regards, ostrich. Fascinating. We have a male listener. I love this. Astrid, a couple of weeks ago, I sent an email to my psychiatrist, because I got a trust. Which this time, auto correct it to regards pathetic. The worst and most latest, I was messaging my work colleagues to tell them my wife I was down. So I wouldn't be online. And accidentally sent my wife has gone down on me. So won't be online. That is hilarious. I hate that auto correct graph. I only get the ones when I'm trying to say fuck and it says duck the whole time. And then I do it again. And it says duck again, duck, duck, duck. My mom went to write on someone, someone she knew died. And so she wrote, you know, the way to have these kind of O-R-I-P dotty like pages that are going to dedicate to them. And she meant her I can condolences on your last. And she left it up there for ages. She'd written congratulations. And your last. Congratulations. She's out of your life. Well done. Congratulations. Samantha. God. Thank you for the email, Patrick. That was quite funny. Hey, well, Patrick, we enjoyed that. We did enjoy it. Goodbye. Last stretch. Good luck. Which? Oh, last stretch. Goodbye, pathetic. Gotta soak off your wife. Which is the tip? Hey, guys, I've been wanting to email the part but I haven't felt like anything was worthy enough until this. We all know the eggplant emoji is accepted as a penis. My two friends and wife got into a bait, which was the actual tip. Oh, this is it. This is it. This is this is stuff we like dealing with. Current. Yes. Poor. One said the stem bit was not the tip as there that would that's where it would be attached. I agree. I think the stem bit is the base. No, no, no, no, I don't agree. I think the girthy, the fat bit is the base. No, I'd always have thought the top of the overgene was the top of the overgene. I'd rather take the top than the bottom. Have you seen the size? I've seen the size of my mate. Well, I've been able for it. You wouldn't even know this is a blitz prep. There's an overgene in your mate. Is it? You have really great moments. Sometimes I'm all going, there's just a carat-hanging end, my teeth, but don't even know what to say. No, no, no, no, no. Try to crawl out your mate. It's been your stomach for years. I've got a chappaccio in the box there. It just starts playing like... Cheepet, it's running. Cheepet, it's running. Cheepet though. Oh, what's he put out of his dad? Yeah, he was. Why are you saying, oh, he didn't die. Not in the book, anyway. Did you just say no? No, I'm sure he's right there. Well, he said no. He's not done yet. My wife and other friend felt the stem was for sure the tip because the other part of the emoji was too big and the condom would pop. Yeah, no, I... I am standing firm on my belief that the stem of the tip. Well, here you go. My friend who agrees with me is a lawyer for a nurse. She went to work on Monday taking a poll and we are in the monotony. We are all appalled. I thought to myself the only people who could solve it. So be drawn and vogue and I will accept the L. If you guys believe the stem in the tip. We are doing important work. I mean, and how should we start? So, okay, so you think the green bit is the tip. I think the other bit is the tip. Hold on, no, no, no. I think it starts. I can't believe we're spending so much. I think it starts far and it gets slim. But one about the balance. Hold on, I'm actually just going to look at it. I'm just going to bring it into my vision here. Don't worry, Kelly, we're really putting our best into this. Yeah, no, I think this is important. Actually. Listen to this bit. It is me. Yeah, yeah. Fun fact, I'm an American and lived in Ireland for two years while completing my master's degree. I believe the biggest benefit I received from my degree was being able to understand you on. I think we stand the same. So do I. I was having a massage you the day by my lovely massage lady, Julie, and she's from Turkey. And her husband is also from Turkey. And she came up and she started laughing. And she's like, I have to tell you, I have to tell you. I was like, what? And she goes, my husband and I were listening to your podcast in the car. And he asked me, why are they speaking like that? Does anybody want to start them? Maybe add us up at 1.5. I don't mean that. I don't mean that. I'm not saying I'm not going to be able to. Okay, we'll go with us. We speak cryptically. So men like him can't listen. That's what that is. Yeah, exactly. It's not so important here. You're not going to come to the tour. You're not going to come to the tour. You're not going to come to the tour. Are you still looking for an overgiend? No, no, I'm just kind of getting locked in here. Not on anything. Sorry, Kelly, we're really trying to figure out this overgiend business for you. I'm telling you, I think the purple is a very clear to me now that I've had a good look at it here. And it's very clear that the green bit is the tip. It's pointing up like the bass. It's clearly coming from the saditastes. The way even the way it's positioned. That's the bit that hangs on. And then you've got the bell end at the end. So it's fatter. I don't take off my glasses here. I have a little very cold feeling. No, no, no, no, I'd be taking the green bit now, half-sake. Well, sorry, Kat. Emma, which do you think is the tip? Emma's a lesbian, so she won't even know. Yeah, she won't. What's the tip? Exactly. The tip of the dick. Never seen one. Don't scare her, man. That's amazing. I've seen a lot of dicks. And none of them have really looked like that. I mean, how did the overgiend even count him? How did that become its thing? Well, I'm really sorry, Kelly. We weren't able to sort a tip for you. I don't know. I think we did. I think we did, actually. No, because you're not, you're saying the green bit. I'm saying the other bit. Yeah, we have to agree to disagree there. And after agreed to disagree, we might get on to my doctor. We don't share my doctor about it. We don't share the same views. Unfortunately, on the overgiend. Excuse me, doctor. We're quite divided. We're quite divided. Thank you, everybody, for listening. We've had a fantastic time. And we loved talking about the overgiend. Do you send us moregged On愀 Runs?